A-Z Blogging Challenge. Reflections

What a journey, what a month.

Firstly a humungous thankyou to Arlee at Tossing it Out and his very able crew for hosting. It's been a massive job for you all, and I appreciate the time and energy that you've all put into this event.

Congratulations, well done!

What I've learnt:
Most importantly, don't tackle two blogs in the A-Z Blogging challenge without preparation! It wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. It was utterly exhausting, demanding, draining and I'd never recommend it - ever - to anyone who has an ounce of common sense.

I'd seen the buttons around the blogosphere and wondered what the A-Z challenge was about and thought it looked like fun, so entered my 'for me' blog - jumpingaground - that was all fine and good. Then, on March 31st  I had a rush of blood to my head and decided at that late stage to enter my more formal blog. That's plain crazy!

One entry? No worries.
Drabbles? Fine.
Two entries? Insane!

The alliterative Drabbles were fun to write over at jumpingaground , although I found it hard to turn off once I got on a roll. All stories are based on real people and events except Yolanda and her yellow yacht. Many are environment or climate related, others are to do with learning difficulties.

I suspect the idea of writing about bullying had been floating around in my head, lurking, just waiting for an opportunity like this. The structure worked for me. I think if I'd been left to my own devices I wouldn't have attempted it at all or I would have drifted and dithered, with a bit here and a bit there. A-Z provided the scaffolding I needed to do it in one hit.

My list of A-Z Workplace Bullying posts is here.

Before I started, I had no idea how long each post would take. I spent 1/2 a day getting a vague outline together to make sure I would have something for each letter, realised I had something sort of workable, and plunged in. I hadn't anticipated each post would then take many many hours, revising, rewording, checking for accuracy, editing and adding pictures. Some are a bit long, but that's the way they are.

I'm tenacious. This is not good if you're being bullied. It could be possible to hang on and try to make something work when it's destined not to. But for a blogging challenge it's invaluable!

I'll try to remember never to post a comment when I've had a glass or two of wine. It's not good. Now you know why some of those comments were, erm not so clearly written. 

It would have been difficult to have completed the posts without the support and input from other bloggers. Each and every comment helped me get through. This topic isn't fun or popular or sexy - to read or to write. Your comments were, and still are, welcomed and cherished.

Why tackle workplace bullying?  I hope these posts might be a resource beyond this challenge. I'm horrified at the prevalence of ongoing bullying in workplaces. As a Career Development Professional, my clients tell me what happens in supposedly reputable organisations. The people I work with are honest, ethical, have strong morals and act with integrity. Too many workplaces don't value those attributes, they chew up employees, take everything they can get, then spit out what's left. I felt my addition to exposing some of the tactics used by bullies was a small something I could do to support others and perhaps shed some light on this appalling behaviour.

Knowledge is power. My aim was to share my knowledge in a hopefully easy to read form to empower others.

What I've learnt about others. People are generous. Of course I knew that, but it's been underlined hugely. People have supported me by encouraging others to read the information, they've forwarded the posts on and have commented in a very positive way. That's what I dreamed might happen. Thanks to everyone who has shared and commented.

What have I learnt about blogging?
Success is just a word. Running the two blogs in tandem was fascinating. jumpingaground went from something like 22 followers to 83, but I don't get many drop in visitors or many hits. Keyword search data is wishy washy at best.  But it's fun, and it's for me!

In comparison, traverselife went from about 22 followers to 52, which in comparison is 'unsuccessful'. Keyword searches however, show clearly what people are looking for, and I get significantly more hits daily but less or no comments. I've had quiet, consistent, steady support for the posts from people within and outside the blogging community. That's rewarding. People who've contacted me have given me a huge boost, It really makes this feel like a strong community pulling together, and is a reassuring feeling of connectedness. Thankyou.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

For me, the month wasn't fun, but it supported my core values and it has been rewarding doing something I truly believe in. I've done the best I can given that it was unplanned and in a sense done on the fly to conform to the challenge guidelines. I'm pleased with the result, and proud I stuck with it. I wouldn't post like that again for a whole month. It took too much out of me. I need a break.

What do I look for in other blogs?
Meatiness, fun, not self indulgent, interesting, challenging without being derogatory or rude.

What next? 
I might do a follow up with something about schools and bullying, add some more links to some good information. Editing needs to happen....drat..... I want to pose the question "Do you bully yourself?" and look at how we're often meaner to ourselves than is healthy. I'm looking forward to eventually writing about the healing process after being bullied. Looking at how we can create rich, full and meaningful lives is something I've wanted to post about, but haven't yet found a structure that feels right. I also want to revisit assertiveness and How to say "No".

Would I recommend this challenge to others? Definitely!

I've just had some insight when I was making a comment on someone else's blog. I went in to this Challenge asking myself what I could GIVE to others. I wasn't focusing on how many followers or comments I could GET.  Hmmm.....

Lastly, I have a newfound respect for everyone who has written a book. How do you do it and stay sane? Characters who wander off and create mayhem, plots that refuse to co-operate - gosh you guys are impressive!

How to make a hyperlink (clicky) signature here

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Z. An A-Z of Workplace bullying- An Incomplete Journey

The areas of Workplace Bullying I've touched on over the past month for the 2011 A-Z April Blogging Challenge hosted by Arlee Bird over at Tossing it Out  include:

A      Angst & Anguish
B      Bullying behaviour - how to recognise it
C      The Courage it takes to stand up to a bully and the Climate in which bullies operate
D      Danger, Depression and Doctors
E       Ethical behaviour
F       Friends, and how important they are to support the bullied person
G      Guilt. The target may feel guilty for being 'weak'
H      Harassment and Health
I        International students and others
J        Journal - The importance of keeping a Journal
K      Known causes of bullying
L       Lies - bullies tell lots of these
M      Mind, Mates & Movement
N      Nurses and other Nice people
O      Obstructive and Outrageous behaviour
P      PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Q      The Qualities we instill in our children
R      The Responsibility to tackle bullying
S       Sociopaths and Serial Bullies
T       Targets and Teachers
U      Underestimate and Unrelenting
V      Vulnerable - the vulnerabilities a bully looks for
W     Why Me? The personal and professional characteristics that make you attractive to a serial bully.
X      The X factor - why some people act with integrity and others go to ground.
Y      You can do something if you're being bullied.
Z       The A-Z of Workplace bullying. The A-Z April Blogging Challenge, 2011.

The focus of these posts was the serial bully in the workplace, however much of the information may be relevant other types of bullying, including:

• abusive, manipulative and violent partners and family members
• abusers of those in care
• bullying neighbours, landlords, authorities
• cruelty to animals
• cult leaders
• child bullies who will evolve into adult bullies
• paedophiles
• racial abusers
• sexual abusers, rapists
• violent offenders
• ...
• ...

Some reflections on the A-Z Challenge
There's so much I haven't touched on, including bullying between tribal or clan groups as we're seeing in the Middle East and human rights abuses throughout the world: Australia, America, Canada, China, Africa, India, we all do it. As societies, we treat people who have different beliefs as lesser human beings. (Think health care reform, religious intolerance, and rational climate discussion in the US and other countries.)

I haven't even touched on how countries such as Australia shamefully bully detainees - those people who used to be called displaced persons after the Second World War. Back then were often greeted with compassion and acknowledgement of the horrific experiences they'd survived, but nowadays similar people are incarcerated behind barbed wire for years as if they're criminals. I haven't looked at bullying between countries for scarce and dwindling natural resources. It's just too big.

Bullying is a huge topic, overwhelming in it's prevalence and complexity through all segments of society in Australia and other countries.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

If I've raised awareness, and helped someone, somewhere, then it's been worthwhile. I'd love to hear from you if something in these posts has supported or encouraged you or someone you know. If there are factual errors, let me know and I'll amend them.

Making Australia Happy was a short TV series which involved reputable health care professionals. The idea was to invite some very unhappy people to follow specific interventions (nothing weird or outlandish) to see if their happiness levels could be improved. Their Happiness Index was measured before, during and after the interventions. It's well worth looking at.  This link to the show includes a further link to the Australian Happiness Index.


How these posts came about
These posts are by no means an exhaustive coverage of Workplace Bullying. I had anticipated writing entertaining Drabbles for the challenge over at jumpingaground, but on March 31st (ie the day before the challenge began) suddenly thought I might be able to do an additional A-Z blogging challenge looking at Workplace Bullying here at traverselife. It wasn't anything I'd consciously planned ahead, although I do have some professional and personal experience.  


The posts were never intended to be academic in tone, but very user friendly with pictures complimenting the words. Each post took many many hours of writing and editing, trying to make them as accessible as possible, but even so I'm well aware many need extensive re-editing. However, I've done it! I doubt I'd have tackled such a big topic if it hadn't been for this challenge and my last minute decision to be involved. 

The Photos
Many of the photos I've used were taken at The East Side Gallery in Berlin in November 2009 as well as around that city. I happened to be in Berlin for the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall and spent hours wandering along, jaw dropped in awe at the extensive, edgy, confronting and fantastic art at the East Side Gallery.  


The idea of the gallery was that it would be an international wall for freedom and encourage discussion about walls and borders.  It's a short section of the Berlin Wall that has been retained and is used as a huge outdoor art gallery, it extends for around 1 kilometre. The art is simply amazing, with artists coming from around the world to contribute. For some of the history of the East Side Gallery see here. Workplace bullying seems to me to be a variation on the theme of walls, borders and obstructions.  

I hope to focus on the healing journey after being bullied and finish with this joyous painting by Terry Denton.

from Terry Denton's book Flying Man.
Terry's TV series "Gasp" has been nominated for an
ANNECY award in France as Best TV series. Good luck Terry! 

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. The FB group eBossWatch is well worth a visit for links to current articles. David Yamada writes excellent posts over at Minding the Workplace and his blog is well worth keeping an eye on.


This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

I'm going to take a break from blogging here for a while after Monday's review, though I'll possibly post some more lighthearted words and photos over at jumping aground. I'll be back with my haphazard non scheduled posts when my brain has recovered. I hope to see those who've become Valued Visitors as well as many of you who've dropped by without commenting. I'll probably focus on assertiveness and healing but if anyone has some ideas, please let me know - no promises, but input is welcome.
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X. The 'X' factor - why some people act with integrity and others don't - Workplace bullying

The 'X' factor

Why some people go to ground and others act with strength integrity and support the target.

Those who so stand up to bullies, whether by surviving the assault, as whistle blowers or by adding evidence to the growing file against the serial bully are showing courage, determination and integrity. Their motives are as varied as the people. Some say "It's wrong, I have no choice" others " I'm not  prepared to compromise my own values and watch this wrongdoing, I don't want to, but it's necessary", others "If I don't do something, who will?" and on workplace sexual predators "I want people like this ousted so my daughters never have to put up with this evil".  One client said "Management have allowed this to go on for over ten years. Most people stay a maximum of a couple of months then leave. I'm going to fight it." Some simply want the world to be a better, more harmonious place.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009

Too few onlookers have the courage and strength to stand up against bullying, harassment and corruption. Many otherwise good people turn a blind eye in the presence of an aggressor, particularly a devious, manipulative and possibly charming one. They may feel vulnerable themselves, and are relieved that they have been spared the trauma and are glad they can sit back and watch the unfolding drama. Some may even feel guilty for being complicit in the charade of protecting a serial bully. To speak out may force them to face their own inadequacies.

Understanding of bullying is improving, but too many uninvolved onlookers still state the target should have been stronger and stood up for themselves. I've often heard the phrase: "if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen", or "that person was so weak they left".

Some colleagues will say "I didn't know what to do" (so they don't do anything) or deny having been present when the bullying occurred. Turning a blind eye is less stressful, and at least it keeps the focus off them. They choose not to see what is happening.

Others will refuse to assist in providing supportive evidence when invited, possibly adding to an "us and them" culture and creating divisions in the department that are may be difficult to heal.  I recently heard the statement: "I was curious to see how the new person would handle x" (x being the department bully) much the same as if this was a bit of a game. This same person enjoyed being an onlooker at school when there were fights, and appeared to get some pleasure from the exchanges.  It reminded me of the descriptions of the Roman Circus where people were fed to the lions in front of thousands of enthusiastic spectators or when watching a hanging was considered a fine form of entertainment.

In instances of sexual predators, some colleagues will try to normalise the bullying attacks as "Oh you must have misunderstood, I'm sure he didn't mean it", or "He's a sad and lonely man, I feel sorry for him"  and by implication you should too. No, a serial bully should be exposed and held to account no matter what prestigious position they hold. Normalising the behaviour encourages the bully to continue unabated and immune from censure. Silence equals consent in the eyes of the bully, and when there is a perceived power differential, they'll use this for their own end, confident that the weaker person will remain silent. Co workers can be a life line for the target.

In environments where the bullying is deeply entrenched, it may be regarded as "normal" behaviour. Where employees have not experienced a genuinely normal work environment, they are conned into believing this is how all workplaces operate. When they eventually leave they express astonishment at how much stress they were under and how they had come to accept the bullying as something that happened in all workplaces.

Unless you have experienced serial bullying yourself, or know someone who has, it may be incomprehensible to understand the level of torment dished out relentlessly and maliciously day after day, month after month. If you're in a workplace where a bully operates, think about what small contribution you could make either to expose the bullying behaviour, or to support the target. Sharing stories, supporting the target, kind words and networking with other like minded people - the smallest effort is so much better than choosing to condone behaviour which is completely unacceptable.

These words on part of the Berlin Wall at the East Side Gallery
are also appropriate in tackling workplace bullying.

Why else do onlookers stand against bullying?

What other support can they give a bullied colleague of friend?

Here tomorrow Y: You. What you can do?

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. eBossWatch on Facebook has links to current articles and discussion. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration.

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S. Sociopaths & serial bullies. Workplace bullying

This is my post for S in the 2011 A-Z blogging challenge. 
Sociopaths
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is the current term used by clinicians to refer to what most of us refer to as sociopaths or psychopaths. The condition is considered in part to be "...a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of the rights of others.”

Some professionals estimate that about 4% of the adult population could exhibit these symptoms. Many never commit crimes, or if they do, they aren’t convicted because of their skill in manipulating superiors and their general deviousness and outstanding ability to lie and twist the truth. Many bullies behave in similar ways to a sociopath.

A sociopath lacks interpersonal, social and empathic skills.  They may be described as being silver tongued; the can learn to talk the talk, but are unable to consistently walk the walk. They will persistently and aggressively deflect attention away from their own failings onto the target/s while appearing to be extremely busy and needed by other departments. (There is a checklist at the bottom of this post.)

Genuine heartfelt empathy is lacking, expressions of remorse, concern or respect are shallow and glib.

Sociopaths learn to reflect traits of empathy,
but the emotion is shallow and fragmented.

Psychopaths 

Whilst the professionals debate the definitions and differences between sociopaths and psychopaths, many non professionals consider that psychopaths are less interested in learning to show compassion and that the sense of feeling inadequate and insecure is lacking. 

Years ago I worked in a teaching facility for difficult teenagers where I heard one boy describe a vicious street fight. He expressed no emotion at all about the victim who was being kicked repeatedly and violently in the head. He described the bloody situation analytically, dispassionately, chillingly, and with apparent pleasure. The other students were very aware that he wasn't like them and were disturbed by his description, even though they were all living with violence themselves. Some were fearful, others wary, but none wanted to be involved with him and his callous coldness.  This behaviour may have been psychopathic (Please note, I am not a clinician and am in no way making a formal assessment).

Serial bullies
As adults, bullies of all kinds are extraordinarily skilled at deflecting questions, comments or concerns away from themselves. To the observer it’s uncanny how smoothly and seamlessly this is done. People describe being stunned at how the bully seems to be able to anticipate and say what is needed in any given situation.

The bully will often protect anyone accused or suspected of sexual abuse and will frustrate or obstruct investigations into that person. Complaints will go unrecorded and uninvestigated. It is extremely difficult when the bully is the person to whom any complaint must pass through, and incredibly frustrating when information about a bully or sexual predator is not passed up line. The bullying supervisor becomes angry when anyone goes above them to report serial abuse. They enjoy the power of being a gatekeeper and use it to their own ends by filtering information coming up and down.

Bullies are very clever at creating conflict between those who would otherwise pool negative information. They like to divide and conquer. Bullying can be a cover for a deep fear of being found out for being incompetent. They hate to be held accountable but may be able to deceive and evade responsibility whilst manipulating co workers into looking foolish. In reality, they have low self esteem and poor interactions with others. If you have high or normal self esteem you have no need to bully.

The serial bully seems to be able to avoid responsibility for their actions
(Photo: Eastside Gallery. Berlin 2009)

Bullies fear exposure of their inadequacy, immaturity and insecurity. They want to dominate or control and have never learnt how to interact with others normally. The manager who is proud of being "tough"  hasn't learnt how to manage maturely and wisely. Some bullies revel in attention seeking behaviour and like to be the centre of attention, they may overdramatise to be noticed and constantly refer to how busy they are - they need to be noticed. Many are emotionally needy, and are unable to act like normal, mature adults.

When recruiting
Employers who are recruiting should always check qualifications and references extremely carefully. Sociopaths, psychopaths and serial bullies are shameless in their ability to lie and deceive to gain a position of trust. Some have been known to recruit allies to pose as respectable and reputable referees by giving misleading information and false names and contact details.

The bully may appear angelic to some
people, but NOT to the target.

Check list
Have any of these terms been used about any of your co-workers?
If so, it's possible they may be a bully.

• callous, cold and calculating, conniving, clever and cunning
• devious, disinterested
• won't negotiate
• ruthless in the extreme
• scumbag
• slime
• snake in the grass
• tough manager in the extreme
• twofaced
• unreliable
• untrustworthy
• wolf in sheep's clothing
• scheming
• obnoxious

This website gives a layman's checklist of qualities to beware of in the sociopath or psychopath.

Do you have any stories to share? 

What words would you add to the checklist?

Here tomorrow: Targets & Teachers



There are many outstanding resources on line. A few I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, CASSE and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.


Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, often with an environmental theme.
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R. Responsibility. Workplace bullying.

Responsibility
As a society we all have the responsibility to act responsibly, ethically and courageously to spotlight cases of bullying, particularly where the targets are unable, for whatever reason, to speak out for themselves.

Is it easy to report bullying? * No, it takes courage; you may feel out on a limb, extremely insecure and vulnerable.  However, once you become aware of bullying in your workplace, and choose to turn a blind eye, you are in effect condoning the behaviour in the eyes of the bully and helping to perpetuate it.

Some targets of bullying resort to sharing their story with the media. They feel let down by those in power who they should have been able to trust to act. Many are vilified and are further targeted with disciplinary action.

Sometimes the burden of reporting bullying can be very heavy.

Environment

Children growing up in dysfunctional homes (independent of class and status) need particular care and attention, as do their parents. Vilifying and excluding them is not the answer. We train people to drive cars, but anyone can become a parent, no matter how ill equipped.  Many vulnerable families are left on their own after the birth of a baby to sink or swim. Children die; painfully and tragically when their parents are incapable of tending them. Others are scarred for life, emotionally stunted, and never reach their potential.

Midwives discuss their distress when delivering babies they know will be raised in abusive, dysfunctional homes. They are aware of the abused mothers, the alcohol and drug addicted, those with acquired brain injuries and others with low IQ who have little or no reliable support. The importance of a stable, secure upbringing, particularly in the early years has been well documented.

Who takes responsibility?

Responsible schools
Schools can play an important role in counteracting bullying. There is no excuse for schools not to be proactive. All children need to learn to identify bullying, to understand that the behaviour is inappropriate, and learn better ways of behaving, either as an onlooker, bully or target. Every child has the right to learn in a safe environment. Every teacher has the right to teach in a safe environment.

Most bullies can learn to behave appropriately if taught explicitly, supported carefully and supervised kindly, firmly and without condemnation. They need to learn how to take responsibility for their actions, understand there is no excuse for bullying behaviour and crucially, to learn acceptable ways to manage their inappropriate behaviour.

CASSE's (Creating a Safe, Supportive Environment) approach seeks to understand and address the underlying causes of problem behaviours such as bullying and violence. Their aim is to provide safe and supportive environments in schools so that students can grow, play and learn, which will facilitate the formation of resilience and cognitive development. (from their website)

If governments and schools are unwilling to tackle these issues, teachers, parents and the public may need to exert pressure to have effective programmes adopted in all schools. Further information regarding effective school programmes here.

In Victoria this month (April 2011) legislation was announced to provide jail terms of up to 10 years for workplace bullies. Link here. It's a positive step, but there are many more fundamental steps to be taken before everyone is aware that the behaviour is unacceptable.

Information here relating to bullying which has been ignored at school.  

*Some targets of bullying have very good reasons for not reporting the bullying. Every case is different, and each target and onlooker will respond in line with their own personal situation, and should not be criticised for their choice.

A message of hope. East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

Here tomorrow: Sociopaths and serial bullies


There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, many with an environmental theme.
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P. PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Workplace bullying.

This post is one in a series on workplace bullying for the 2012 A-Z Blogging challenge.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can be described as:

an invisible injury occurring as a result of major traumatic experiences, including violence, harassment, assault, rape, accident, fire, explosion, disaster, or witnessing such events.
(from bullyonline) 

PTSD is a natural emotional reaction to a shocking and disturbing experience which has overwhelmed one's ability to cope. It causes significant impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.

There is growing awareness and acceptance that PTSD can also result from an accumulation of many small, individually non-life-threatening incidents such as being exposed to prolonged and relentlessly abusive bullying. To differentiate, the term "Complex PTSD" is generally used.

The feelings and emotions resulting from serial bullying which are similar to those of PTSD include:

• Avoid discussing or thinking about the events
• Avoid going places that remind the person of the trauma
• Chronic gloominess
• Concentration is shot, often confused
• Catatonic. Some people experience an inability to get out of bed (this is very different to laziness)
• Distress at being asked to recall the events or being around people discussing bullying
• Detached, as if watching others from behind a screen
• Exhaustion which is not relieved by sleep
• Flashbacks may be common, with frequent distressing recollections of the events
• Flight or fight response is on constant alert
• General disinterest in life
• Guilty for being weak
• Hyper-vigilant
• Irritable
• Loss of libido
• Nervy
• Pacing the house at all hours of the night
• Recurrent nightmares - adds to sleep deprivation 
• Snappy
• Startles easily and frequently
• Sleep is disrupted constantly, may have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep
• Unable to find meaning or fun in life
• Vomiting or nausea at mention or discussion of the event

East side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

Click here for information about stress.

Here tomorrow: Q. Qualities we instill in our children (which make it easier for them to be bullied)


There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. 

Minding the Workplace by David Yamada is regularly updated with interesting and useful articles and research, and eBossWatch on facebook links to articles about workplace bullying from around the world.

This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area. 

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, often with an environmental theme.
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O. Obstructive & outrageous behaviour. Workplace bullying

Bullying has nothing at all to do with class, race or gender but everything to do with a person who fears being seen and exposed as weak and inadequate. Bullies have low confidence and low self esteem, and may fear being revealed after having "been promoted to the level of their incompetence". They choose to do everything in their power to avoid their incompetence being exposed.  They are often highly stressed and afraid, although they cover this up with blustering, bravado and the appearance of being frenetically busy.

Exposing the angel might present something a lot more sinister.  

Street theatre. London 2007

Street theatre. Berlin 2009.

Many enjoy power and control in a workplace and may be extremely charming in their devious, obstructive and manipulative ways to achieve this. They get a kick out of telling different stories to various groups and make each group feel more highly valued as if they are the only ones to have the important information. One group is chosen and preferred over the others. "I wouldn't tell this to ... but I'll let you in on it" - this creates an 'us and them' culture where manipulation and bullying can more easily and sneakily occur.  Groups may be played off against each other,  it's an example of 'divide and conquer'.

Those who see through this ruse are definitely in the outer group and may be frozen out of being given important information thus exposing them to ridicule when they appear to be incompetent.  Meeting schedules and agendas aren't forwarded in a timely manner, passwords to key files are given incorrectly, vital information is withheld. Sneaky, undermining obstruction prevents you doing the job you may well love. (Sorry, have loved - past tense.)

The bully has a need to discredit those who have observed their bullying behaviour as well as others who they see as more intelligent, competent, popular, enthusiastic or even calm. They haven't learnt to accept their responsibilities as a fully functioning adult.

Some behaviour is outrageous in its outright cheek. Initially, you may be asked to do a small personal favour. It's presented as if it's an honour - your skills and knowledge are special!   As a well functioning adult you are unaware of the potential for bullying and when the privilege of doing this work becomes arduous or eats into your private time, the bully becomes cajoling and manipulative.

For example, if the bully is also your supervisor, it's extremely difficult to back track and decline the little bit of unpaid extra typing for their private life or second job. This could evolve from typing a short letter, then expand over many years to include typing and editing a thesis or producing class notes for their own benefit. You've been conned. When you become aware of what's happened, you may feel abused and violated. Your good, trusting humanity has been taken advantage of.

You''ll never be given credit for the huge amount of work you've completed. The bully on the other hand acts without integrity and appears unaware that their constant demands are inappropriate and that they have overstepped the boundary of appropriate behaviour.

Bullying isn't the occasional flying off the handle when things are going badly. When a normal angry person has let fly, they realise the inappropriateness of their behaviour, and learn better ways to manage and put these into action. Serial bullying happens time and time again, without let-up, it is persistent, undermining, malicious.

It can be an entrenched part of the culture in a workplace. In Australia this month (April 2011) the spotlight has been on a number of services (Armed Forces, Police, airline industry) where the underlying culture appears to be problematic and well entrenched with little change occurring after numerous investigations going back 10 or more years.

The bully may present a charming facade one way, but their obstructive behaviour prevents employees working to capacity.  Their chosen bahaviour damages people and companies, often beyond repair.

Berlin Wall. East Side Gallery. Berlin 2009.







Here tomorrow: PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder


There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, often with an environmental theme.
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A. The Angst & anguish of workplace bullying. A-Z blogging challenge.

Anguish:

"A great mental suffering or pain". An appropriate A word that sums up the experience of being bullied, whether at home, school, work, your place of worship, your club - indeed, wherever it happens.

To begin, I'll look at what bullying behaviour isn't.
Bullying isn't a one off reaming by your boss which is "out of character". Nor is it when a person is experiencing extreme distress such as illness at home, financial difficulties or other life challenges and lashes out with "that was the last straw" moment and spits out mean or hurtful comments.

Things such as these are a normal part of the human experience. We all get frustrated, we all experience hurt, we all get snappy and angry, some live with constant pain and may crack occasionally. Most of us learn to apologise after making unfair or cruel comments; we shake hands and move on. We may even feel contrite or embarrassed by our outburst, because it was so out of character. The person on the receiving end may be hurt and upset by the outburst, but there is not much danger of long term damage to one's psyche from a one off, or occasional grumpy comment.

The above is not bullying behaviour.

In brief (and the remainder of the month will look at different aspects of this) bullying behaviour is ongoing, malicious and relentless. This is the big difference. The bully has no desire to change, and often no insight that their serial bullying is inappropriate.  Some are unaware and uncaring, others proud of being tough and 'telling it like it is'.  In the first examples we survive, we're basically OK, but possibly ruffled. The second can lead to ongoing health issues, affect the ability to learn and retain information and have serious life long outcomes.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

Being the target of a serial bully can lead to a lifetime of angst and anguish. More on this later in the month.  Below is an explanation of how this series of posts came about.


Angst:

"A feeling of anxiety and worry" - this pretty much sums up how I'm feeling about attempting the A-Z Blogging Challenge this month hosted by Arlee Bird over at Tossing it Out. It's easier (although I might regret saying that) with my other blog jumping aground where I enjoy having fun with words. Here however, I tend to be more serious, and I want to focus on an issue that affects many people.  I've written a couple of posts previously on bullying, discussing the fallout from the prolonged abuse and the immense courage it takes to be a whistleblower.  I now want to revisit the issue and explore it further using the A-Z format focusing on Workplace bullying.  The goal is to blog every day except Sundays, starting with A on April 1st through to Z on April 30th. And when I get stuck?  More angst!

Thankyou to Arlee Bird at 'Tossing It Out' and his artful crew for hosting this amazing challenge.

Here tomorrow B: a closer look at what constitutes Bullying behaviour.

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