Thursday, April 14, 2011

L. Lies. Workplace bullying.

Bullies will lie to protect themselves, openly, shamelessly, and without let up. Observing it, it's hard to believe others can't or wont, see through the sham. They'll twist and manipulate events and comments to suit themselves and make themselves look good and you look foolish.

They have the shameless ability to say one thing to the target then even within seconds contradict this to a superior and leave you in the lurch if it will make them appear better in that persons eyes. If you've naively taken the heat in any way, you won't be supported or thanked.

The bully chooses to deceive and lie, it has become a habit, but it is a choice. They are unwilling to accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions, and will lie to avoid acting like a responsible adult.

They are unable to "take it on the chin"and will avoid accountability even when paying lip service to superiors.

Serial bullies pretend to be golden
but they manipulate events to
suit their own ends.
The glibness can be breathtaking the "yes of course I apologise and I can see where I acted inappropriately, it'll never happen again" may be said at an investigation. Yet minutes later this same person speaks scathingly about the incompetence of the investigators, calling them wicked witch-hunters and speaking of highly competent professionals with derisive, belittling comments. Scornful trivializing comments are made for months or years after a formal investigation - about those who investigated, as well those who gave evidence to attempt to expose the serial bully.

They will use an array of strategies to avoid accountability, possibly claiming that the 'disagreement' was simply an insignificant, trivial inability to see eye to eye, a mere personality clash, of which they are innocent in all ways. However, when one person lies and discredits another,  it is bullying, not a misunderstanding or personality clash. Bullying is the persistent, malicious undermining and vile behaviour of a person unable to hold a mature, rational discussion. The bully may hold resentments for years, and refer to wrongdoings against them ad-nauseum. They have such a desperate need to play the victim and avoid accountability that they have difficulty letting go when they fear they have been exposed.


Here tomorrow: Mind, Mates & Movement
Over at JumpingAground - A celebration - my 1st blogiversary!



Click here to find out how to do a hyperlink signature

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, often with an environmental related theme.

.

6 comments:

Arlee Bird said...

I tend to be very gullible in many ways. I always want to believe people so badly that I'll give them a wide berth. At the same time I tend to be distrustful so I watch closely to see through any cracks that may appear. When the lies become obvious and I can present absolute evidence then I'm ready to pounce. I dislike lying.


Lee
Tossing It Out

sue said...

Arlee, it sounds like you've had your fingers burnt, and are acting rationally and sensibly if that's the case. I don't see it as gullible to expect adults to behave responsibly and with integrity. I like the word 'pounce', good on you. I wrote a drabble about lying it's here (I hope if i did that right, still learning!

AllMyPosts said...

Well, thanks for the links.

I just thought bullies are people with problems from deep within!! People who want help and can't ask!!

Never thought in this angle!!

with warm regards
<a href="http://becomingprince.blogspot.com > CatchyTips for Writers </a>

sue said...

AMP, there are many angles to this complex topic, and it's challenging to do them justice. The links will take you to news articles as well as research papers. Glad to have introduced you to some new ideas.

Targeted said...

I just found your blog and this article fits right into what I am experiencing with my ex bullying boss. The lies being stated. Long story short, when a bully begins to be exposed the lies start.

I wrote a blog about my experience and have posted your blog, great information. You can visit my blog at http://bulliedatworknetwork.blogspot.com/
Thanks, Targeted

Gervais said...

Very helpful piece of writing, much thanks for this article.
manufacturer coupons printable | Colleges in NJ | water parks in NJ