Showing posts with label grumpiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grumpiness. Show all posts

Friday, 25 May 2012

The Little Red Hen. A tale for modern times.

An allegorical folk tale about the valuable lesson of teamwork - revamped for modern times.

Inspired by Estonia's President, Toomas Hendrik Ilves, "I'll gladly Pay you Tuesday" here

The Little RED HEN - revisited.
Once upon a time there were some little hens. They lived outside a farm on their own, subject to the rigours of supplying all their own needs in an unpredictable and sometimes hostile world. They were alone. Sometimes they were afraid.

One day the farmer approached them and invited them to come inside the farmyard fences. In there they’d have the benefit of the experience and contacts of all the other farmyard animals. Life would be secure and good. Together they could do wondrous things. Everyone would benefit!

The little hens were allocated a corner of the farmyard, and they were content. They were united with all the other farmyard animals; horses, cows, pigs, ducks and geese, each with their own part of the farmyard to tend.

The farmer presented the little hens with the rules of the farmyard. The rules were clear, the rules were fair. Everyone would benefit!

The little hens read the rules, they understood the rules, they accepted and followed the rules. And life was good.

Eggs were laid, and chickens were hatched to the little hens. The chickens were taught by the farmer to abide by the rules, to live within their means to work with the skills and resources they had. And life was good.

The little hens and their chickens scratched the soil, they tilled the soil, they harvested the produce. They worked hard; they were careful. The little hens wrinkled their little brows over the accounts late at night, by thrifty candlelight, after a hard day's work. There was little waste and just about enough for all the hens and the little chickens – just like the farmer had promised. They trusted the other farmyard animals to do the same, to follow the rules so all would benefit. Surely life was good?

The little hens and their chicks appreciated the farmyard. They enjoyed the benefits of belonging to the farm. They were secure. But a storm appeared, brewing menacingly on the horizon. The farmer came to the hens and their chickens to ask for help. For the good of all.

The larger animals who had been at the farm longer than the little hens and their little chicks had asked the farmer to help them out. They couldn't seem to manage their plots of land or their accounts. They never seemed to have enough to go round. The horses, the cows, the pigs and ducks and geese complained loudly to anyone who would listen that they were being treated unfairly and that life was harsh and unjust. They needed someone like the little hens and their chicks to support them. A lot.

The little hens were confused; surely the horses, the cows, the pigs and ducks and geese had worked as hard as the little hens and their chickens, scrimping and saving for the good of all? Surely they had lived within their means and hadn’t become lazy and greedy? Did the other farmyard animals expect to have more than the little hens and their chickens?

The little chickens saw the benefit of belonging to the farm. They agreed to let the horses, the cows, the pigs and ducks and geese have some of the goods they’d worked so hard to produce. For the good of all, for the unity of the farm. But they were not happy.

The chickens who had played at the homes of the foals, the calves, the piglets, the ducklings and goslings had seen a land of plenty, had seen rules being flouted. Had seen farm animals better off than themselves and their families. And they didn’t understand why they were being asked by the farmer to support those with more than themselves.

And the little chickens became resltess.

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Thursday, 12 April 2012

Climate Matters. K is for out of Kilter

This is for K in the A-Z blogging challenge 2012. Link in the sidebar.


Many of us are acutely aware that the world as we've known it is changing. It's evident in the unsettled climate and unpredictable, extreme weather systems which are out of kilter leaving many of us feeling acutely uncomfortable.

For the past 40 or so years, we've focused on working excessively long hours, maybe at jobs we don't particularly like, commuting long distances in heavy peak hour traffic, negotiating aggressive, abusive drivers, becoming tense and irritable not only with ourselves but with our frazzled time poor families. Trucks, noise and fumes assault our senses while we mindlessly scoff sugary snacks simply to get us through the stress and as a "treat" for surviving. Out of kilter indeed.

The words temperance and moderation are considered old fashioned, as we've been encouraged to consume more and more at a faster and faster pace, forcing us to work crazy hours a two or three jobs simply to make repayments on "essential" goods we often have little time to enjoy. Houses large enough to double as a boutique hotel are considered normal, purchased with borrowed money and astronomical repayments that can feel more like a stifling life sentence.

Some of my male clients confess that they're empty inside, life feels futile and pointless, yet they appear to have "everything". It's often only when their marriage falls apart that they stop and question the vortex they've become caught in.

It can be confronting to realise that the lifestyle we've fallen into isn't meeting our fundamental human needs: happiness, time for relaxation, and making space and time to feed ourselves with wholesome food and nurture ourselves and those we love.

Many of my clients say they've forgotten what it's like to slow down and just be...
  • that they're not sure who they'll find
  • if there's anyone even there any more
  • that they don't know who they are
  • what they want
  • what they believe in
  • and whose values they're following anyway
  • and when they stop they feel empty, unsure, afraid - so it's easier not to stop 
  • like they've sold their soul and are feeding an addiction that they weren't aware they had 
This out of kilter habit can be broken, and whilst it might initially seem outrageous, a complete break to take stock and visit or revisit your values alone, then with your partner can be be a first step in looking at what makes a rich, full and meaningful life for you.

It's generally not something we do when we're young and may have fallen into a job without examining what it is that we value in life. We may have plodded along for years feeling vaguely dissatisfied and frustrated. Sometimes it's only when crap happens that we're confronted with the need to question and perhaps change unhealthy patterns.

Often in the act of stopping, sharing and reflecting, a new way of thinking is permitted to grow. You might choose to attend a class on sustainable living, learn to cook your own fast, nourishing foods, explore a long ignored desire to learn a language, or enrol in further study for your career.  All of these things feed into our capacity as humans to be creative learners, to be revitalised and to adapt better to a changing world. We become more flexible, less rigid, more independent and enthusiastic and less willing to follow the advertising machine blindly and without question.

In the process, some people decide that having less will actually lead them to have more. They realise there is a choice and choose to downsize and make purchases mindfully.

We've become so accustomed to being out of kilter living at breakneck speed, that it's easy to forget that having an enormous mortgage, constant pressure and irritability isn't written into our DNA. It doesn't have to be the blueprint for the future.
Borrowed money can feel like a crushing burden.
What single step will you take today in the direction of your preferred future?

Last year I wrote about the Known triggers for bullying for K in my theme of workplace bullying. Here.
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Wednesday, 14 December 2011

The year in review.

Well, that was a challenge!

I've just taken Mitch's suggestion about going through my blog posts from the last 12 months and making a short list of my favourites. His suggestion is to do this to bring some older posts back to life, and to give newer readers some idea about the types of things you write.

Mitch is Mitch Mitchell from I'm Just Sharing. He has lots of quality information about all sorts of things including improving your blog.  He was recently featured on Arlee Bird's Tossing it Out which is where I met him.

I've managed to whittle away, to list 12 13 posts that include some of my favourites. It was a lot harder than I expected and I kept getting distracted, thinking "Did I really write that?" "It's not too bad at all!" (Which I confess is a pretty good feeling!)

I'm going to present them in reverse chronological order simply because that's how I re-read them.

1.  The Great Barrier Reef or to quote from 4 corners "The Great Barrier Grief". I wrote this in response to a TV report on the damage that is being done in and around the Great Barrier Reef by coal seam gas mining and exporting our finite minerals overseas in massive tankers.

2.  Exams. Failure is in the eye of the beholder. I was angry when I wrote this piece. Not at any particular person, but at the world in general. The world that puts immense pressure on students to achieve high grades, and which occasionally leads to tragedy.

3.  Workplace bullying. Behind closed Doors. Angry again. This time a personal reaction to the classroom bullying of two of my relatives. I've been on both sides, I know teaching is really tough, however, bullying by teachers is unacceptable. I've seen it up close and personal, and sadly, it can happen like this in the classroom.

4.  Workplace communication sounds like a bit of a dry topic, but it's fascinating! "If you REALLY..." explores manipulation and offers a perspective on how it can become a habit for some people.

5.  Another one on communication, discussing Teams, games and sport. I'd been reading Susan Haden Elgin's "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work"and was intrigued by the notion of 'games' themes and terminology in the workplace. Something to explore further another time I think!

6.  Do you bully yourself? is something I'd been wanting to write for a while, particularly after spending April presenting Workplace bullying in an A-Z format as part of a blog challenge hosted by Arlee Bird.

(The link to the 2012 Challenge is in the sidebar to the right). Here's the link to my A-Z posts on Workplace Bullying. It's a bit long and rambling. You can tell I was blogged out -  it was a rather intense month.

7.  Random acts of kindness is a brief to the point post - it was enjoyable to write and revisit.

8.  Another step, recovering from bullying Recovery after being the target of serial bullying can be a lifelong process. This is one tool that can help. I felt it was important to balance the equation after spending April exploring bullying tactics.

9.  Recovery from bullying - learning new patterns. If you've been bullied, I believe it's important to be proactive and arm yourself with new behaviours. Here's another idea to assist.

10.  I'd never written a book review, and having read so many, decided to try my hand. It was an interesting exercise for an outstanding book. An Extraordinary Year of Ordinary Days by Susan Wittig Albert.

11.  I hadn't heard about Drabbles until I came across Burrowers Books and Balderdash, (here) but having tried it out, I became addicted. The discipline of saying what I want in 100 words is good! (I spent April over at jumping aground writing alliterative drabbles. Yup, drabbling is great). This one, on young workers was included in the Burrow February Valentine feature.

12.  Have you heard about The Red Light Flashing?  Sometimes, something in us seems to sense that all is not right with an apparently attractive course of action. In this piece I attempt to explain without the benefit of waving my arms around to illustrate a point.

13.  Another Drabble, Pole Star. I said I liked writing them! This one was featured in the Burrowers Books and Balderdash, December Advent Calendar in 2010. My take on the photo prompt wasn't a Christmas theme, but the words demanded to be written - I didn't think overly about it, just wrote. I'm still pleased with the result, but sad that nothing has changed.


So, there you have it. There were some posts that I re-read and thought, "Hmm, that could do with a bit of a tidy up" but on the whole, they weren't too bad. If you haven't spent time reviewing your own posts, I'd recommend the exercise. It's easy to forget what you've written (or is that only me?) and I found it encouraging to see a general improvement in my writing.
Graffiti on a wall in Melbourne

cheers

Sue
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Tuesday, 19 April 2011

P. PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Workplace bullying.

This post is one in a series on workplace bullying for the 2012 A-Z Blogging challenge.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can be described as:
an invisible injury occurring as a result of major traumatic experiences, including violence, harassment, assault, rape, accident, fire, explosion, disaster, or witnessing such events.
(from bullyonline) 
PTSD is a natural emotional reaction to a shocking and disturbing experience which has overwhelmed one's ability to cope. It causes significant impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.

There is growing awareness and acceptance that PTSD can also result from an accumulation of many small, individually non-life-threatening incidents such as being exposed to prolonged and relentlessly abusive bullying. To differentiate, the term "Complex PTSD" is generally used.

The feelings and emotions resulting from serial bullying which are similar to those of PTSD include:
  • Avoid discussing or thinking about the events
  • Avoid going places that remind the person of the trauma
  • Chronic gloominess
  • Concentration is shot, often confused
  • Catatonic. Some people experience an inability to get out of bed (this is very different to laziness)
  • Distress at being asked to recall the events or being around people discussing bullying
  • Detached, as if watching others from behind a screen
  • Exhaustion which is not relieved by sleep
  • Flashbacks may be common, with frequent distressing recollections of the events
  • Flight or fight response is on constant alert
  • General disinterest in life
  • Guilty for being weak
  • Hyper-vigilant
  • Irritable
  • Loss of libido
  • Nervy
  • Pacing the house at all hours of the night
  • Recurrent nightmares - adds to sleep deprivation 
  • Snappy
  • Startles easily and frequently
  • Sleep is disrupted constantly, may have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep
  • Unable to find meaning or fun in life
  • Vomiting or nausea at mention or discussion of the event
East side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.
Click here for information about stress.

Here tomorrow: Q. Qualities we instill in our children (which make it easier for them to be bullied)


There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line

Minding the Workplace by David Yamada is regularly updated with interesting and useful articles and research, and eBossWatch on facebook links to articles about workplace bullying from around the world.

This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area. 

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, often with an environmental theme.
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Sunday, 14 November 2010

Mindfulness

I've woken up this morning with my eyes puffy and sore; it looks like I'll need to try a new hay fever medication. I stopped taking horseradish and garlic last year when I got up to needing 15+ per day to stop the sneezing and itchiness. So I'm trying the pharmacy stuff, which so far had been pretty good. But today my left eye is horribly itchy and red and not focusing properly. Sigh. I figured that fresh flowers always lift my spirits so went out and cut some gorgeously fragrant roses all wet with the rain. Why do earwigs love getting between the petals? There's dozens of them scurrying around busily trying to hide from my flicking fingers, so I  tried to shake them off only to have the delicate petals cascade around me like the shredded paper waiting to be composted.  Sigh. Perhaps I'd better put the secateurs down before I drop them on my toes.  And why does spell check tell me I've spelt secateurs wrong? The only option it's giving me is sectors, and that's not what you cut rose stems with is it. In all, I'm feeling a bit out of sorts. Quite grumpy in fact. And my tea went cold. Again. Sigh. I wonder if it's ok to microwave it for the third time?

Perhaps I'll take a photo of the roses and put it in here so it's in front of me. And no, I'm not going to be tempted to put them in the vase anywhere near my computer. Even though they'd smell beautiful. I can just see where that'd lead :(

Grumpy sigh.

Hmm, that was interesting.




This photo didn't do anything for me at all ....





But this one did.

By stepping back a bit and tweaking a couple of dust collectors, it worked :)

Good, strong symbols of challenges overcome. 

A small blue "Nessie" made by a cousin in Uig on the Isle of Skye: family difficulties faced squarely and courageously - yes that's encouraging.

A little bear from Berlin, doing a handstand - whimsical - fun. But also representing so much more - a country divided, reunited. Anguish and heartache. So much achieved, so much further to go - it can be done.

A small Asian figurine: Probably Japanese, but to me representing the courage of the Chinese populace struggling to achieve a greater level of transparency and democracy in their government. Huge challenges, chipping away, confronting massive obstacles, prepared to risk their own safety for the benefit of others.

The grasses: clifftop walks, (hay-fever free) - companionship and love.

Good stuff.

Interesting how my mood is lightening.


And lastly because I got sidetracked when I was uploading the photos: The Young Endeavour, recently moored off our local beach.
Teenagers and young adults overcoming fears, and really pushing themselves beyond what they thought was possible. Laughing, happy and so proud when we got chatting to them and offered to take a group photo. The Bay, tranquil, clear, ozone rich. I breathe deeply just looking at the photo.

Hmmm. In my grumpy state, I'd overlooked the power of Mindfulness Meditation in its various guises.

It's a good reminder to just stop and be. Breathe calmly, slowly and deeply.

My physical symptoms are the same, but my mood is so different.


Sigh of contentment :)

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Friday, 27 August 2010

On the importance of Mental Health Days


Oh dearie me. there are times when I really don't want to get up and go to work. I'm really good with premonitions. It's sunday evening and I already know that I won't want to get up tomorrow morning!


It's not that I don't enjoy work hugely when I'm there. I genuinely love time spent with my clients in the assorted workplaces I've nestled in. I know I'm very fortunate to have satisfaction and variety in my worklife. But when it's cold, wet and windy, and I know the traffic is going to be heavy and aggressively unforgiving, I tend to become a bit sluggish and niggly, even the night before.

It's tough having the kind of cold feet that woolly socks can't cure. When you drag yourself off to your place of employment feeling resentful and grumpy. Sometimes it's possible to use your favourite defusion technique to overcome this, to accept the dreary feelings and make room for them, but when it doesn't work...bah. (And for stay at home mums, the challenge is even greater. How can you escape?)

One friend confessed recently that she became so grouchy at work one day that she feigned a headache: "oooooaaah I feel a migraine coming on" and scarpered. Much better than snapping unreasonably at ones colleagues don't you think?

We all know what it's like to have a snitchy or deeply unhappy colleague in the office. Unfortunately, the grouchiness can rub off. It can be caught, and passed on like the virulent virus it is.

In response, I'd like to promote the occasional "mental health day" as a buffer for when the doldrums strike. I think we all need a bit of space sometimes. When the pressure is off, and we can kick the expectations aside, shrug off the constraints and commune with our informal selves... of course when one 'ought' to be at work, it's all the sweeter ;-)

FYI: No work commitments were avoided to write this post. I picked the violets under leaden sky, between squalls and icy gusts of wind.

Their glorious fragrance has transformed my mood.