#100happydays or 100 days of Snap-happiness!

Earlier this week, a friend mentioned that she was entering the challenge of sharing 100 happy days on Instagram.

Another friend had made a new year commitment on her blog to count something as well as to write for 20 minutes per day.  "If you count something interesting to you, I tell you: you will find something interesting."

Both of these were good reminders to me. Research into positive psychology shows that appreciating things and events around you improves not only your attitude towards happiness, but also your resilience. Given the impact of the persistent and pervasive negative news with which we're constantly bombarded, I suspect many of us need an antidote!

The good news is that happiness is a skill which can be cultivated. It's important to clarify, the happiness we're speaking of isn't the vacuous rah rah, everything is fine and everything will be fine, saccharine sweet emptiness that makes one want to gag.

"Happiness is about living a full, rich and meaningful life - the kind of life we'd all like our children to live. But happiness levels fluctuate considerably," said Dr Grant.  

Happiness is made up of psychological wellbeing, such as how much meaning and engagement you have in your life and subjective wellbeing, which is about how you think about the world and how you feel about yourself. " 

We have a significant amount of influence on how happy we are - the choices we make on a daily basis determine our happiness," explained Dr Grant. 

Dr Russ Harris (who along with Dr Anthony Grant was involved with the ABC TV show called Making Australia Happy), also says that living a rich full and meaningful life includes embracing your demons, not avoiding, fighting or denying them! There's far more in The Happiness Trap including free resources.

Dr Anthony Grant, together with Alison Leigh, have shared their Eight top tips for living a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Step 5 is most relevant for the 100 day photo happiness challenge.

Practise gratitude
When we take the time to feel grateful, to appreciate things and to express that feeling of appreciation in some way, life seems to be better. Appreciating something involves taking the time to notice it and then acknowledging its value and meaning, as well as feeling a positive emotional connection to it. 

But back to the #100happydays challenge!  Counting something sounds a little odd at first, but ... I'm going to count to 100, and for the next 100 days I aim to post a photo on Instagram of something I appreciate or which makes me happy - username traverselife_au using the hashtags #100happydays and #onegoodthing and I invite anyone reading this to join me and share what it is that you're grateful for or which makes you happy.

Feel free to share the username and hashtag/s you'll use in the comment section :-)

Finally, it's important to remember that if you aim to improve your happiness, that lack of sleep, poor diet and lack of exercise will play a significant role in your wellbeing. It is "hard to feel energised or happy on minimal sleep or a diet of cola and pizza!" (here)

Happiness is ... a puppy with a bone ;-)

Suddenly my job seems pointless.

People sometimes say about their workplace: "I'm thinking of chucking it all in. I can't stand this place any longer."

Others come to see me with stories along the lines of "I'd just bought a morning coffee and realised I couldn't face going back to work. I phoned my boss from the car to say I wouldn't return. Ever."

While the latter is more extreme, it's not uncommon and often leaves the employer as stunned as the former employee.

People who've walked out of their workplace never to return, usually say they weren't conscious of being particularly unhappy. It was as if something surfaced from deep within resulting in a sense of physical revulsion. They talk of a feeling of bewilderment; of having been as surprised as everyone else by this unprovoked and out of character action.

Often they'll sit at home for a week or more trying to make sense of what's happened to them, but this doesn't always lead to particularly useful insights.

To result in this dramatic reaction, something has been deeply out of kilter, and after discussion it generally becomes clear that personal values haven't been acknowledged by the employee or have been trampled on by a manager. However, because values aren't usually discussed in any meaningful way in western culture, it's likely that they haven't been acknowledged or clarified in the person's private life.

What can you do (right now) if you have a sudden overwhelming feeling of revulsion about work and are feeling caught in a web that you can't seem to escape from?

• Stop.
• If possible find somewhere quiet to sit. (To answer the unspoken question: Yes, some people can only find peace in the washroom. It usually provides privacy and you hopefully won't be interrupted!) 
• Breathe slowly and regularly. Take in 3 deep breaths and let them out in a controlled  s l o w  manner. It's harder to panic when you're focused on filling your lungs with air!
• Do a body scan: Mentally audit your limbs, organs, torso and head to get a sense of where the tension has settled - you'll notice a tightness, lump, sense of suffocation or queasiness somewhere when you pause quietly and take time to systematically check in. A body scan can sometimes be a quick process or can take a half hour or more. Don't shortchange yourself by rushing!
• Now, most importantly, when you sense where the discomfort is, stay settled. It's perfectly normal and tempting to avoid mental discomfort and metaphorically run - by turning on the radio or TV, picking up a book, checking social media or deciding you need a cup of coffee ..... Stick with it, you'll thank yourself later on.
• Some people report mentally "seeing" a writhing lump of spaghetti-like substance, others use dreary colours to describe an immovable mass. The description is as individual as you are and there are no right or wrong descriptions.
• Acknowledge and make room for the discomfort. As I mentioned, some people report the feeling of a golf ball in the throat, difficulty breathing or nausea.  Don't try to push the sensation down, belittle the feelings, pretend they don't exist or be scornful and call yourself weak (see Do you bully yourself?) It can be hard to believe, but these feelings are perfectly normal amongst regular everyday people, mums, dads, aunties and uncles, whether they're high flying executives in powerful positions, TV presenters or comedians, artists or doctors. They're part of the human condition and most of us experience them from time to time. 
• As Russ Harris says; now observe the sensation as a curious scientist would. Not with heavy ham-fisted aggression, but gently and with interest. Some people look at the shape, colour and form of the discomfort and find it changes as they take time and allow it to be. (This sounds a bit weird and hippy, but isn't when you do it.)
• And the part which I personally find most powerful is this bit: instead of squashing down the unpleasant sensation, and metaphorically stomping on it to try to make it go away because it hurts and isn't nice, give it a bit of room. Make space for it. Let it stretch. Again, this sounds weird until you do it. What happens then is that it's not quite so horribly uncomfortable. It doesn't go away, it hasn't vanished, but you're not fighting it. 
• Instead of spending time and energy persistently battering uncomfortable feelings down, you give them their own space and whilst you mightn't be great mates you can co-exist with tolerance and acceptance. 
• Next think about your values. If you've completed a formal values clarification exercise, review it, starting with the ones that are not negotiable. Is there something out of kilter there? Something which surfaces when you give it time and space? Work gently through your list one at a time. 
• If you haven't completed a values clarification exercise, the following might be helpful: 

a) from The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris
b) a worksheet from Kelly Wilson adapted by Russ Harris

• It could be that it's not an unethical workplace which is the issue, but that your home life (which you value deeply) is being swamped by work demands leaving you depleted and feeling that something important is passing you by.

And while it may be that nothing will change immediately, by spending time quietly thinking about what's important in your life, you'll gain clarity and understanding and this knowledge will empower you to take appropriate committed action. 

Appropriate action could be to make deliberate changes in relation to conflicting demands on your time: To make space for, and prioritise family, exercise, wholesome food and to give yourself time to enjoy these things. 

Appropriate action could be more confronting too. Once you've become aware of what is disturbing you, how will you respond? If for instance, a colleague is being harassed, which conflicts with your deeply held value of social justice, you'll need to choose how to respond. Will you speak up and be supportive or not? If you don't speak up, you'll experience further conflict - if you do there are costs (and advantages) to that decision as well. When you choose to live in line with your values, it makes some decisions obvious - but that doesn't necessarily make the resulting action easy. 

Without knowledge of what has unsettled you, you'll be making decisions in reaction to something and not proactively from a base of knowledge. 

If doing this alone doesn't work for you, find a coach or trainer who works from a base of values and contact them. The ACBS website is a good place to start and has members throughout the world.


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Remembering 6 good things.

What is career development and coaching?

I received the following question last week and thought that my response (extended for this post) could be interesting for those whose experience of career counselling is a ten minute appointment with someone at school when they were in year 10 discussing work experience, or during year 12 when they were granted a few rushed minutes to discuss "life" plans and their post-school options.

The question:
What would you advise an ex cop, local government councillor and youth worker who wants to be in the social and environmental development industry?

My answer:
This sounds like a magic wand request!

What happens during a career development session is generally quite different and no crystal balls or magical wands are involved! It's a lot more complex than some of the ads you might have seen make it appear, and more complex than some people are prepared for.  It takes time, and the ability to self reflect to get the most from the investment.

Values
Generally, my work with clients is firmly based on values, so we begin with an exercise to help them clarify what's important to them as an individual and to help them think and see their life from a different perspective.

Many of us bumble along, fall into our first job without thinking too much about what's important to us, and stumble haphazardly from one thing to the next with no particular idea what we're searching for.

The values exercise is, for most people, surprising and grounding. They often say, "I'd never thought about it like this before." It helps them see where their values may be at odds with their employer and vice versa. When values aren't compatible, or worse, completely at odds with your employer, it's no wonder you're unhappy. (The mini documentary Green Generation introduces a young man whose values led him from an arguably desirable job where his values weren't met by the company to completely new challenges. There's a bit about it here)

Working within the reality of your situation
Sometimes bitterly unhappy people know what the issues are, but for financial or other reasons are unable to change careers or workplaces. We then work within the reality of that situation and look at ways to support, and possible expand on, the positive things that are happening in their lives so than an unhappy work situation doesn't overwhelm them.

This might include support in more effective communication strategies, assertiveness training, or tactics to deflect the undermining aspects of bullying. It could be looking at spending more time on significant relationships outside work, finding new hobbies, getting more exercise or eating with a mindful attitude. There is no "one size fits all" quick fix response.

Simultaneously, we could be looking at a 5+ year plan, working towards a career theme (not a specific job) supporting your values, skills and interests, which will be more fulfilling while meeting current family and financial commitments. 

Then of course, there are the challenges of location. It's not always possible to work locally, and this can be an uncomfortable issue when an hour plus commute through heavy traffic is at odds with valuing environmental responsibility. For that one, there are no easy answers.

I hope this doesn't sound like a cop-out response. Any superficial reply would be ultimately unhelpful, and doesn't allow for the nuances, contradictions and complexities of a real person.

I do so wish I had that magic wand, I'd have made a fortune by now!

A quick fix is less satisfying than deep reflection
... But, just thinking on that, I doubt my clients would be better off if I waved a magic wand. Whilst the journey of looking deeply into their values isn't for everyone, and can sometimes be challenging and confronting, most people are grateful for the experience, and they are enriched by the process.

While none of us have the ability to see into the future, our values stay with us for life. The people I work with want to live with integrity, and when decisions are made thoughtfully and based on the solid foundation of values, they have much more chance of living a rich, full and meaningful life, no matter where they end up working.

As you can see,  what you might have experienced at school will be quite different to what I've described here. Career Development is often a life-long process, evolving as our interests and needs change, and in response to economic conditions and environmental factors. It's something most of us will revisit time and time again as we respond and adapt to real events in our lives right through to retirement.

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Attending the ACT Boot Camp in the USA

I've just been to the USA - well to be honest, just a tiny portion of it, around Reno, Nevada and just a few small areas of California.

Like many professionals, to remain registered with our associations we have to accrue a certain amount of PD (Professional Development) points per annum. This is to show that we're up to date, moving with the times and not allowing dust to gather under our feet. For my association, (the CDAA - Career Development Association of Australia) we can include attending relevant training or conferences, writing articles which are published, reading and mentoring among other things.

I enjoy conferences, it's a great way to meet with colleagues from around the country and share experiences - both the joys and frustrations of our work and learn new things in a concentrated environment.

Training:
This year, however,  I wanted to extend my skills in a specific area, so when information about an ACT Boot Camp in the US appeared in my in-box I was delighted ... except that ... well ... it was in the US, and that's not just down the road. A 15 hour direct flight isn't something to be tackled lightly when you're travelling economy, even when the fares are heavily discounted. That's fifteen, long, boring hours, with crying babies, coughing adults and smoking deprived addicts, cooped up, farting, twitching, and generally desperately wishing they were somewhere else, mostly safely on the ground at their destination. QANTAS is a good airline, but 15 hours is stretching the friendship quite a bit.

But four days of intense training in ACT was extremely attractive! My training so far has been with Dr Russ Harris, (there's more about him, his books and work here) and he's great. But this boot camp would give me the opportunity to meet Dr Steve Hayes and other influential people in the field, learn more, and would be relevant for both my clients and myself.

Core Values:
Encouraging clients to think about their core values is how I work. When you know what's important to you, it provides a solid basis on which to make career and life choices, and ACT is both mindfully and values based. It complements career development for those wanting to make decisions which will support their life goals and values. Perfect!

Four solid days of training were offered, 8:30 am till 9:30 pm, an hour for lunch, and a dinner break of 1 1/2 hours - a couple of meagre tea breaks were included. That's full on! Would I have the stamina to last the distance? I could see why Dr Steve Hayes called it a Boot Camp, even though that's not an expression we use frequently for anything other than extremely demanding exercise classes.

Reno has never been on the short list of places I wanted to visit, but with the Yosemite, Sequoia and Death Valley National Parks not far off, I decided to extend the trip and have a bit of a holiday as well (after all it is such a very long way to travel if you only stay a few days!). This is the land of the TV shows I watched as a child, the wild west, rugged landscapes and familiar place names. (More about this over at jumping aground soon.)

And it was fantastic! More than 360 people attended, mostly from the US, but also from Belgium, France, Israel, South America, Ireland, London and of course Australia!

Casino:
A casino seemed to be an unusual place to hold the training, but the facilities were excellent and we fitted comfortably into the conference room.  I'd rarely go into a casino as they remind me of a large parasite, sucking the lifeblood out of their victims who have been enticed into the lair. The machines seem like voracious pulsating stomach and intestines. This casino was huge; multi levelled, glittery, maze-like, airconditioned and soulless. Few gamblers appeared happy and seemed to be in a zombie like state. I wonder if they go home after a weekend of gambling and eating and say they've had a fantastic time? There must be some attraction I'm missing or the places would go broke and that never seems to happen!

I'm told the Boot Camp attendees stood out like the proverbial sore thumb as appearing very different to the gambling patrons, perhaps it's because many of us not only dressed for comfort and had note books and name badges, but showed complete disinterest in the "attractions" on offer.

But I digress; back to the ACT Boot Camp! There were so many benefits to attending training out of my own country. I didn't know anyone so couldn't take the easy option of sitting with people I already knew. Every person I met was interesting and generously shared information about their work life and the challenges which are so different to what I experience in Australia. The training was structured so that we quickly dropped the facade of "all is well" and shared information about fears, insecurities, and the personal challenges and hurts which affect us all ... we all have some sort of demons to contend with.

Whilst Australia and the US share a common language (more or less), we don't appear to share similar work experiences or opportunities. The bulk of the attendees seemed to be social workers and psychologists working in government departments or institutions of some sort, and I was certainly in the minority being a career counsellor working privately - yet in Australia, this isn't uncommon. It seems that the closest work title to being a career counsellor for adults would be a life coach. Specific career development discussions seem to be provided mostly for students or through companies providing outplacement services for redundant workers (a term that was considered quite harsh by the Americans) or for veterans (who we refer to as returned service personnel).

I talked with those at my shared table about how I already use ACT in career development work with my clients. Much of what I learnt at the Boot Camp is applicable to people who are unhappy in their careers, who are the targets of bullying, seeking a new direction or who are uncertain about course choices - it's definitely not only for people struggling with PTSD, addictions or abuse, although it's been consistently shown to be of benefit to those groups.

I'm glad I went. ACT complements career development beautifully. I've extended my skills, met some wonderful welcoming people, shared information, hopes and dreams as well as personal challenges and learnt more than I dreamed was likely or possible. I've been enriched by the training as well as the travel experience - for all my initial questions about the value of attending overseas training, it was a worthwhile investment!

wikipedia information on ACT
A non-academic article about ACT by Dr Russ Harris here




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P. PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

This post is for the letter P in my series on workplace bullying for the 2011 A-Z Blogging Challenge. This is a repost of the original.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can be described as:

an invisible injury occurring as a result of major traumatic experiences, including violence, harassment, assault, rape, accident, fire, explosion, disaster, or witnessing such events.
(from bullyonline) 

PTSD is a natural emotional reaction to a shocking and disturbing experience which has overwhelmed one's ability to cope. It causes significant impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.

There is growing awareness and acceptance that PTSD can also result from an accumulation of many small, individually non-life-threatening incidents such as being exposed to prolonged and relentlessly abusive bullying. To differentiate, the term "Complex PTSD" is generally used.

The feelings and emotions resulting from serial bullying which are similar to those of PTSD include:

• Avoid discussing or thinking about the events
• Avoid going places that remind the person of the trauma
• Chronic gloominess
• Concentration is shot, often confused
• Catatonic. Some people experience an inability to get out of bed (this is very different to laziness)
• Distress at being asked to recall the events or being around people discussing bullying
• Detached, as if watching others from behind a screen
• Exhaustion which is not relieved by sleep
• Flashbacks may be common, with frequent distressing recollections of the events
• Flight or fight response is on constant alert
• General disinterest in life
• Guilty for being weak
• Hyper-vigilant
• Irritable
• Loss of libido
• Nervy
• Pacing the house at all hours of the night
• Recurrent nightmares - adds to sleep deprivation 
• Snappy
• Startles easily and frequently
• Sleep is disrupted constantly, may have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep
• Unable to find meaning or fun in life
• Vomiting or nausea at mention or discussion of the event

East side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

Here's some information about stress and Recovery from Bullying - learning new patterns of behaviour after having been bullied and Another Step in recovery from bullying, The Making of Happiness (more tips to assist recovery from bullying).

Here tomorrow: Q. Qualities we instill in our children (which make it easier for them to be bullied)

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. 

Minding the Workplace by David Yamada is regularly updated with interesting and useful articles and research, and eBossWatch on facebook links to articles about workplace bullying from around the world.

This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area. 

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, often with an environmental theme.

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How not to seek serenity

I've occasionally written about the benefits of mindfulness, but when I came across this clip the other day I realised I've missed a major aspect, and that's how to still the perpetually wandering mind.

Now, whilst this clip mightn't precisely help you relax and achieve a restful state, it will give an insight into how meditation and relaxation are tackled (and I use the word advisedly) by many people.

So, if you feel stuck, frustrated, out of sorts, and that your wandering mind means you suck at this meditation, mindfulness or relaxation thing, remember that it's perfectly normal. When you talk to a wise teacher they'll look at you with compassion and remind you quite honestly that's how it is for everyone.

Beating yourself up about it, haranguing yourself with annoyed phrases and demands to relax are the aspects that don't help!

Enjoy, and please let me know how you go :)
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Climate Matters. Q is for Quadruple bottom line

This post is for Q in the A-Z Blogging Challenge 2012. Link in the Sidebar.


For many years large businesses focused only on the bottom line accounting practice of returning a profit for their shareholders, often at the expense of their employees and local communities. Acting with integrity, and responding to moral, social, cultural and environmental responsibilities had frequently fallen by the wayside.

The triple bottom line refers to the practise of including three aspects: environmental balance, social inclusion and economic growth, to describe a sound business model.

The quadruple bottom line includes culture. 
More recently however, there is a growing awareness of the need for businesses to achieve economic, social and cultural growth without irreversibly damaging the ecological systems that support that growth. Culture is recognised as the fourth pillar of corporate responsibility in a sustainable business model and is considered to be where values, meaning and purpose in life originate and gel, to form a healthy society.

Whilst this model began in the government sector, businesses at the forefront of its adoption are working towards being sustainable and responsible by looking towards a future where growth in one area creates positive benefits in all areas. They are aware that it's valuable for employees, shareholders and management to acknowledge that they're part of something bigger than themselves.

Sustainable development is often referred to as “development that meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs.” Increasingly local businesses and councils are leading the way in proactively addressing climate change and sustainability. They’re taking responsibility for the environment through waste minimisation, energy analysis and taking an interest in social and cultural responsibility to increase morale, reduce absenteeism and improve overall work performance. In short, they find that these efforts increase efficiency and productivity and therefore increase the bottom line, not decrease it!

Ideally, governments worldwide will begin to confidently pursue cultural responsibility through good governance and a wider understanding of people's needs, desires and goals in life. This would undoubtedly facilitate wise and effective long term planning rather than focusing on the short period between elections.

Of interest is recent research showing that businesses offering Mindfulness Meditation or similar training for their employees is having a positive benefit. Employees have found that spending time on these practices increases job satisfaction, enhances focus, decreases absenteeism and the number of job related accidents, decreases stress and generally improves their lives both on and off the job. The research “presents compelling evidence that mindfulness-based practices may be a fruitful addition to organisational wellness programes.” (Glomb et al)

Businesses thinking more holistically are addressing new ways to produce services and products with an eye on our collective futures. They -

1. Recognise the human needs of employees, stakeholders and all other parties the business impacts on 

2. Protect the environment and are aware of the needs of all communities impacted by the company 

3. Use natural resources wisely 

4. Accept that constant growth may not be possible or desirable for the long term viability of the company.  

In these ways everyone involved with the company feels part of something with a higher purpose and vision than just making money. The company doesn’t extract value from employees or the environment, it adds value, and as a consequence all stakeholders are more deeply engaged and committed to ensuring the companies long term success.

Last year I wrote about the Qualities we instil in our children for Q for my theme of workplace bullying. Here and Quinces here.
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Climate Matters: N is for Notice

This post is for N in the A-Z blogging Challenge 2012. Link in the sidebar.


Notice what changes you can make in your immediate environment to become more sustainable - to become aware is empowering!

An old postcard found tucked into a book.
Poems by John Hepworth, sketches by Leunig.

That cheaper plasma TV that cost next to nothing to purchase could be slurping power in the most greedy way. It's easy to get sucked into a purchase because an item is cheap to buy - but often what is cheap at the register is more expensive to maintain day to day. They're energy sucking vampires. If you purchase a new TV, choose an LCD or LED screen, they're far more energy efficient.  As an aside, if you're using TV as a form of anaesthesia consider going for a walk either alone or with others, our bodies like to move and will thank you for it.

Was your refrigerator banished to the garage or basement when you upgraded to a swishy new one?  There it is keeping a few bottles of beer cold ... have you checked how much energy it's consuming? I know of one person who saved over $300 per year simply by getting rid of the beer frig and elderly TV! An alternative could have been to only turn them on as needed ie, don't leave them on standby. Many electric items on "idle" consume more power than you might expect! Standby, or idle is not the same as off. It's not unusual to reduce electricity consumption from 29 kwh to 9.32 kwh just by turning off those items - that represents money in your pocket!

Leaving white-goods on standby can seem petty and insignificant, individually it could be as little as $12 per year, pfft, that's nothing!! But when you add the different items around an average home, it all adds up - maybe it still seems a bit pointless, but when push comes to shove, who would you rather had that $160, you or your power company?

What else to do? Cover downlights with little special igloos to stop winter heated air escaping - many types of downlight create a tiny vortex sucking out your warmth and can double a heating bill in the blink of a wintery eye.

Insulate, insulate insulate - we have chopped up wool and it acts as a cosy blanket for the house.

Double glazing could be too expensive for many of us, but there are stick on alternatives that are affordable and good if you're renting. These products can cut down loss of heat, or prevent it getting in, in hot climates.

Heavy curtains over windows prevent sun getting in where the temperatures are hot, or heat escaping in cold climates. Pelmets over the top of windows stop heat sneaking out - if you're renting it's possible to make simple cardboard ones. It helps create a snug cocoon.

There's a neat little gizmo that you can buy to see how much power is being consumed by appliances when they're on idle. A remote kill switch or power board, again seems insignificant to cut power from standby, but add it to the other savings so YOU get to enjoy the benefits NOT the corporation

Turn off lights when you're not in the room - how simple can it be!

Door seals, don't have to be dorky, and most of us are aware of drafts around outside doors, but I'd never thought of using them indoors. If your toilet or bathroom has a window and vent to the outer world, it could be worthwhile to use a draft sausage and door seals there. It seems picky, but you could be heating the air outside rather than snuggling in it inside.

You can use an Incense stick to check for drafts - just light one then wander around and see how the smoke behaves - is it being sucked upwards towards light fittings or toward door surrounds?

When you buy a new light globe try the LED ones, they're more expensive to buy, but will last an amazing length of time, more than making up for the initial outlay. Some of them shed a cold light, the same as regular light globes, so check before you buy.

We used to hear the saying "a penny saved is a penny earned " meaning  don't throw your hard earned money into the abyss. Millions of Australians earn around $20 per hour, if you leave 5 items on standby (eg washing machine, toaster, computer, printer and bar frig) that equates to working 10 hours and you're not getting any personal benefit. You might be at work and notice that the first hour of each day for two weeks every year you're working to pay for items sitting at home on standby. Isn't that worth noticing?

Only run the dishwasher or washing machine as needed, ie when full! Unless you're running a hotel, only wash towels once a week, it's easy to dry them either outdoors in summer or on a clothes horse in winter. Clothes dryers can be used as a back up when all else fails, but line drying is the preferred option - the smell is invigorating and as a hay-fever sufferer I can honestly say I've never sneezed when wearing clothing straight off the line.

You might also become aware of the common unsustainable ingredients in foods. Palm oil is produced from plantations where natural vegetation has been decimated, biodiversity has been thrown out of balance, native peoples forcible removed from traditional lands and animals squashed into pockets of land that are unable to sustain them promoting spread of disease due to overcrowding.

As we learn to notice things such as where goods come from, the ethics of companies, and think about sustainable lifestyles, we find we have choices. Rather than reacting through habit, when we notice we realise we have the power to choose in accordance with our values (see V) - it can help make decisions simple - it's empowering.

Last year for N, I wrote about Nurses and other Nice people for my theme of workplace bullying. Here. and Nincompoops and Napalm here.
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Climate Matters. K is for out of Kilter

This is for K in the A-Z blogging challenge 2012. Link in the sidebar.


Many of us are acutely aware that the world as we've known it is changing. It's evident in the unsettled climate and unpredictable, extreme weather systems which are out of kilter leaving many of us feeling acutely uncomfortable.

For the past 40 or so years, we've focused on working excessively long hours, maybe at jobs we don't particularly like, commuting long distances in heavy peak hour traffic, negotiating aggressive, abusive drivers, becoming tense and irritable not only with ourselves but with our frazzled time poor families. Trucks, noise and fumes assault our senses while we mindlessly scoff sugary snacks simply to get us through the stress and as a "treat" for surviving. Out of kilter indeed.

The words temperance and moderation are considered old fashioned, as we've been encouraged to consume more and more at a faster and faster pace, forcing us to work crazy hours a two or three jobs simply to make repayments on "essential" goods we often have little time to enjoy. Houses large enough to double as a boutique hotel are considered normal, purchased with borrowed money and astronomical repayments that can feel more like a stifling life sentence.

Some of my male clients confess that they're empty inside, life feels futile and pointless, yet they appear to have "everything". It's often only when their marriage falls apart that they stop and question the vortex they've become caught in.

It can be confronting to realise that the lifestyle we've fallen into isn't meeting our fundamental human needs: happiness, time for relaxation, and making space and time to feed ourselves with wholesome food and nurture ourselves and those we love.

Many of my clients say they've forgotten what it's like to slow down and just be...

• that they're not sure who they'll find
• if there's anyone even there any more
• that they don't know who they are
• what they want
• what they believe in
• and whose values they're following anyway
• and when they stop they feel empty, unsure, afraid - so it's easier not to stop 
• like they've sold their soul and are feeding an addiction that they weren't aware they had 

This out of kilter habit can be broken, and whilst it might initially seem outrageous, a complete break to take stock and visit or revisit your values alone, then with your partner can be be a first step in looking at what makes a rich, full and meaningful life for you.

It's generally not something we do when we're young and may have fallen into a job without examining what it is that we value in life. We may have plodded along for years feeling vaguely dissatisfied and frustrated. Sometimes it's only when crap happens that we're confronted with the need to question and perhaps change unhealthy patterns.

Often in the act of stopping, sharing and reflecting, a new way of thinking is permitted to grow. You might choose to attend a class on sustainable living, learn to cook your own fast, nourishing foods, explore a long ignored desire to learn a language, or enrol in further study for your career.  All of these things feed into our capacity as humans to be creative learners, to be revitalised and to adapt better to a changing world. We become more flexible, less rigid, more independent and enthusiastic and less willing to follow the advertising machine blindly and without question.

In the process, some people decide that having less will actually lead them to have more. They realise there is a choice and choose to downsize and make purchases mindfully.

We've become so accustomed to being out of kilter living at breakneck speed, that it's easy to forget that having an enormous mortgage, constant pressure and irritability isn't written into our DNA. It doesn't have to be the blueprint for the future.

Borrowed money can feel like a crushing burden.

What single step will you take today in the direction of your preferred future?

Last year I wrote about the Known triggers for bullying for K in my theme of workplace bullying. Here.
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Sometimes life sucks - and 4 ways to help it suck less

I recently had the following exchange with a friend on line, and I think it taps into issues many of us face from time to time.

"There is so much wrong in the world that I sometimes cannot handle thinking about it and react with pessimistic thinking and I give up trying."

How do we get out of those periods of extreme negativity when we’re overwhelmed with all that’s wrong? I know I’ve been sucked into some very murky, gloomy places where the world just seemed to pile misery onto negativity onto gloom and then mixed it up into a wholly unappetising festering sludge. Everywhere I looked there was unhappiness, bullying, cruelty, monumental greed, corporate and Government corruption, lying, mysogynistic abuse, environmental degradation and tipping points that could lead to all sorts of truly frightening outcomes. And that’s without adding that some people are conscious of these things and also dealing with physical pain, family issues and financial woes.

You can feel out of control, like being sucked down a chute.

Sometimes it feels relentless and can be unbelievably unsettling. I remember once thinking it was as if every morning I'd wake up to an overwhelming sense of doom as if I was looking into a vile bottomless precipice and I was teetering on the edge about to overbalance. And I was too scared to look and see what I was afraid of. (more on that another time.)

I’ll be up-front and acknowledge that it’s not easy, but it IS possible to carry on with a more wholesome outlook yet not ignore societal wrongs. What I’ll share are some of the skills I’ve learned over many years. It’s not a comprehensive list, but is a start.

1. Core values
A clear knowledge of your core values is a great place to begin. It’s the bedrock for my decisions whether small or large. In an ideal world I’d base all decisions on my values, as it is it's getting more automatic the longer I do it. (Here's a glimpse into some of my core values and how I incorporate them into blogging.)

The question goes “Is this decision, or action, leading me in the direction of my core values, or away from them?”

This deceptively simple question can lead to an equally, amazingly simple answer. Yes or no. My experience is that there’s not a lot of indecision - there doesn’t seem to be a “maybe” category.

However knowing the answer doesn’t mean the following action is easy. Making choices according to your values can be excruciatingly hard, but it leaves little wriggle room. You’re making a conscious choice to accept or ignore your value/s.

Another way of thinking about this could be: “Is being miserable about the state of the world, to the extent that I am unable to act, leading me toward or away from my values?”

I'm not going down
that way!

2. Self talk
Being aware of undermining words and negative self talk is valuable. What are the phrases you use on yourself that derail your goals and values? Could it be: “Why bother, it won’t make any difference anyway”? When I become aware of the variations on that theme playing in my head, I stop, pause and breathe, three times slowly and deeply. This allows me time to regroup, and refocus on the value I choose to pursue. (More on the power of thoughtful breathing here) It’s a few moments of mindfulness that I know I can achieve.

If the negative words are particularly invasive I can remind myself  “Oh that’s just my mind getting stroppy. This is boring! I don’t want to go down that track, it’s not helpful.” It’s like putting mental blinkers on as a conscious, very deliberate choice.

3. Your backpack
Some people find it helpful to visualise putting the negative thoughts, words and pictures into a backback, visualise leaving it by the back door ready to put on when they choose. Others find it more helpful to write about or draw the issue on a piece of paper and physically put it into a real backpack, walk around with the back pack on, then take it off with a deeply exhaled breath. Then stretch as if you’ve taken off a very heavy load, breathe deeply and pursue the one action you want to address in this moment. You choose when to put the laden backpack on again.

4. Sharing with your mates
I've often talked about the importance of sharing when you're feeling overwhelmed with negativity. The negativity could be a chasm of despair, depression, fear or ... (insert your personalised word here). Some of the broad environmental, social, corporate and political issues we're facing, no matter where we are in the world, can be deeply distressing.

When we reach out to others and say something along the lines of: "I'm scared, how are you managing?" it can be uncomfortable. (Yep, that's for sure!) But by learning to be vulnerable we acknowledge our shared humanity. We allow others to reach out and both give and receive support. It's not everything. The pain and fear doesn't magically disappear, but it's a great start.

It can be hard to live according to your core values, but strangely it can help you confront your demons and strengthen resolve when the going is rocky.

• On the importance of small steps, this one to do with movement Happiness tip - Move! here
• A brief slide show with practical tips for supporting happiness choices here
• Training our minds for happiness takes discipline as described by Matthieu Riccard here

What supportive actions would you like to add to this list?

If you suspect you could be depressed please contact your health care professional, Life Line, or other support service.
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Economic growth at all costs?

How much are we prepared to gamble on continuous economic growth?

Some of you will be aware that I've been reading widely and deeply about climate change, global warming and peak oil in preparation for the A-Z blogging challenge in April. It's been a remarkable journey so far; I've met some amazing people, attended scientific lectures and corresponded with scientists, journalists and super switched on people around the globe.

What has been surprising is that far from being the devastating, miserable, depressing experience I anticipated,  I've become more resilient as I've begun to discuss openly and understand the implications of the change we're experiencing. Perhaps it's a bit like the expression: "Know thine enemy", or possibly "Knowledge is power", or as Dr Russ Harris (ACT and mindfulness expert) says: "Make friends with your demons".

With greater knowledge has come a shift in the chasm of fear I'd experienced earlier - intriguing!

That's not to say I'm not pretty spooked at times, particularly with the lack of foresight and action on the part of governments and some major companies, but far less so than 6 months ago. (I'll save my anger at the greed, lies, obfuscation and lack of ethics and integrity for another time.) Hoping that climate change, global warming and energy depletion is all a bad dream that will go away when I wake up isn't, unfortunately, going to work.


The following 6 minute video produced by the Post Carbon Institute is one of the many informative, accessible explanations of looking at the change that we are beginning to experience as cheap plentiful energy begins to decline.

They explain that the Industrial Revolution was possible due to the harvesting and use of cheap energy. We imagined that this energy was inexhaustible, and many of us in the western world have enjoyed the abundance of goodies available as growth and rampant consumerism overtook values of restraint and moderation. Many of us, including governments have borrowed against the future and are not sure how we're going to repay the debt (or even in some cases if it's possible at all).

More and more economists are questioning the wisdom of continual growth, and are expressing their concern that our current measurement of Gross Domestic Product isn't working as well as they'd been taught. It isn't measuring the health our our economies adequately - as any carer or parent knows, their work isn't included even if they're working 24/7, yet the quality of many people's lives depends on their unpaid work.

We know growth can't go on for ever. There are practical limits to our energy sources and disposal of the wastes we're producing.  The earlier we address these and aim for improvements in our lives that don't include increasing consumption of fossil fuels and other resources, and work to build local prospering communities, the easier the transition will be.

How would you measure the health of our economies?

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The A-Z blogging challenge is coming!

The A-Z Blogging Challenge: is a fun month of blogging and blog hopping and comes with a huge amount of camaraderie and lashings of support from the amazing organisers.

The idea is that during April, you link up with a thousand or more other bloggers to post each day of the month (except Sundays) starting with A on the 1st and working through the alphabet to Z on the 30th.

It was so good that I'm diving in again in 2012 even though I was blogged out by the time I got to Z in 2011!

You can see some of the things people blogged about this year towards the end of this post, and whilst you don't need a theme, it works for me and provides a good structure. Last time,  I really wanted to blog about climate change. But it was too hard, too complex, and to be honest, too darn depressing. But the idea has been playing on my mind all year, niggling and asking for my attention.

Even though I don't want to spend months researching climate related issues and immersing myself in the facts and figures, if I'm going to live according to my core values it's something I'll choose do.

Core Values:

• one of my vital core values is to connect with and spend time in the natural environment. I'd like future generations to have the opportunity to enjoy it as I do. 
• another is to be part of a community, to connect with, and be part of something bigger than my own little space in the world. It'd be great to connect with others doing their bit to make a difference. 
• a third core value is to do with education and personal development. I like to extend myself. I enjoy being educated, informing, sharing and trying to explain concepts clearly

To live comfortably with myself, I'll embrace my values and move in a direction where I act on them, even though it may be difficult. I'll try to ignore my inner demons of "Nothing's going to change", "I'm setting myself up for disappointment because no-one's interested anyway" and "Who do you think you are? You're getting too big for your boots if you think you can make a difference".

ACT: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
To help me through, I'll apply the principles of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and mindfulness meditation and make space for the feelings of anxiety and self-doubt, find room for my demons and breathe deeply into any discomfort. (Information on ACT here.)

Preparation is the key!
Rather than leaving the preparation to the last minute (silly me) like last year, when I blogged about Workplace Bullying (list of areas I covered here ), I've been thinking ahead, mulling over how to present the whole depressing schemozzle so it’s not a major turn off.

Pilfered from Burrowers, Books and Balderdash here.

But, first, I needed to drag myself out of the chasm of despair and fear that envelops me when I think about climate change and the destruction of our eco-systems. So I took some time off to relax, be inspired, blow away the cobwebs and re-energise. And it was fun!

Once upon a time, this was the seabed.
The track is at the top of a range of hills in Mutawintji National Park NSW

 After rain, the dry river bed becomes part of a river system
extending for many kilometres
Mutawintji National Park NSW.

North west NSW. 

Menindie Lakes

Click here to join the A-Z blogging challenge in 2012 with Arlee Bird and his great band of helpers.

Themes
It'd be great if you join me and the other participants who'll be blogging from A-Z in April. Not all the topics are heavy! Participants cover everything from gaming, film, books, writing, photography, painting, gardening, birds, grammar, haiku, travel, art, artists, anime, stamps, science, the solar system, old postcards, craft and everything in between. You'll meet witty, wise, poetic experienced bloggers as well as people who started blogging purely to join the fun of the challenge. It's simply amazing!

I'd like some encouraging company! I'd been feeling insignificant and scared when I allowed myself to think about climate change and environmental damage in the privacy of my head. It was only when I made veiled comments to others, including my doctor, that conversations opened up and I realised I'm not alone in with the continual sense of fear and doom. My doctor commented that he is treating more people for depression than ever before, and suspected that isolation and fear about the future may be part of the cause.

Click on the ENGAHC button at the top for more information about my theme. Please 'follow' if the topic is something you're interested in, or can contribute to. I'd like you to share your insights, stories and comments.

Do you have something you'd like to blog about?
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Happiness tip - Move!

Have you thought of having 'Happy hour' at home? Not the Friday afternoon one, guzzling cheap wine and warm beer (no offence meant to my British readers), but something a lot more personalised.

I'm referring more to doing something for yourself, something that makes you feel special and which supports your values. It doesn't have to be a major change to your routine or even take a whole hour.

I've been pulled up short a couple of times recently by friends who have ever so tactfully pointed out that I'm not practicing what I preach.

One of the things I value is feeling healthy, but I wasn't allowing any time for exercise. Not good Sue.

Movement other than from desk to car and back again had gone by the board. I'm not keen on sport and don't like gyms - but I knew I had to do something, or my poor little body was going to seize up or atrophy or something horrible. I know exercise is good for my brain, I know it's good for my body, I know I feel better when I move - but I hadn't made it a priority in my daily schedule.

If I truly value feeling healthy I need to allow that value space to flourish. It simply can't happen if I crowd the day with other stuff (including work).  But how to squeeze it in to an already full day? Happy hour for the body? It's a good ideal and might work for some, but nope, that's not going to happen for me, not every day - that would end in frustration, failure and feeling defeated.

But what I can do is start where I am, and take small, achievable steps, non threatening tiny steps, in the general direction of my value.

What I've done is set my phone alarm for twice a day to remind me to move. The alarm is a chirpily sweet bingly beep, it's lighthearted and cheerful to remind me that exercise is possible and achievable NOW! 2 or 3 minutes doesn't sound much, but it's in the direction of a core value and that's good, right? Happy minutes for my body, brain and spirit!

I've been moving more (could this be called exercise?) for a couple of months now and it's not scary or intimidating. I can do 2 or even 3 minutes (stop laughing!) and sometimes more. I have a small wooden box, just the right height to step up and down, up and down - 20 reps, twice a day, and then some twisty things to help my middle become more mobile. I know I need to keep it up for a bit longer for it to become a habit, but it's very much part of my routine, equal to brushing my teeth after meals - not a chore, not disliked, just there to be done.

The benefits so far:
a) I haven't noticed any particular loss of time from other things (like work).
b) I feel generally better physically and more energised and alive after even this small amount of movement.
c) I feel good about myself - I'm supporting a core value and feel good at achieving my simple goals.
d) I was able to walk and walk and walk in China, up steepish inclines, along rough tracks, for kilometres around Shanghai with no stiffness at all. Now, that was a real benefit and far better than any commercial 'Happy hour'. I could so easily have said: "Oh, 2 minutes is nothing, it's not worth doing". It was a direct, tangible benefit ... yippee!!

Have you been ignoring any core values that would enjoy being nurtured for a few minutes each day?

Could you spend time reflecting on your thoughts and feelings, relaxing or being mindful? 

How will you benefit?

Ping An - looking up - lots of steps! The terraces contained rice
and a wide variety of vegetables.

Ping An. Is it possible there were less
downward steps? We seemed to get back very quickly.

More China reflections over at Jumping aground.
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Wellbeing and Happiness - a link

The following slideshare came to me from the Facebook link to the Happiness and its Causes conference I attended in Brisbane in June 2011. It's an excellent visual reminder of the things that really matter in life and how to attain them.
Wellbeing and Happiness - an introduction

View more presentations from Action for Happiness

I'm back from China, and have begun to share some photos and impressions over at jumpingaground, link here.

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A path to Happiness - Meditation

At the recent Happiness and its Causes conference in Brisbane, the former scientist, now Buddhist monk, Matthieu Ricard (who is often described as the happiest man in the world), spoke about how the mind can be transformed from being agitated and anxious to a state of focused calmness, if we train it systematically. (Wiki bio here) Anxiety will be reduced, loving kindness and compassion will be increased and life is worth living because we find more meaning in it.

The unfocused, agitated mind can be trained in focused attention
We are unable to control the outer world, but we can train our mind by sitting quietly and focused, to decrease stress and improve our sense of well-being and fulfillment.

“It was only in 1998 that neuroscientists discovered that new neurons are continually being generated in the adult brain” the term that is being used is brain plasticity – great news for those of us who had believed that we were on a downhill trajectory after the age of about 25.

But it also means that just because you've been stressed, hypersensitive, or lived with ADD or ADHD all your life, it doesn't mean it has to stay that way for ever - you can start today to create positive change.

Using brain imaging and behavioural tests it’s possible to look at the inner workings of a meditator’s brain, using Western research techniques, to begin to understand the beneficial mental states achieved through meditation.

Photo of Matthieu Ricard by Waisman
Brain Imaging Lab,
University of Wisconsin - Borrowed from here

Put simply, it means that scientists can point to the parts in the brain to show that meditation works to create a happier person.

Happiness
Genuine happiness results from the deep fulfillment that arises from a healthy mind; it enables us to deal with whatever comes our way. We hear of people who appear to live in paradise, but are miserable - we know that what happens outside us doesn’t necessarily make us happy.  By adopting a few achievable techniques from the 'super meditators' like Matthieu Ricard, we learn to become less vulnerable to the vagaries of negative life events.

Highly regarded doctors, psychologists, scientists and others have been systematically gathering evidence for many years that practicing techniques such as Mindfulness Meditation, can have profound effects on our psychological health, general wellbeing and overall happiness.

Throughout the conference it was emphasized that successful meditation rests on discipline, not wishful thinking. But, most encouragingly, it is completely unnecessary to trade in your day job to become a Buddhist, or indeed any kind of monk. Just a few minutes of sustained voluntary attention each day as you pause from your regular chores is powerfully beneficial. That’s great news for those of us for whom meditation seems awkward and somewhat alien.

Interesting article about Matthieu Ricard and meditation here
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Reality TV meets the science of Positive Psychology

Making Australia Happy

Doctor Anthony Grant, one of the three presenters of the TV series, Making Australia Happy (2010) spoke at the recent Happiness and its Causes conference in Brisbane.

I wrote briefly about the series here (link). The excellent web site for the show is here (link)

The goal of the series was not to make the participants happy, but to introduce them to a number of interventions including Positive Psychology. It was hoped these would improve their levels of happiness over an eight week period. “The overarching aim of the series was to introduce positive psychology concepts to the general Australia public in order to encourage the use of scientifically validated approaches to the enhancement of wellbeing on an individual and community level.” says Dr Grant.

Participants were chosen so that the general public could identify with them; essentially they were 'the person next door'.

How happiness was measured
Dr Grant and his peers devised a happiness test, which incorporated a number of well-validated measures; this became known as the “Happy 100 Index”. (You can take the test here.) However, because the professionals wanted to go beyond a self-reported assessment, a range of physiological tests were also included, including blood pressure, stress, and sleep. Brain activity was measured before, during and after the programme.

The programme was holistic and acknowledged that diet and sleep can affect wellbeing significantly. As such, physical exercise levels, sleep patterns and diet were all examined. The participants were given feedback about the results, and sleep, exercise and dietary changes were encouraged as needed.

There was not a ‘one size fits all’ approach, but an acknowledgement that different interventions would suit different individuals.

The interventions included
     1. Eulogy. Write your own funeral speech including what you hope to be remembered for. It helps us focus on the goals and values that are most important to us.

     2. Random acts of Kindness or altruism. It’s known that doing something good for another has a positive effect on wellbeing. Participants were encouraged to engage in some form of meaningful activity for others.

     3. Mindfulness activities, exercises and training. Participants were introduced to ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) by Dr Russ Harris who also spoke at the conference. (More on this another time).

     4. Gratitude. Participants were encouraged to express appreciation and praise of others.

     5. Forgiveness. This tends to be the aspect many of us avoid addressing in our lives, and can be scary to confront. We harbour resentments, and these can be like a cancer of the soul.

     6. Reflection, review, renew. Participants were encouraged to pause and look at what was working or not.

The results
Dr Grant openly acknowledged that while he has expected some improvement in self-reported wellbeing, he had not expected the substantial improvements in the biological markers of well-being.

Participants with high blood pressure and cholesterol experienced a substantial drop in readings; levels of immunity increased as did measures of resilience.

Most interestingly, the brain scans showed less activity, participants were calmer, and as Dr Grant said in the presentation “a quiet brain is a happy brain”. A calm, happy brain is less agitated, with its owner more at ease with themselves and others.

The participants reported an increase in satisfaction with life, and this affect remained at the 6 month follow-up after filming was over. That's excellent news about things we can all adopt relatively easily.

There was no single overall most effective intervention, and although Positive Psychology sounds like it focuses only on pleasant emotions, participants were encouraged to embrace the full range of human experience – not to avoid or shy away from more challenging emotions such as sadness, grief or anger, but to build a full, rich and meaningful life accepting these emotions as part of that richness.

One of the beauties of the series that the viewer was able to relate to the participants, there was no embarrassment, cringe-worthy moments or feeling superior. I would describe it as supportive, and encouraging. These were real people trying to improve their lives. No winners, no losers, just people very much like you and me.

So if you’re feeling a bit down, a couple of things you can do RIGHT NOW (yes really) are check out your diet, turn off the electronic devices when you go to bed (all of them!) and right now, stand up, and do some gentle exercise.

If you're interested, you can do many of the exercises presented in the programme using the materials on the web site.  Here it is again!

I'm going to head off now and do 2 sets of step-ups before I begin getting dinner then I'll complete the Happiness questionairre. I wonder if I'll be game to share my score?

*If you're think you could be depressed please seek professional support - if you don't know where to start, try Beyond Blue (here), Lifeline (here) or your local GP (General Medical Practitioner).
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