Wednesday, April 13, 2011

K. Known causes - Bullying

Many bullies lack a secure sense of their own worth. There are many causes of their poor self esteem which may include the following (this isn't an exhaustive list):

  • Undiagnosed or unsupported learning difficulties with inadequate school or home support
  • May have been ridiculed for experiencing extreme frustration when seemingly easy things like reading and writing were inaccessible to them
  • May have been the butt of jokes and jeering, being called a dunce or dumb, belittled and made to stand in the corner till they 'got it right'
  • There appears to be no prospect of improvement, (which unfortunately is probably accurate due to inadequate teacher training and funding)
  • May have gone through early years at school thinking something was 'wrong' with them ("everyone else can do this spelling thing, what's wrong with me?")
  • May eventually lash out at being pushed through the schooling system without adequate support
  • Bewildered, hurt, insecure - for whatever reason - lacking hope
Some children are in the way at home, and experience relentless psychological bullying and way of life that is hard to comprehend when you experienced a loving nurturing childhood.
  • Copycat bullying may occur where a child is raised in a violent household (However, it doesn't always happen, and it isn't causal).
  • Some children are trained by parents from childhood to be bullies. This is hard to believe, but does happen.
  • Some children experience abuse and neglect from babyhood by parents who desperately needed hands on support. The parents may have drug and alcohol issues, acquired brain injuries, low IQ etc. Whatever the cause, blaming them for poor parenting skills and not providing the adequate, ongoing support they need is reprehensible.
IF these things were tackled proactively, courageously and intelligently it would lead to increased self esteem, and a decrease in aggression in many potential bullies.
The bully may have felt insignificant or faceless.
Sociopaths and psychopaths are a different breed entirely. I'll discuss them in - S: sociopaths.

Here tomorrow:  Lies (and a CELEBRATION over at jumpingaground.)

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

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Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, mostly with a climate related theme.


David L Macaulay said...

well I can't wait for lies, Sue - perversely I am on to Australia next..

sue said...

David, I wait with bated breath!

Snakesmom said...

I also hate bullying and have been following your posts on this hot topic, I have raised my kids not to bully others and to stand up for anyone who is being bullied. Keep up the great work on bringing awareness to this subject, i love your posts! :)

Tundiel said...

You make some excellent points again, Sue. I know that one particular boy who was bullying my son a few years ago had an appalling home life, which no doubt had a great deal to do with his behaviour. It's not excusable, of course, but it does help to explain things.

sue said...

Snakesmom and Tara, thanks for your comments, I'm a bit out of sync with replying, sorry. I've added a list of qualities in the child bully back on April 2nd, and will look at the qualities we try to instill in our children tomorrow in Q. I hope I will cover everything, and welcome and encourage your input. thanks. Sue