"The Best Moments for Women In 2011"

Midst all the corruption, ineptitude and obscene financial rewards to executives who've overseen poorly managed companies, and temporarily ignoring the appalling incompetence at government levels on addressing our collective sustainable futures, it's great to focus on something positive!

On Jan 5th 2012 The Huffington Post presented a selection of 50+ significant women who made great contributions during 2011 in areas as diverse as comedy, science, film, politics, sex and sexuality, business, religion and writing, here.

Playing the automated slide show doesn't take long, however I found it more interesting to tap through manually so I could pause and absorb the information about each of the women and why they were significant. The next phase is to watch all the videos!

How do you sum up what this year meant for women? It's easy to think only of what needs to change and hasn't, or of the really awful things that are being done to women around the world -- this minute, in fact.

But plenty of things happened for women this year that are worth celebrating, too. Here are the 50 moments in 2011 that struck us as particularly important or astonishing or lovely. They include wins, memes, athletics, an inauguration, a birth, songs, dances, books, movies, speeches, and feats of precociousness. You probably won't agree with all of our choices -- so tell us in comments what we left out.

And whenever you need to be reminded what good company women are in, we hope you'll return to this list. While 2011 wasn't perfect, it certainly had its moments.

PHOTOS/VIDEOS: The 50 Best Moments For Women In 2011

As you click through, make sure you stop to watch the little girl annoyed at pink toy aisles for girls. I love that her dad listened and explored the issue with her.

Because I seem unable to embed the slide show, I'll whet your appetite with one of Huffpost's selections: how women are perceived in the media.

Jennifer Siebel Newsom's documentary makes everyone who's thinks they've heard it before refocus on how badly the media depicts women -- and how we can change that. 

The Transformers Choir & the power of music to heal.

Songwriting as a tool to process grief.

Dr Felicity Baker at the Happiness and its Causes conference discussed research into the power of music which showed that listening to music helps people who have had strokes improve their cognition and ability to think. She also discussed the therapeutic value of songwriting as a tool to help process grief as well as joy.

It’s like telling healing stories in a musical way. 

We heard in a panel discussion that musicians are sensitive souls who need to understand the depth of human emotions to be able to express them through song and music.

“It’s a gift to be able to move people to tears. Musicians are sensitive souls and need to understand emotion and to share, to be vulnerable in front of an audience for a living, to lay oneself bare, for the emotions to be bare, as a gift to the audience”.

The Transformers Choir
The Transformers are a group who experience extreme disadvantage in their communities and may experience mental health problems, general disability and homelessness in inner city Brisbane. Nonetheless they rehearse weekly and perform regularly. Their motto is a quote from Hans Christian Andersen: “Where words fail, music speaks”.

Transformers Choir - pic from here

The goal in creating the Transformers Choir was to bring people together as part of a community, to connect with others and let music do its magic. Creating music added a new focus to their lives. Participating in the group has given meaning to many and some group members say they feel less depressed. Apparently focusing on creativity in one sphere of our lives can encourage us to be creative in how we deal with ourselves in other areas.

The Transformer’s songwriter Brian Procopis, listens carefully to group members and collaborates fully with the contributors, it’s their experience he’s writing about, not his, and he’s very respectful of this. The bad stuff in life isn’t ignored or denied, and is incorporated into song, but the primary focus is on creativity and the process of writing the song. This was a really powerful illustration of the therapeutic effect of music and song that Dr Felicity Baker mentioned.

So much to think about. I’m in awe of the courage it must take to perform on stage when you are vulnerable, not only as a musician but as a member of a group disengaged from mainstream society.

This comment moved me deeply:  “The Transformers want to be inspirational and give to the audience”.

There we were, a privileged audience, consisting of professional, medical, creative, religious, artistic, and generally well to do people, being offered a gift from those who have little to give, expect themselves, their voices and their experiences.

It's really the greatest gift of all isn't it, to give yourself. Not a thing, not something with a dollar value, but yourself. They have nothing, but they gave everything.

I felt gratitude, but also humbled, privileged, honoured, energised, uplifted, and moved to tears.

They received a standing ovation.


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Creativity. Music. Curiosity. 

A great combination to begin the healing process after bullying.

Given what we now know about the power of song-writing to aid healing, it'd be great if those who have been the targets of bullying, and are hurting in other ways, could have a go at writing about your experience in song and perhaps make up a tune for it. Or if that's a bit too daunting to start with, try singing a song perhaps while washing the dishes.  See what happens. Be inspired by the very obvious benefits the Transformers experience and see how it pans out in your life.

Articles about the Transformers Choir here and here.
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A-Z Blogging Challenge. Reflections

What a journey, what a month.

Firstly a humungous thankyou to Arlee at Tossing it Out and his very able crew for hosting. It's been a massive job for you all, and I appreciate the time and energy that you've all put into this event.

Congratulations, well done!

What I've learnt:
Most importantly, don't tackle two blogs in the A-Z Blogging challenge without preparation! It wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. It was utterly exhausting, demanding, draining and I'd never recommend it - ever - to anyone who has an ounce of common sense.

I'd seen the buttons around the blogosphere and wondered what the A-Z challenge was about and thought it looked like fun, so entered my 'for me' blog - jumpingaground - that was all fine and good. Then, on March 31st  I had a rush of blood to my head and decided at that late stage to enter my more formal blog. That's plain crazy!

One entry? No worries.
Drabbles? Fine.
Two entries? Insane!

The alliterative Drabbles were fun to write over at jumpingaground , although I found it hard to turn off once I got on a roll. All stories are based on real people and events except Yolanda and her yellow yacht. Many are environment or climate related, others are to do with learning difficulties.

I suspect the idea of writing about bullying had been floating around in my head, lurking, just waiting for an opportunity like this. The structure worked for me. I think if I'd been left to my own devices I wouldn't have attempted it at all or I would have drifted and dithered, with a bit here and a bit there. A-Z provided the scaffolding I needed to do it in one hit.

My list of A-Z Workplace Bullying posts is here.

Before I started, I had no idea how long each post would take. I spent 1/2 a day getting a vague outline together to make sure I would have something for each letter, realised I had something sort of workable, and plunged in. I hadn't anticipated each post would then take many many hours, revising, rewording, checking for accuracy, editing and adding pictures. Some are a bit long, but that's the way they are.

I'm tenacious. This is not good if you're being bullied. It could be possible to hang on and try to make something work when it's destined not to. But for a blogging challenge it's invaluable!

I'll try to remember never to post a comment when I've had a glass or two of wine. It's not good. Now you know why some of those comments were, erm not so clearly written. 

It would have been difficult to have completed the posts without the support and input from other bloggers. Each and every comment helped me get through. This topic isn't fun or popular or sexy - to read or to write. Your comments were, and still are, welcomed and cherished.

Why tackle workplace bullying?  I hope these posts might be a resource beyond this challenge. I'm horrified at the prevalence of ongoing bullying in workplaces. As a Career Development Professional, my clients tell me what happens in supposedly reputable organisations. The people I work with are honest, ethical, have strong morals and act with integrity. Too many workplaces don't value those attributes, they chew up employees, take everything they can get, then spit out what's left. I felt my addition to exposing some of the tactics used by bullies was a small something I could do to support others and perhaps shed some light on this appalling behaviour.

Knowledge is power. My aim was to share my knowledge in a hopefully easy to read form to empower others.

What I've learnt about others. People are generous. Of course I knew that, but it's been underlined hugely. People have supported me by encouraging others to read the information, they've forwarded the posts on and have commented in a very positive way. That's what I dreamed might happen. Thanks to everyone who has shared and commented.

What have I learnt about blogging?
Success is just a word. Running the two blogs in tandem was fascinating. jumpingaground went from something like 22 followers to 83, but I don't get many drop in visitors or many hits. Keyword search data is wishy washy at best.  But it's fun, and it's for me!

In comparison, traverselife went from about 22 followers to 52, which in comparison is 'unsuccessful'. Keyword searches however, show clearly what people are looking for, and I get significantly more hits daily but less or no comments. I've had quiet, consistent, steady support for the posts from people within and outside the blogging community. That's rewarding. People who've contacted me have given me a huge boost, It really makes this feel like a strong community pulling together, and is a reassuring feeling of connectedness. Thankyou.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

For me, the month wasn't fun, but it supported my core values and it has been rewarding doing something I truly believe in. I've done the best I can given that it was unplanned and in a sense done on the fly to conform to the challenge guidelines. I'm pleased with the result, and proud I stuck with it. I wouldn't post like that again for a whole month. It took too much out of me. I need a break.

What do I look for in other blogs?
Meatiness, fun, not self indulgent, interesting, challenging without being derogatory or rude.

What next? 
I might do a follow up with something about schools and bullying, add some more links to some good information. Editing needs to happen....drat..... I want to pose the question "Do you bully yourself?" and look at how we're often meaner to ourselves than is healthy. I'm looking forward to eventually writing about the healing process after being bullied. Looking at how we can create rich, full and meaningful lives is something I've wanted to post about, but haven't yet found a structure that feels right. I also want to revisit assertiveness and How to say "No".

Would I recommend this challenge to others? Definitely!

I've just had some insight when I was making a comment on someone else's blog. I went in to this Challenge asking myself what I could GIVE to others. I wasn't focusing on how many followers or comments I could GET.  Hmmm.....

Lastly, I have a newfound respect for everyone who has written a book. How do you do it and stay sane? Characters who wander off and create mayhem, plots that refuse to co-operate - gosh you guys are impressive!

How to make a hyperlink (clicky) signature here

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Z. An A-Z of Workplace bullying- An Incomplete Journey

The areas of Workplace Bullying I've touched on over the past month for the 2011 A-Z April Blogging Challenge hosted by Arlee Bird over at Tossing it Out  include:

A      Angst & Anguish
B      Bullying behaviour - how to recognise it
C      The Courage it takes to stand up to a bully and the Climate in which bullies operate
D      Danger, Depression and Doctors
E       Ethical behaviour
F       Friends, and how important they are to support the bullied person
G      Guilt. The target may feel guilty for being 'weak'
H      Harassment and Health
I        International students and others
J        Journal - The importance of keeping a Journal
K      Known causes of bullying
L       Lies - bullies tell lots of these
M      Mind, Mates & Movement
N      Nurses and other Nice people
O      Obstructive and Outrageous behaviour
P      PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Q      The Qualities we instill in our children
R      The Responsibility to tackle bullying
S       Sociopaths and Serial Bullies
T       Targets and Teachers
U      Underestimate and Unrelenting
V      Vulnerable - the vulnerabilities a bully looks for
W     Why Me? The personal and professional characteristics that make you attractive to a serial bully.
X      The X factor - why some people act with integrity and others go to ground.
Y      You can do something if you're being bullied.
Z       The A-Z of Workplace bullying. The A-Z April Blogging Challenge, 2011.

The focus of these posts was the serial bully in the workplace, however much of the information may be relevant other types of bullying, including:

• abusive, manipulative and violent partners and family members
• abusers of those in care
• bullying neighbours, landlords, authorities
• cruelty to animals
• cult leaders
• child bullies who will evolve into adult bullies
• paedophiles
• racial abusers
• sexual abusers, rapists
• violent offenders
• ...
• ...

Some reflections on the A-Z Challenge
There's so much I haven't touched on, including bullying between tribal or clan groups as we're seeing in the Middle East and human rights abuses throughout the world: Australia, America, Canada, China, Africa, India, we all do it. As societies, we treat people who have different beliefs as lesser human beings. (Think health care reform, religious intolerance, and rational climate discussion in the US and other countries.)

I haven't even touched on how countries such as Australia shamefully bully detainees - those people who used to be called displaced persons after the Second World War. Back then were often greeted with compassion and acknowledgement of the horrific experiences they'd survived, but nowadays similar people are incarcerated behind barbed wire for years as if they're criminals. I haven't looked at bullying between countries for scarce and dwindling natural resources. It's just too big.

Bullying is a huge topic, overwhelming in it's prevalence and complexity through all segments of society in Australia and other countries.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

If I've raised awareness, and helped someone, somewhere, then it's been worthwhile. I'd love to hear from you if something in these posts has supported or encouraged you or someone you know. If there are factual errors, let me know and I'll amend them.

Making Australia Happy was a short TV series which involved reputable health care professionals. The idea was to invite some very unhappy people to follow specific interventions (nothing weird or outlandish) to see if their happiness levels could be improved. Their Happiness Index was measured before, during and after the interventions. It's well worth looking at.  This link to the show includes a further link to the Australian Happiness Index.


How these posts came about
These posts are by no means an exhaustive coverage of Workplace Bullying. I had anticipated writing entertaining Drabbles for the challenge over at jumpingaground, but on March 31st (ie the day before the challenge began) suddenly thought I might be able to do an additional A-Z blogging challenge looking at Workplace Bullying here at traverselife. It wasn't anything I'd consciously planned ahead, although I do have some professional and personal experience.  


The posts were never intended to be academic in tone, but very user friendly with pictures complimenting the words. Each post took many many hours of writing and editing, trying to make them as accessible as possible, but even so I'm well aware many need extensive re-editing. However, I've done it! I doubt I'd have tackled such a big topic if it hadn't been for this challenge and my last minute decision to be involved. 

The Photos
Many of the photos I've used were taken at The East Side Gallery in Berlin in November 2009 as well as around that city. I happened to be in Berlin for the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall and spent hours wandering along, jaw dropped in awe at the extensive, edgy, confronting and fantastic art at the East Side Gallery.  


The idea of the gallery was that it would be an international wall for freedom and encourage discussion about walls and borders.  It's a short section of the Berlin Wall that has been retained and is used as a huge outdoor art gallery, it extends for around 1 kilometre. The art is simply amazing, with artists coming from around the world to contribute. For some of the history of the East Side Gallery see here. Workplace bullying seems to me to be a variation on the theme of walls, borders and obstructions.  

I hope to focus on the healing journey after being bullied and finish with this joyous painting by Terry Denton.

from Terry Denton's book Flying Man.
Terry's TV series "Gasp" has been nominated for an
ANNECY award in France as Best TV series. Good luck Terry! 

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. The FB group eBossWatch is well worth a visit for links to current articles. David Yamada writes excellent posts over at Minding the Workplace and his blog is well worth keeping an eye on.


This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

I'm going to take a break from blogging here for a while after Monday's review, though I'll possibly post some more lighthearted words and photos over at jumping aground. I'll be back with my haphazard non scheduled posts when my brain has recovered. I hope to see those who've become Valued Visitors as well as many of you who've dropped by without commenting. I'll probably focus on assertiveness and healing but if anyone has some ideas, please let me know - no promises, but input is welcome.
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I Dared to Drabble for December

Last month (November) I entered a competition.

I'm not usually big on entering competitions, after all I never win, and it mostly seems waste of time. However this was one devised by Burrowers, Books & Balderdash who've introduced me to the beguiling art of Drabbling. I was delighted by their Drabbles, but also intimidated by the well crafted beauty of the pieces.

A Drabble is a story written in 100 words, no more, no less, (they're very strict about this) and since I was introduced to them earlier this year, I've been smitten. The process appeals to me. I like tinkering with words but tend to go on a bit, and this forces me to find better, briefer combinations of words. The challenge was to explore if I could produce something reasonably interesting in this condensed form.

I was nervous entering their December 'Dare', after all I felt like I was 'playing with the big boys' and well out of my depth. I thought I'd be scoffed at, not publicly (they're not like that) but, well, these people and their contributors are GOOD, and I'm in awe of them.

But I did it, I wrote, edited, surprised myself, clicked on 'send', felt sick, wished I could unsend, waited nervously, and I WON!!!!

Really! Two of the pieces I wrote were considered good enough to be part of the Advent Calendar that you'll find over at The Burrow.

To say I'm delighted is an understatement, but mostly I'm honoured that the judges considered that my Drabbles wouldn't tarnish the quality of their December contributions.

I'm not going to include my pieces here, because that wouldn't be in the spirit of an Advent Calendar. You'll have to pop over there and open the little boxes on the correct dates (remember it'll be a bit later than here due to the time difference) and wait for mine to appear on the 7th and 24th. The contents are far better than chocolate.

Enjoy!


You'll find my response on the December 4th picture of Ice Sculptures here.

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Mindfulness

I've woken up this morning with my eyes puffy and sore; it looks like I'll need to try a new hay fever medication. I stopped taking horseradish and garlic last year when I got up to needing 15+ per day to stop the sneezing and itchiness. So I'm trying the pharmacy stuff, which so far had been pretty good. But today my left eye is horribly itchy and red and not focusing properly. Sigh. I figured that fresh flowers always lift my spirits so went out and cut some gorgeously fragrant roses all wet with the rain. Why do earwigs love getting between the petals? There's dozens of them scurrying around busily trying to hide from my flicking fingers, so I  tried to shake them off only to have the delicate petals cascade around me like the shredded paper waiting to be composted.  Sigh. Perhaps I'd better put the secateurs down before I drop them on my toes.  And why does spell check tell me I've spelt secateurs wrong? The only option it's giving me is sectors, and that's not what you cut rose stems with is it. In all, I'm feeling a bit out of sorts. Quite grumpy in fact. And my tea went cold. Again. Sigh. I wonder if it's ok to microwave it for the third time?

Perhaps I'll take a photo of the roses and put it in here so it's in front of me. And no, I'm not going to be tempted to put them in the vase anywhere near my computer. Even though they'd smell beautiful. I can just see where that'd lead :(

Grumpy sigh.

Hmm, that was interesting.




This photo didn't do anything for me at all ....

But this one did.

By stepping back a bit and tweaking a couple of dust collectors, it worked :)

Good, strong symbols of challenges overcome. 

A small blue "Nessie" made by a cousin in Uig on the Isle of Skye: family difficulties faced squarely and courageously - yes that's encouraging.

A little bear from Berlin, doing a handstand - whimsical - fun. But also representing so much more - a country divided, reunited. Anguish and heartache. So much achieved, so much further to go - it can be done.

A small Asian figurine: Probably Japanese, but to me representing the courage of the Chinese populace struggling to achieve a greater level of transparency and democracy in their government. Huge challenges, chipping away, confronting massive obstacles, prepared to risk their own safety for the benefit of others.

The grasses: clifftop walks, (hay-fever free) - companionship and love.

Good stuff.

Interesting how my mood is lightening.


And lastly because I got sidetracked when I was uploading the photos: The Young Endeavour, recently moored off our local beach.
Teenagers and young adults overcoming fears, and really pushing themselves beyond what they thought was possible. Laughing, happy and so proud when we got chatting to them and offered to take a group photo. The Bay, tranquil, clear, ozone rich. I breathe deeply just looking at the photo.

Hmmm. In my grumpy state, I'd overlooked the power of Mindfulness Meditation in its various guises.

It's a good reminder to just stop and be. Breathe calmly, slowly and deeply.

My physical symptoms are the same, but my mood is so different.

Sigh of contentment :)

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