International Students - targets for bullies and sexual predators.

International students can have an extremely difficult time when studying overseas. There are often issues of painful, sometimes debilitating homesickness, insecurity, confusion and loss.

They can feel resented by the local students and may in turn feel resentful. There are challenges in understanding the nuances of lectures presented in rapid-fire English, and local idiom can be a minefield for those who learnt a very formal version of The Queen’s English. There can be difficulties finding part time work and not understanding the local culture, businesses and expectations.

In their home country, the international student can be confident, capable and resilient.  Navigating and adapting to new experiences and cultural mores without the support of their family and friends can result in the student feeling overwhelmed. The initial excitement and anticipation of studying overseas can develop into realising they need extra support.

In comparison, local students can appear confident with their studies and quite relaxed with members of staff. There may be an appearance of easy informality which is at odds with the respect and compliance towards authority figures at home. Apparently casual relationships at work or at their college can make it difficult for the international student to be alert to, and aware of, inappropriate behaviour by a more powerful person.

These challenges can result in some students being vulnerable to being targeted by various types of bullies, but particularly by sexual predators. The student is confused, lost and alone, and a kind, understanding person who appears to be offering support, local knowledge, warmth, friendship and help seems very welcome. 

The goal of sexual predators is to gain the trust of their target in very gradual, apparently safe and inoffensive stages. Every move the predator initially makes may appear normal, but is in fact calculated so that the target becomes increasingly trusting, familiar, comfortable and reliant on the person. If you express doubts or concerns these will be dismissed as worrying too much, being silly, or an over-reaction. Early meetings are designed to calm and allay any suspicion of inappropriate behaviour, but in reality the predator's goal is to manipulate and control.

Signs of inappropriate behaviour
A student or employee shouldn’t meet their manager, teacher or lecturer on the weekend. When you’re lonely, the attraction of going out with someone who “knows the ropes” and offers to take you for coffee and perhaps to an art show could be attractive, however the blurring of boundaries between professional and private life should always be discouraged.

I’ll repeat that, because it’s so important. It is never acceptable for a lecturer, teacher, counsellor or boss to invite you out. There may be meetings where the whole class or team is involved, that's fine. One on one? Never. Interactions between the authority figure and student should always be strictly professional and formal.  

Employees of an organisation should never give you their private business card or encourage you to contact them after hours. There are accepted professional boundaries which have been established for everyone’s safety. Advertising a private business on company time is not allowed. A reputable employee won’t do this.

A teacher or manager shouldn’t touch you and will appologise if this happens unintentionally. There should be professional physical and emotional distance between a person in authority such as teacher and student, or manager and employee.

If you happen to be looking at detailed information on a computer screen this will be arranged so you’re not physically touching. Your knees and hands won’t touch, “accidentally on purpose” and if they do, you won’t be made to feel foolish for complaining or drawing attention to the fact that this is not appropriate. It’s not to be expected, it’s not acceptable and any concern you express should be respected.

If you feel uncomfortable, your discomfort should be taken seriously. You shouldn’t be told you’ve mistaken the intention or have your unease minimised or dismissed. You shouldn't be made to feel confused or be blamed for feeling uncomfortable.  

In an appropriate professional relationship, sexual comments won’t be made, photos of a sexual nature won’t be shown or referred to and there should be no suggestion of being involved in spending time viewing nude art even if that includes attending a reputable art gallery. If this has happened to you, let someone know, perhaps a teacher or co-worker. To clarify, if you’re enrolled in an art class, and the entire group attends an art show as an integral part of the course, that’s acceptable. Being alone with a person in authority or even with one other person in an out of hours situation; no. 

Inappropriate sexual behaviour of this nature is against organisational rules of conduct, and is illegal. Doctors and psychologists can be de-registered if found guilty of misconduct of this nature.

Unfortunately, some counsellors and career counsellors aren't formally registered and choose to disregard accepted standards of professional conduct. 

When you’re lonely and far from home, when you’re unsure of the roles and expectations in your new environment and are comforted by a smiling, reassuring, confident person who makes you feel special, who knows some of your personal details and who offers support and friendship such as coffee and an outing, or visits to shows where there may be nudity, be very wary and concerned. If it appears too good to be true, it probably is too good to be true, and down the line, there could be a distressing cost. 

Sexual predators make friends with people who feel vulnerable, and who don't have a strong support network.  They'll begin by nurturing a relationship which will feel good, reassuring and safe.  Unlike a genuine friendship, the relationship with a predator will slowly change.  You'll start to feel uncomfortable when exposed to inappropriate material and suggestions, and you'll begin to feel emotionally manipulated although his explanations may still appear innocent and plausible. Eventually, there may be overt or subtle blackmail, and your emotions won’t be respected when you try to assert yourself. 

When the boundaries between professional and private life have been blurred by the dominant person, you are unlikely to  have the skills to deal with the experience alone especially if the person is a serial predator. The predator will try to normalise the behaviour and allay your concerns, however there is no excuse for unprofessional conduct and the sooner you seek help, the better.

If you're concerned that you may be the target of a sexual predator at work, at your place of worship or where you're studying, seek help. Talk to other students, teachers, the student union. A discussion with your doctor or a private counsellor who has experience in these issues will be confidential, and there is no shame in seeking help.  Your experiences should be validated and you won't be blamed for what has happened. In many cases, the sexual predator will have a history of similar complaints, possibly going back many years.

The counsellor will give you skills in how to manage the situation and offer ongoing support. If there have been other complaints about a particular person in the organisation, you may be asked for a statement to add to a file of evidence. The best way for these predators to be stopped is to gather evidence from those who've been preyed on. When you talk to someone in authority the pattern of behaviour can be identified over time and action can be taken.

You can feel overwhelmed, alone and crushed by the experience of being targeted by a sexual predator. Seeking help from someone experienced in the area is vital.

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David Yamada, who presents excellent information about workplace bullying over at Minding the Workplace, has posted about bullying and sexual harassment of students and cites a study about this resulting in increased alcohol consumption.

There's a bit more on the patterns investigators into bullying and harassment look for here: http://traverselife.blogspot.com.au/2011/04/y-you-can-do-something-if-youre-being.html

Other reasons you might be a target:
http://traverselife.blogspot.com.au/2011/04/w-why-me-personal-and-professional.html.

The serial bully: http://traverselife.blogspot.com.au/2011/04/u-underestimate-unrelenting-workplace.html

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Posted by Sue Travers

Would you give your car keys to a stranger?

I was at a barbeque just before Christmas when the conversation got around to phone scams and how each of us manage the calls.

You know the calls I'm referring to. The phone rings and you're greeted by someone with a heavy accent, and it goes along the lines of "Are you (insert name here) of (insert phone number here)?" They may even mention your suburb.

If you've distracted and aren't really paying attention, you might thoughtlessly confirm the details.

The standard spiel continues along the following lines: "I'm calling on behalf of Microsoft to let you know there's been a serious issue reported with your windows programme.  I'm from X company and need to perform an immediate mainteance check to ensure the problem doesn't happen again."

They're full of tech talk and use words designed to bewilder and confuse the average computer user, but most of all they're working hard to make you worried that all is not well with your computer, and are insistent that this needs to be fixed NOW! The caller is insistent, persuasive and convincing.  They use phrases like "corrupt files", "viruses" and "error code".

They create a sense of panic.

Reports of this particular scam have come in from London to Brisbane, New York to Christchurch and most places in-between. Far too many people have been caught on the hop; the figures are sketchy due to many people being too embarrassed to report the theft once they realise they've been taken in by scammers.

from "The Little Black Book of Scams" - Australian Competition & Consumer Commission

They've been gullible, trusting or naive or maybe ill, elderly or confused and followed the instructions thus enabling the scammer to instal viruses and spyware on their computers. The scammers could be using payphones or disposable cell phones, so they're well nigh impossible to catch even if you get a number and report them.  The victim may have paid for 'Life Time Support' by PayPal, credit card, or given bank details, thus enabling accounts to be emptied as they sit and watch.

Each of us sitting round the table had had up to 10 calls a week over a period of a couple of weeks - the calls stop for a while, then start up again. The calls are invasive, irritating and time consuming.

They've been known to leave some people feeling that their privacy has been invaded, and if the scammer has become abusive, people can be left feeling insecure and rattled.  This is the reaction of people who haven't succumbed to the scam.  If you had lost money and thought the scammer could appear at your front door, you'd be sick with fear and apprehension.

The conversation got around to musing if there could be some sort of a link between anger towards Indian students in Melbourne and other Australian cities, and anger about the scam. Could someone with a short fuse, who has perhaps been "got" or who knows someone who has lost money and peace of mind, react physically? Might some people target an unsuspecting student who appears to be of the same ethnicity as the scammer? We have no idea, but it's possible.

We put our heads together to try and come up with some different ways to use the experience as a chance to do something worthwhile. Amongst other things, we decided we wanted to express our concern to the scammer about the possible repercussions to foreign students in Australia as a direct result of their scam.

Being rude - nope.

Appeal to the scammers better nature - no.

"I'm recording you" - a recording could be used as an instructional tape so people know what to listen for. Could be useful.

Putting the phone of speaker so your children can listen - discuss how language can be used to persuade - good!

Tell the caller you're expecting a call from their Embassy to discuss scams. Could work.

Ask them if they believe in Karma - remind them of the repercussions of their actions. Seems to work.

Most recently though, I've decided simply to say "This scam has a direct impact on students living in Australia. Your action makes them unsafe and encourages racism." This seems to work although it needs to be refined so the word scam comes later - strangely they usually hang up when they hear the word scam. I'm probably tempting fate here, but since using that one, the calls have tapered off significantly.

If you have been caught off guard and given the scammer access to your computer: Disconnect immediately, phone your bank to alert them to what's happened and cancel your credit card, and as your bank statements come in, check them carefully. Contact a reputable company, (trusted friends and neighbours are a good source of information) let them know what's happened and they'll remove any malware that's been installed.

How do you manage scammers? Do you hang up immediately, are you rude, do you play along for entertainment value or have you devised a wonderfully creative response?

More information on scams:

• The Microsoft scam page information is here
• Information on how to recognise different kinds of scams is here
• An A-Z of fraud is here
• A Police warning about the above scam is here
• The Little Black Book of Scams can be downloaded for free from the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission here
• ... and I'm sure there are many, many more links and that this is just the tip of a massive scammy iceberg.

The title of this piece came from a forum where someone asked "Would you give your car keys to a stranger? That's the equivalent of what you're doing if you allow a stranger access to your computer."

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I: International Students (and others). Bullying.

International Students (and others) are vulnerable to bullying in a number of areas. In general they have little idea of the expectations, laws, responsibilities and rights they can expect in their host country when they seek part time work to support themselves.

Employment conditions in the new country may include a minimum wage, paid annual leave for full time or part time employees, carer's leave, parental leave, freedom to join an industrial union or the right not to be sacked unlawfully. If you don't know about this, your rights at work could be abused by a predatory employer.

Unfortunately, some employers are unscrupulous and prey on new arrivals, convincing them that conditions are the same or worse than in their homeland.

Misunderstandings can also lead to a perception of being bullied when the dominant culture is not understood or doesn't live up to the myth. For example, Australians have a reputation for being extremely laid back, but has one of the highest populations in the world working more than 50 hours per week. Many international students are surprised that reality doesn't fit the myth.

Prior to the global financial crisis, 38% of Australians didn't take their annual leave compared to 13% of Germans. I suspect that figure has increased over the last year or so with more people feeling insecure in their jobs due to the overall economic downturn. People who are unable to change jobs easily are also more vulnerable to being bullied.

Employers may often observe other religious holidays through negotiation, but new arrivals are sometimes not aware that this needs to be discussed prior to an event, and not just take the day/s off. New arrivals have reported they believe they are being bullied when they have their pay docked for taking time off without negotiation.

Unscrupulous employers may also encourage students to accept cash payments - this doesn't go down well with the Taxation Department and may result in being paid less than the award wage. This is a form of abuse.

Some jobs are advertised on a regular basis. Beware! There is a reason for this which may have to do with either appalling conditions or a bullying boss.

There have been instances of newly arrived female students being targeted by men from their homeland. Some wait at the airports for incoming flights at the start of semester, meeting the girls as they disembark. Pleased to be met by a "friendly" person from their homeland who offers to help them negotiate the new country they may become victims of serial abuse and bullying...

Interviews: There are some vile brutes (men and women) who delight in belittling interviewees. They are scornful of the application, make degrading, intrusive and offensive comments and are proud to 'toughen them up for the real world'. These serial bullies have a new target in each interview, and do untold damage particularly to young people who go into the interview bright eyed and bushy tailed only to emerge crushed beyond belief.

One brute phoned the candidate after the interview to discuss how she could have improved her performance in the interview. He then proceeded to criticise her clothing in none too complimentary ways. The young lady wore a tailored outfit which wasn't a designer brand - she was a student after all!  There was no discussion of her suitability for the job, or her competence in answering his questions.

International students may have a lot of pressures on them from home. They're in a foreign country and many are expected to receive an education to enable them to get a 'good' job that will support their family when they return. Unfortunately the employers who prey on students can undermine not only their studies but their confidence which can have a negative impact both in the host country and on their return.

Here tomorrow: Journal


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There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, mostly with a climate related theme.
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On International Students - a contrast

The end of the academic year, international students are returning to their homelands, hopefully full of stories of a different country with strange foods and incomprehensible customs.

Many, however were achingly lonely in their student lodgings, not knowing how to integrate into the local networks, or if their hesitant overtures of friendship would be misunderstood or worse - rejected.

So they take the safe option, and eat alone in their rooms with computer games blaring to dull the pain of loneliness. Parents blissfully unaware of the suffering some endure.

Home, known, understood and loved has never looked so good.

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Muffled chuckles escaping from the lounge-room. The occasional chirrup of an electronic message, otherwise ... silence.

A comfortable silence, companionable, relaxed.

Not wanting to intrude, (but keen to snoop) I peek.
Our guests, curled comfortably on couch and chairs, reading happily. "Footrot Flats", "Asterix and Obelix", "Calvin and Hobbes", but some more challenging - "Guns, Germs and Steel" and "Myths and Legends of Australia".

The dusty television a mute testament to the power of the written word and the joy a book can bring.

Gen Y gets negative press

But these are our children

Our future

I'm proud of them.

Thanks to Teresa for the photo above.

A Drabble is a story told in 100 words. No more, no less.


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Racism, intolerance and prejudice?

Ethical workplaces. Ethical co-workers. Ethical behaviour. Simple enough isn't it?

So many of the people I work with want to behave ethically and with integrity, and yet feel pressured into putting their own deeply held values aside when they enter their workplace.

This leads to extreme tension for many people, and impacts on their psychological, and often their physical health.

I was working with a University leturer recently who confessed that what he perceives as a lack of ethical behaviour at his university is making him seriously consider resigning from his prestigious post.

You see, in his university, English language standards for international students (who will remain in Australia on completion of their degree) are apparently being bypassed or ignored.

To be enrolled the students are supposed to have English language of a satisfactory standard to complete their course. They are expected to have sat, and passed, an exam to ensure they will understand lectures, course notes and reading lists. The English language exam is also meant to indicate their ability to be able to produce satisfactory written and oral work.

Where does this go wrong?

This lecturer has been accused to being racist for pointing out that if a student is unable to complete the requirements to the University standard, then the student should fail.

Sure we can and do teach requirements for the presentation of their reports complete with referencing and bibliographies. His university also offers bridging English courses for students who may need them. Fair enough, that’s how it should be.

But somewhere along the line some students are being passed who don’t have the required English skills to, for instance, write a report independently, read (and understand) Warning labels on bottles, or adequately understand mathematical questions. (This is naturally of great concern when some of these students will work in the medical field, and has a negative ripple-on effect in those workplaces).

This post isn’t about the rights or wrongs of the system per se, but about the effect of name calling, and being required to compromise your own standards. It’s about the effect of this on an individual employee. (I'll talk about the effect on the students in another post).

Simplistically it boils down to - pass the students, or have your hours reduced. And the effect is an uncomfortable dilemma. Do you pass students who aren't up to scratch, or fail them and not make your mortgage repayments?

Unfortunately this is all too common an occurrence. I regularly work with academics, teachers and administrative staff who are deeply distressed about having to compromise their values; to be pressured into passing students whose work is sub-standard.

Some leave, some stay and struggle on, disillusioned and unhappy. Being an onlooker, I do wish that someone; someone in a position of power would acknowledge the damage that is being caused, (not just to my clients, but to the students and their future employers) and have the courage to say “This is wrong. The buck stops here. I will address this issue.”

But I'm not holding my breath.




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