How low can Aussie politics go?

That's a rhetorical question by the way. I'm guessing I already know the answer.

You don't need to know who these people are, or their positions in society to see that they're having a grand old time! The body language is full of bonhomie, humour, good will and smiling togetherness, perhaps responding to a mutually amusing joke. No signs of disagreement or dissent.

You certainly wouldn't entertain the possibility that a particularly offensive comment had just been made would you? There's nothing in the body language of any of the people to hint at anything other than something delightfully lighthearted and humourous. Shared with the people out of view, but being looked at. It's as if they're saying, 'This is funny isn't it, you're laughing with me!' Along with a jocular nudge in the ribs.

Here, however is footage of the shameful episode: PM Abbott likens Opposition Leader Shorten to Dr Goebbels and some further information (here).

How did it get to the stage that a comment likening the leader of the opposition to one of the most vile men and regimes in modern history, is treated as a joke, a source of humour, supported and encouraged by those members of parliament we're able to see?

Not only is the pm not sanctioned by the speaker, those who've rightly objected are evicted. I know parliament rarely seems to be a place of measured, insightful, mature or wise discussion, however imho, this piece of footage could be used to highlight so much that is unhealthy about Australian politics. Highly offensive comments and mock apologies, complete with smirking laughter. Anything can be said and laughed off, and it's all fine! It's a joke. No care, no responsibility.

In addition, not only is abbott not cautioned by the speaker, there's no encouragement for him to think before he speaks, no encouragement to contemplate the inappropriateness of the comment. No reminder to take responsibility for his words or actions. No expectation that he could, indeed should behave like an adult (as if there should ever be a need to be reminded when you hold the highest office in the land). In fact it's quite the opposite, we see that an objection results in the demand for the objector to leave.

Without some call to reflect, as a mature adult would, or to be responsible, there is precious little for the viewing public to respect. No wonder so many people have turned off, disillusioned, disgusted, distressed at how low our highly paid parliamentarians have stooped. Employed to represent us, with the hope that the country will be wisely governed and cared for, they are instead acting more like a feral year 9 class where students vie to outdo each other with raucous, irresponsible behaviour, and foul comments.


I'd love someone to assure me that the toxicity in parliament can't get any worse, but I'm not sure I'd believe them.


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Budget grumbles -1. Media

It's Interesting that after the disastrous budget, the Murdoch media is currently working overtime to vilify students and disability pensioners, and whilst it makes a welcome change from the prejudice directed towards asylum seekers and the lies surrounding their issues, it's no less repugnant. They are however providing a wonderfully rich resource for teachers, particularly those working with English, clear thinking, logic, media and even maths students. 

The ferals are revolting! 

There is no room for misunderstanding the reaction expected of the reader, who is now primed to agree and demonise those who are protesting, without having any idea who they are or what they're protesting about.

The Daily Telegraph directs us to focus on a small group of presumably angry protesters and a prominent policeman. Did the photographer or some other person encourage the people to point dramatically? Is the policeman placed there to remind us that ferals need to be kept in their place? A quiet, orderly protest isn't nearly as dramatic as one with "action". 

One wonders how the picture has been cropped. Who was to the right of the person in purple? Was it someone older who’d benefitted from the free education enjoyed by many of the Prime Ministers generation and who believes that a well resourced and equitable education system, available to the whole population, makes for a strong and vibrant society? Was it a man under 30 living in an area of high unemployment, wondering how he'll support his family if he's laid off. 6 months without unemployment benefits is a long time. What has been cropped is just as important as what has been highlighted.

The huge headline LIVING ON EASY STREET is dramatically placed under the action shot of people pointing.  A cursory glance would imply that living on easy street refers to those vile and scary 'ferals' - it doesn't, and is completely unrelated. Nothing about the disastrous poll, nothing prominent about the diverse and valid reasons for the protests. No insight provided for curious readers.

In contrast, note the almost sombre tone of the Sydney Morning Herald where poll results are placed prominently, reflecting the strong and angry reaction by ordinary, everyday Australians to the budget. Further information is provided for those choosing to delve further. 

Everyday Australians targeted
For some details about how ordinary, everyday Australians, our neighbours, and others in our communities will be affected by this unfair budget look here. There you'll find some of the figures that which are usually shared openly on budget night. 

More than one third of the budget cuts - $6 billion - fall on the middle quintile of households, earning $45,000 to $63,000. 

■ Families with school-age children are the hardest hit. Across all income groups, they will lose $15.9 billion over four years, more than 90 per cent of the total. 

■ Low and middle-income sole parents suffer worst of all, losing between 10 and 15 per cent of their annual income - $4000 to $6250 - on family earnings of less than $60,000 by the time the changes to welfare take full effect in 2017-18. 

■ The burden rises sharply for families with children over the four years of the budget. For example, a sole parent earning $60,000 with children aged eight and 12 will lose $1808 in annual income in 2014-15 and $6278 in 2017-18. 

Low- and middle-income earners, especially those with school-age children, are hit hardest as the family tax benefit for single-income families is abolished and indexation is curbed. 

And that's fair? To target low and middle income earners yet not the wealthy?

...

The Daily Telegraph ran a front-page story about there being more people on disability in NSW than died during the World Wars. 

In what way is this relevant? In what sad world is encouraging readers to further marginalise and sneer at disability pensioners, rather than show compassion and understanding  considered acceptable?

Apart from them apparently running the same divisive line a few years ago, they chose a picture of a long queue of people appearing to line up to receive their disability payments. Placed carefully next to a picture of diggers we're encouraged to agree - Diggers did it tough. They suffered. Disability pensioners aren't as worthy as them. 

It turns out this photo is a fairly common piece of royalty-free stock imagery. A Google image search finds this and this and this. It's not related to real Australians on pensions.

But it's too easy to just cruelly vilify those on disability support, and imply that they're bludgers rather than give accurate, reasoned and intelligent insight into the real issues. There's a more thorough assessment here.

This kind of manipulation appears designed to influence and deflect the anger so many feel against the cruel budget. It's a blatant attempt to discredit our fellow citizens who have genuine concerns about how they'll manage with a variety of cuts and persistently increasing costs. These tactics target those least able to respond, and look like a smelly smokescreen to take people's minds off the real issues of inequity, unfairness and a wider gap between the have's and have not's that will be the outcome of the budget . 

AXE THE TAX

Is everybody really being asked to help with the heavy lifting?

Who isn't being supported by this budget? What happened to the end of the age of entitlement?

Is the government able to maturely handle the anger directed at them in response to their unfair budget? Do they need the Murdoch press to shield them by pointing the manipulative finger of outrage towards those negatively affected? (rhetorical question) 

When mining companies were threatened with a fair tax, they used their extraordinary financial resources and complained loud and long. Why is it ok for exceptionally profitable, multinational mining companies to protest, yet not ordinary Australian citizens? Is anyone in government able to explain, without resorting to predetermined cliches, why those least able to pay are being hit hardest, while those most able are barely touched? (another rhetorical question)

to be continued... here Budget Grumbles 2. Education and unemployment.

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International Students - targets for bullies and sexual predators.

International students can have an extremely difficult time when studying overseas. There are often issues of painful, sometimes debilitating homesickness, insecurity, confusion and loss.

They can feel resented by the local students and may in turn feel resentful. There are challenges in understanding the nuances of lectures presented in rapid-fire English, and local idiom can be a minefield for those who learnt a very formal version of The Queen’s English. There can be difficulties finding part time work and not understanding the local culture, businesses and expectations.

In their home country, the international student can be confident, capable and resilient.  Navigating and adapting to new experiences and cultural mores without the support of their family and friends can result in the student feeling overwhelmed. The initial excitement and anticipation of studying overseas can develop into realising they need extra support.

In comparison, local students can appear confident with their studies and quite relaxed with members of staff. There may be an appearance of easy informality which is at odds with the respect and compliance towards authority figures at home. Apparently casual relationships at work or at their college can make it difficult for the international student to be alert to, and aware of, inappropriate behaviour by a more powerful person.

These challenges can result in some students being vulnerable to being targeted by various types of bullies, but particularly by sexual predators. The student is confused, lost and alone, and a kind, understanding person who appears to be offering support, local knowledge, warmth, friendship and help seems very welcome. 

The goal of sexual predators is to gain the trust of their target in very gradual, apparently safe and inoffensive stages. Every move the predator initially makes may appear normal, but is in fact calculated so that the target becomes increasingly trusting, familiar, comfortable and reliant on the person. If you express doubts or concerns these will be dismissed as worrying too much, being silly, or an over-reaction. Early meetings are designed to calm and allay any suspicion of inappropriate behaviour, but in reality the predator's goal is to manipulate and control.

Signs of inappropriate behaviour
A student or employee shouldn’t meet their manager, teacher or lecturer on the weekend. When you’re lonely, the attraction of going out with someone who “knows the ropes” and offers to take you for coffee and perhaps to an art show could be attractive, however the blurring of boundaries between professional and private life should always be discouraged.

I’ll repeat that, because it’s so important. It is never acceptable for a lecturer, teacher, counsellor or boss to invite you out. There may be meetings where the whole class or team is involved, that's fine. One on one? Never. Interactions between the authority figure and student should always be strictly professional and formal.  

Employees of an organisation should never give you their private business card or encourage you to contact them after hours. There are accepted professional boundaries which have been established for everyone’s safety. Advertising a private business on company time is not allowed. A reputable employee won’t do this.

A teacher or manager shouldn’t touch you and will appologise if this happens unintentionally. There should be professional physical and emotional distance between a person in authority such as teacher and student, or manager and employee.

If you happen to be looking at detailed information on a computer screen this will be arranged so you’re not physically touching. Your knees and hands won’t touch, “accidentally on purpose” and if they do, you won’t be made to feel foolish for complaining or drawing attention to the fact that this is not appropriate. It’s not to be expected, it’s not acceptable and any concern you express should be respected.

If you feel uncomfortable, your discomfort should be taken seriously. You shouldn’t be told you’ve mistaken the intention or have your unease minimised or dismissed. You shouldn't be made to feel confused or be blamed for feeling uncomfortable.  

In an appropriate professional relationship, sexual comments won’t be made, photos of a sexual nature won’t be shown or referred to and there should be no suggestion of being involved in spending time viewing nude art even if that includes attending a reputable art gallery. If this has happened to you, let someone know, perhaps a teacher or co-worker. To clarify, if you’re enrolled in an art class, and the entire group attends an art show as an integral part of the course, that’s acceptable. Being alone with a person in authority or even with one other person in an out of hours situation; no. 

Inappropriate sexual behaviour of this nature is against organisational rules of conduct, and is illegal. Doctors and psychologists can be de-registered if found guilty of misconduct of this nature.

Unfortunately, some counsellors and career counsellors aren't formally registered and choose to disregard accepted standards of professional conduct. 

When you’re lonely and far from home, when you’re unsure of the roles and expectations in your new environment and are comforted by a smiling, reassuring, confident person who makes you feel special, who knows some of your personal details and who offers support and friendship such as coffee and an outing, or visits to shows where there may be nudity, be very wary and concerned. If it appears too good to be true, it probably is too good to be true, and down the line, there could be a distressing cost. 

Sexual predators make friends with people who feel vulnerable, and who don't have a strong support network.  They'll begin by nurturing a relationship which will feel good, reassuring and safe.  Unlike a genuine friendship, the relationship with a predator will slowly change.  You'll start to feel uncomfortable when exposed to inappropriate material and suggestions, and you'll begin to feel emotionally manipulated although his explanations may still appear innocent and plausible. Eventually, there may be overt or subtle blackmail, and your emotions won’t be respected when you try to assert yourself. 

When the boundaries between professional and private life have been blurred by the dominant person, you are unlikely to  have the skills to deal with the experience alone especially if the person is a serial predator. The predator will try to normalise the behaviour and allay your concerns, however there is no excuse for unprofessional conduct and the sooner you seek help, the better.

If you're concerned that you may be the target of a sexual predator at work, at your place of worship or where you're studying, seek help. Talk to other students, teachers, the student union. A discussion with your doctor or a private counsellor who has experience in these issues will be confidential, and there is no shame in seeking help.  Your experiences should be validated and you won't be blamed for what has happened. In many cases, the sexual predator will have a history of similar complaints, possibly going back many years.

The counsellor will give you skills in how to manage the situation and offer ongoing support. If there have been other complaints about a particular person in the organisation, you may be asked for a statement to add to a file of evidence. The best way for these predators to be stopped is to gather evidence from those who've been preyed on. When you talk to someone in authority the pattern of behaviour can be identified over time and action can be taken.

You can feel overwhelmed, alone and crushed by the experience of being targeted by a sexual predator. Seeking help from someone experienced in the area is vital.

...........
David Yamada, who presents excellent information about workplace bullying over at Minding the Workplace, has posted about bullying and sexual harassment of students and cites a study about this resulting in increased alcohol consumption.

There's a bit more on the patterns investigators into bullying and harassment look for here: http://traverselife.blogspot.com.au/2011/04/y-you-can-do-something-if-youre-being.html

Other reasons you might be a target:
http://traverselife.blogspot.com.au/2011/04/w-why-me-personal-and-professional.html.

The serial bully: http://traverselife.blogspot.com.au/2011/04/u-underestimate-unrelenting-workplace.html

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Posted by Sue Travers

Book review: “Working with Bitches: Identify the Eight Types of Office Mean Girls and Rise Above Workplace Nastiness” by Meredith Fuller

US edition available 2013!

If you've never worked with a bitch, it's hard to understand the anguish it can bring day after long day, week after long week. It's almost impossible to imagine the impact it can have on every aspect of your life; sleeping can be disrupted while you churn over the day, eating can be problematic and leisure time eroded with the ongoing distress of belittling, malicious and downright nasty behaviour. Frustration, self doubt, anger, confusion and exhaustion are words commonly used to attempt to describe the experience. "Working with Bitches" isn't a pop psychology book. It's solidly grounded in theory, knowledge and the experience of working with a diverse range of clients over many years. Meredith Fuller is a loved and respected Melbourne psychologist who interviewed a wide range of women for the stories selected, to shed light on different kinds of bitchy behaviour. The stories give a sense of the personal challenges many women face in working with bitches. They are a glimpse into a wide range of unhealthy workplace dynamics - some are harrowing and you wonder how anyone gets away with such appalling behaviour. All the stories are very readable, and I found myself identifying behaviours I'd seen in different workplaces in a new and helpful way. Not only are the behaviours named and clearly identified, but the possible effect of the behaviour on the target is outlined, along with an explanation of why the bitch may behave in a particular way. Equally helpful are realistic suggestions for dealing with the challenging boss or co-worker and practical strategies are presented in a series of 'what to do' lists. Throughout the book are reminders that not all nasty, mean behaviour is bitchy, even though it may appear that way. There could well be other causes, and in addition there may be a need at some stage for deep self reflection as well. The second part of the book delves more deeply into psychological issues and I found I needed to concentrate more carefully. The possible role of fear and archetypes are discussed as well as different communication styles: for instance a preference for either using the head (Thinking) or heart (Feeling) can lead to difficulty with communication. Age related issues are also discussed, with the possibility for difference and misunderstandings explained helpfully. Whilst "Working with Bitches" has been written by a woman, for women who are working with bitches, I'll certainly buy a copy for my son. I believe it'll give him an insight into behaviours that may otherwise have been perplexing or even have gone unnoticed. The sections on communication styles, learning to say no, managing workplace stress, and strategies for deciding whether to stay or leave an unsatisfactory workplace are equally as relevant to him and other men as they are to women in the workforce. Disclaimer: Meredith Fuller was one of my psychology lecturers when I was at college some 25+ years ago. She was inspirational, enthusiastic and knowledgeable. We came into contact again a couple of years back when we were facilitating Myers Briggs Type Inventory (MBTI) workshops with university students. Meredith has included some of my workplace experiences in the book, however I receive no freebies or financial gain from book sales.  My personal interest in, and professional experience of supporting targets of workplace bullying and bitchiness goes back many years.  I am pleased to celebrate Meredith Fuller's hard work and enthusiasm which have led to the publication of this excellent, helpful and readable book. .

P. PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

This post is for the letter P in my series on workplace bullying for the 2011 A-Z Blogging Challenge. This is a repost of the original.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can be described as:

an invisible injury occurring as a result of major traumatic experiences, including violence, harassment, assault, rape, accident, fire, explosion, disaster, or witnessing such events.
(from bullyonline) 

PTSD is a natural emotional reaction to a shocking and disturbing experience which has overwhelmed one's ability to cope. It causes significant impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.

There is growing awareness and acceptance that PTSD can also result from an accumulation of many small, individually non-life-threatening incidents such as being exposed to prolonged and relentlessly abusive bullying. To differentiate, the term "Complex PTSD" is generally used.

The feelings and emotions resulting from serial bullying which are similar to those of PTSD include:

• Avoid discussing or thinking about the events
• Avoid going places that remind the person of the trauma
• Chronic gloominess
• Concentration is shot, often confused
• Catatonic. Some people experience an inability to get out of bed (this is very different to laziness)
• Distress at being asked to recall the events or being around people discussing bullying
• Detached, as if watching others from behind a screen
• Exhaustion which is not relieved by sleep
• Flashbacks may be common, with frequent distressing recollections of the events
• Flight or fight response is on constant alert
• General disinterest in life
• Guilty for being weak
• Hyper-vigilant
• Irritable
• Loss of libido
• Nervy
• Pacing the house at all hours of the night
• Recurrent nightmares - adds to sleep deprivation 
• Snappy
• Startles easily and frequently
• Sleep is disrupted constantly, may have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep
• Unable to find meaning or fun in life
• Vomiting or nausea at mention or discussion of the event

East side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

Here's some information about stress and Recovery from Bullying - learning new patterns of behaviour after having been bullied and Another Step in recovery from bullying, The Making of Happiness (more tips to assist recovery from bullying).

Here tomorrow: Q. Qualities we instill in our children (which make it easier for them to be bullied)

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. 

Minding the Workplace by David Yamada is regularly updated with interesting and useful articles and research, and eBossWatch on facebook links to articles about workplace bullying from around the world.

This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area. 

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, often with an environmental theme.

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A tiny amount of effort can make the world of difference.

Imagine for a moment that you're in a workplace, and there have been a few veiled comments that someone you know, but aren't particularly close to is being bullied. Let's for the moment call her Sheila, but it could as easily be Chip, Ahn, Stephan, Narasimha or Lee.

What's it to you? After all Sheila has friends, you've seen them going for a walk, chatting over lunch and you know they sometimes go out for a drink after work some Fridays.

But Sheila looks dreadful, she seems weighed down and no longer makes witty quips to her friends. The spring has gone from her step and you've heard she no longer goes out for lunchtime walks or to the Pub after work. She has become hesitant, nervous, wary and on edge, sometimes snapping for no apparent reason.

What comes as a surprise to many people is that whilst they know the target of a bully needs support it's rare for that person to be receiving the level of support they desperately need. I'm not referring to assistance from HR or legal options. I'm talking about the little everyday things that help make life bearable, so that the target doesn't feel so dreadfully, painfully alone.

Clearly, something is wrong with Sheila. Perhaps it's more than a temporarily grumpy boss, and she is being systematically hounded, harassed, mobbed or bullied.

But
a) you don't know what to do
b) you think someone else is helping/supporting - she's got lots of friends, right?
c) you think that what you have to offer is too minimal to make a difference

It's so easy to assume that someone else is helping. But there are all sorts of reasons this may not happen: One person may be struggling with their own issues and not notice, another may be concerned that if they're seen to support they will become the next target, and many others think "Surely her closer friends are helping. I'm not really that important to her." (More on this here)

Time and time again, I've had people say to me: "I felt so alone, it's like no-one noticed or cared."

My request to you is to show you care. Never assume the target has allies. The bully regularly has cronies, they can be powerful, nasty, vicious and unrelenting in their subtle and not so subtle undermining ways. The target rarely has the same level of support.

The simplest of things can make all the difference and let the target know they're not alone. In all sorts of unobtrusive ways you can show you care. A "thinking of you" text or email. A stick-it note with a smiley face or amateurish sketch of a bunch of flowers or clown. A kind word. An offer to have a coffee together. An email with a beautiful/inspiring/amusing photo attached. You don't really need to say much or commit to deep involvement. A variety of support is important, and your role may not need to be more than this.

Tactful support is mostly welcome; ask if you're unsure. Remember, you may be the only person to show you care. 

Here's a link to a post describing a situation I've witnessed far too many times - the tell tale signs of abuse and the debilitating suffering and legacy of unrelenting bullying.

Examples of artistic creativity might give the target hope
and remind them there is beauty in the world.

There's more information that could support the target here, here and here, and a book review on "Working with Mean Girls" by Meredith Fuller (which is equally relevant to men!)

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Book review: "Working with Mean Girls" by Meredith Fuller

 - subtitled "Identifying and protecting yourself from workplace nastiness" (This book is sold in the US with the title Working with Bitches and is available as an ebook)

If you've never worked with a bitch, it's hard to understand the anguish it can bring day after long day, week after long week. It's almost impossible to imagine the impact it can have on every aspect of your life, sleeping can be disrupted while you churn over the day, eating can be problematic and leisure time eroded with the ongoing distress of belittling, malicious and downright nasty behaviour. Frustration, self doubt, anger, confusion and exhaustion are words commonly used to attempt to describe the experience.

"Working with Mean Girls" isn't a pop psychology book. It's solidly grounded in theory, knowledge and the experience of working with a diverse range of clients over many years. Meredith Fuller is a loved and respected Melbourne psychologist who interviewed a wide range of women for the stories selected, to shed light on different kinds of bitchy behaviour.

The stories give a sense of the personal challenges many women face in working with bitches. They are a glimpse into a wide range of unhealthy workplace dynamics - some are harrowing and you wonder how anyone gets away with such appalling behaviour. All the stories are very readable, and I found myself identifying behaviours I'd seen in different workplaces in a new and helpful way.

Meredith has identified 8 types of bitches and has named them for their predominant behaviour:

• the Excluder
• the Insecure
• the Toxic
• the Narcissist
• the Screamer
• the Liar
• the Incompetent
• the Not-a-Bitch

Not only are the behaviours named and clearly identified, but the possible effect of the behaviour on the target is outlined, along with an explanation of why the bitch may behave in a particular way. Equally helpful are realistic suggestions for dealing with the challenging boss or co-worker and practical strategies are presented in a series of 'what to do' lists.

Throughout the book are reminders that not all nasty, mean behaviour is bitchy, even though it may appear that way. There could well be other causes, and in addition there may be a need at some stage for deep self reflection as well.

The second part of the book delves more deeply into psychological issues and I found I needed to concentrate more carefully. The possible role of fear and archetypes are discussed as well as different communication styles: for instance a preference for either using the head (Thinking) or heart (Feeling) can lead to difficulty with communication.

Age related issues are also discussed, with the possibility for difference and misunderstandings explained helpfully.

Whilst "Working with Mean Girls" has been written by a woman, for women who are working with bitches, I'll certainly buy a copy for my son. I believe it'll give him an insight into behaviours that may otherwise have been perplexing or even have gone unnoticed. The sections on communication styles, learning to say no, managing workplace stress, and strategies for deciding whether to stay or leave an unsatisfactory workplace are equally as relevant to him as they are to women in the workforce.

Link here to a short promotional video for "Working with Mean Girls."

If you are dealing with a bitch at work or are the target of workplace bullying it's often helpful to seek professional support. Practicing some of the suggested strategies with an experienced counsellor can assist in getting the confidence to try new behaviours in the work setting or support you as you change direction.

Meredith Fuller - photo by Jordan Head

Disclaimer: Meredith Fuller was one of my psychology lecturers when I was at college some 25+ years ago. She was inspirational, enthusiastic and knowledgeable. We came into contact again a couple of years back when we were facilitating Myers Briggs Type Inventory (MBTI) workshops with university students. Meredith has included some of my workplace experiences in the book, however I receive no freebies or financial gain from book sales.

My personal interest in, and professional experience of supporting targets of workplace bullying and bitchiness goes back many years.  I was honoured to attend the launch of "Working with Mean Girls" on Feb 18, 2012 and am pleased to celebrate Meredith Fuller's hard work and enthusiasm which have led to the publication of this excellent, helpful and readable book.

Meredith with Andrea McNamara (Penguin publisher)
at the book launch Feb 18 2012.

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The power of words -

 and the effects can last a lifetime.

I would like to give full credit to the artist/author of this powerful, thought provoking shot. If anyone knows where it came from please let me know.

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Would you give your car keys to a stranger?

I was at a barbeque just before Christmas when the conversation got around to phone scams and how each of us manage the calls.

You know the calls I'm referring to. The phone rings and you're greeted by someone with a heavy accent, and it goes along the lines of "Are you (insert name here) of (insert phone number here)?" They may even mention your suburb.

If you've distracted and aren't really paying attention, you might thoughtlessly confirm the details.

The standard spiel continues along the following lines: "I'm calling on behalf of Microsoft to let you know there's been a serious issue reported with your windows programme.  I'm from X company and need to perform an immediate mainteance check to ensure the problem doesn't happen again."

They're full of tech talk and use words designed to bewilder and confuse the average computer user, but most of all they're working hard to make you worried that all is not well with your computer, and are insistent that this needs to be fixed NOW! The caller is insistent, persuasive and convincing.  They use phrases like "corrupt files", "viruses" and "error code".

They create a sense of panic.

Reports of this particular scam have come in from London to Brisbane, New York to Christchurch and most places in-between. Far too many people have been caught on the hop; the figures are sketchy due to many people being too embarrassed to report the theft once they realise they've been taken in by scammers.

from "The Little Black Book of Scams" - Australian Competition & Consumer Commission

They've been gullible, trusting or naive or maybe ill, elderly or confused and followed the instructions thus enabling the scammer to instal viruses and spyware on their computers. The scammers could be using payphones or disposable cell phones, so they're well nigh impossible to catch even if you get a number and report them.  The victim may have paid for 'Life Time Support' by PayPal, credit card, or given bank details, thus enabling accounts to be emptied as they sit and watch.

Each of us sitting round the table had had up to 10 calls a week over a period of a couple of weeks - the calls stop for a while, then start up again. The calls are invasive, irritating and time consuming.

They've been known to leave some people feeling that their privacy has been invaded, and if the scammer has become abusive, people can be left feeling insecure and rattled.  This is the reaction of people who haven't succumbed to the scam.  If you had lost money and thought the scammer could appear at your front door, you'd be sick with fear and apprehension.

The conversation got around to musing if there could be some sort of a link between anger towards Indian students in Melbourne and other Australian cities, and anger about the scam. Could someone with a short fuse, who has perhaps been "got" or who knows someone who has lost money and peace of mind, react physically? Might some people target an unsuspecting student who appears to be of the same ethnicity as the scammer? We have no idea, but it's possible.

We put our heads together to try and come up with some different ways to use the experience as a chance to do something worthwhile. Amongst other things, we decided we wanted to express our concern to the scammer about the possible repercussions to foreign students in Australia as a direct result of their scam.

Being rude - nope.

Appeal to the scammers better nature - no.

"I'm recording you" - a recording could be used as an instructional tape so people know what to listen for. Could be useful.

Putting the phone of speaker so your children can listen - discuss how language can be used to persuade - good!

Tell the caller you're expecting a call from their Embassy to discuss scams. Could work.

Ask them if they believe in Karma - remind them of the repercussions of their actions. Seems to work.

Most recently though, I've decided simply to say "This scam has a direct impact on students living in Australia. Your action makes them unsafe and encourages racism." This seems to work although it needs to be refined so the word scam comes later - strangely they usually hang up when they hear the word scam. I'm probably tempting fate here, but since using that one, the calls have tapered off significantly.

If you have been caught off guard and given the scammer access to your computer: Disconnect immediately, phone your bank to alert them to what's happened and cancel your credit card, and as your bank statements come in, check them carefully. Contact a reputable company, (trusted friends and neighbours are a good source of information) let them know what's happened and they'll remove any malware that's been installed.

How do you manage scammers? Do you hang up immediately, are you rude, do you play along for entertainment value or have you devised a wonderfully creative response?

More information on scams:

• The Microsoft scam page information is here
• Information on how to recognise different kinds of scams is here
• An A-Z of fraud is here
• A Police warning about the above scam is here
• The Little Black Book of Scams can be downloaded for free from the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission here
• ... and I'm sure there are many, many more links and that this is just the tip of a massive scammy iceberg.

The title of this piece came from a forum where someone asked "Would you give your car keys to a stranger? That's the equivalent of what you're doing if you allow a stranger access to your computer."

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The year in review.

Well, that was a challenge!

I've just taken Mitch's suggestion about going through my blog posts from the last 12 months and making a short list of my favourites. His suggestion is to do this to bring some older posts back to life, and to give newer readers some idea about the types of things you write.

Mitch is Mitch Mitchell from I'm Just Sharing. He has lots of quality information about all sorts of things including improving your blog.  He was recently featured on Arlee Bird's Tossing it Out which is where I met him.

I've managed to whittle away, to list 12 13 posts that include some of my favourites. It was a lot harder than I expected and I kept getting distracted, thinking "Did I really write that?" "It's not too bad at all!" (Which I confess is a pretty good feeling!)

I'm going to present them in reverse chronological order simply because that's how I re-read them.

1.  The Great Barrier Reef or to quote from 4 corners "The Great Barrier Grief". I wrote this in response to a TV report on the damage that is being done in and around the Great Barrier Reef by coal seam gas mining and exporting our finite minerals overseas in massive tankers.

2.  Exams. Failure is in the eye of the beholder. I was angry when I wrote this piece. Not at any particular person, but at the world in general. The world that puts immense pressure on students to achieve high grades, and which occasionally leads to tragedy.

3.  Workplace bullying. Behind closed Doors. Angry again. This time a personal reaction to the classroom bullying of two of my relatives. I've been on both sides, I know teaching is really tough, however, bullying by teachers is unacceptable. I've seen it up close and personal, and sadly, it can happen like this in the classroom.

4.  Workplace communication sounds like a bit of a dry topic, but it's fascinating! "If you REALLY..." explores manipulation and offers a perspective on how it can become a habit for some people.

5.  Another one on communication, discussing Teams, games and sport. I'd been reading Susan Haden Elgin's "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work"and was intrigued by the notion of 'games' themes and terminology in the workplace. Something to explore further another time I think!

6.  Do you bully yourself? is something I'd been wanting to write for a while, particularly after spending April presenting Workplace bullying in an A-Z format as part of a blog challenge hosted by Arlee Bird.

(The link to the 2012 Challenge is in the sidebar to the right). Here's the link to my A-Z posts on Workplace Bullying. It's a bit long and rambling. You can tell I was blogged out -  it was a rather intense month.

7.  Random acts of kindness is a brief to the point post - it was enjoyable to write and revisit.

8.  Another step, recovering from bullying Recovery after being the target of serial bullying can be a lifelong process. This is one tool that can help. I felt it was important to balance the equation after spending April exploring bullying tactics.

9.  Recovery from bullying - learning new patterns. If you've been bullied, I believe it's important to be proactive and arm yourself with new behaviours. Here's another idea to assist.

10.  I'd never written a book review, and having read so many, decided to try my hand. It was an interesting exercise for an outstanding book. An Extraordinary Year of Ordinary Days by Susan Wittig Albert.

11.  I hadn't heard about Drabbles until I came across Burrowers Books and Balderdash, (here) but having tried it out, I became addicted. The discipline of saying what I want in 100 words is good! (I spent April over at jumping aground writing alliterative drabbles. Yup, drabbling is great). This one, on young workers was included in the Burrow February Valentine feature.

12.  Have you heard about The Red Light Flashing?  Sometimes, something in us seems to sense that all is not right with an apparently attractive course of action. In this piece I attempt to explain without the benefit of waving my arms around to illustrate a point.

13.  Another Drabble, Pole Star. I said I liked writing them! This one was featured in the Burrowers Books and Balderdash, December Advent Calendar in 2010. My take on the photo prompt wasn't a Christmas theme, but the words demanded to be written - I didn't think overly about it, just wrote. I'm still pleased with the result, but sad that nothing has changed.


So, there you have it. There were some posts that I re-read and thought, "Hmm, that could do with a bit of a tidy up" but on the whole, they weren't too bad. If you haven't spent time reviewing your own posts, I'd recommend the exercise. It's easy to forget what you've written (or is that only me?) and I found it encouraging to see a general improvement in my writing.

Graffiti on a wall in Melbourne

cheers

Sue

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The pain of bullying up close

I've written and deleted, and written and deleted, but my words aren't adequate, so I'll take away my megaphone and soapbox and go and calm down.

What would you say to Jonah?
What would he hear?
What would you say to the perpetrators and onlookers?
What would they hear?
What would you say to the adults around?
What would they hear?
Can any words help?

Follow the money trail and you find ...

*Alliterative drabble for the letter D,  re-posted from the 2011 A-Z Blogging Challenge at jumpingaground.  (edited)

Hundreds of distinguished scientists drown us in detailed data describing the devastation that will dampen our spirits due to our voracious determination to drill for oil continuously and use all the dark coal completely 'till it disappears forever.

Those with vested interests delve deviously to detect a difference of opinion, then jeer delightedly and defame the dedicated scientists calling them dreary, deranged and deluded. They are determined to make a dramatic beat up and decide to discredit the danger. 

Oh dear; ruthless dealers, dumping on the deeply knowledgeable. 

Dangerously deluded politicians also choose to ignore our Earth’s degeneration.

Dollars dominate.

We need all the help we can get.

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A Drabble is a story told in 100 words. No more, no less.

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