Procrastination

Why didn't I act when I saw him last night? I had the chance, but ignored it.

He'd been watching me for hours, with his beady eyes, hobnail boots, fangs and horns.

Ready, biding his time before springing unexpectedly as I walked hesitantly, nervously through the door.

But no. I procrastinated yet again. Will I ever learn?

I forgot about his silent presence overnight, but this morning remember his stealth, not with dread, loathing or fear. More, as two adversaries sizing each other up, opponents equal in status if not size. But he's gone. Not parading his ownership of this space any longer.

I wait, unsure when, or even if he'll jump.

Will a long, slender, elegantly hairy leg be extended coyly from behind a picture frame, curtain rod or dresser, waving seductively, sneering at my inability to reach him?

Oh no. A dreadful thought appears in my brain. He wouldn't would he? That would be ... explosive?... gripping?  I'm unsure which, but NOT... shudder ... from inside the toilet roll ... NO!

To spray would be unsporting,

but then again ...

In stealth mode

Fully kitted out with hobnail boots

How do you procrastinate? At work? In your career? In life?

For the curious, the Huntsman was as big as the palm of my hand and is still in hiding (hence the sketches).  If female I bet she's laid a squillion eggs by now.  I suppose I'd better be prepared for company.

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Blogging benefits? Revisited from CDAA workshop 2010.

Back on the 19th April 2010 after speaking at the CDAA (Career Development Association of Australia) conference in Adelaide, and at the beginning of this blog's life I asked myself the following question:

"Why have I created this blog?" 


At my workshop and others, as well as in informal gatherings, there'd been a lot of discussion about whether blogging and other social media could in any way benefit CD practitioners. I understood benefit to mean "can it help us grow our profile and get more business?" Growing your business isn't a bad goal when you're a private practitioner. Or was it just going to be a timewaster?

If you're going to spend up to *2 hours per day or more on social media it needs to be worthwhile. This of course begs the question of one's definition of 'worthwhile' ;)

*I really didn't believe this figure when I first heard it, I thought I must have misheard, and they meant 2 hours per week: surely it couldn't take two hours per day could it? Yes, it probably will.

Dinosaur bead, a visual reminder not to be one

Not wanting to be a dinosaur, and with the expectation that our ppt's would be available for members to access after the conference, I jumped in - I figured that putting the ppt on a blog would be the least stressful option given that mine consisted mainly of pictures that needed explanation.

 - That's the rationale for the creation of the blog -

Of course, life doesn't do what you expect, and as I've discovered, neither do blogs.

What have I learnt?

That blogging is really good for the things I initially thought it would be (this was my list from 19th April)

• clarifying thoughts
• neatness in presentation
• 'morning papers' as recommended by my mentor
• thinking aloud to work through problems
• self expression: finding out what I really think (at this moment)

It worked well for sharing the ppt. An added bonus was reminding myself why I wanted to work in a variety of settings rather than for one employer.

But the blog is valuable for all sorts of other things 

• communicating with clients on themes that a number of them are working on
• connecting with people outside my usual group - it's a whole new exciting world!
• stretching myself by exploring different ways of writing (not many of which I post)
• creativity - trying to make the posts more visually appealing by adding photos
• clear thinking and articulation of ideas (an ongoing battle)
• self confidence
• a challenge

It hadn't occurred to me that I would still be posting reasonably regularly 6 months down the track. I'd tried sending out a monthly newsletter via my website, but I never managed even a measly one. NOT ONE after months of procrastination, so to be here after 6 months is a real achievement. I'm kind of pleased with myself.

From a professional perspective

Has it been worthwhile? Yes.

Can you earn an income from it? I'm still unsure about that, but it's not my primary motivation.

Will I continue? Yes, I hope so.

There are times when I'm not exactly sure what shape this bloggy creature is taking, and I'm reminded of the wonderful poem "Interview" by Sydney Carter (I suspect it'd break copyright to include the whole poem, so I'll only include the last verse).

Where are you going next?

Like you, I ask that question.

I can only travel with the music.

I am full

of curiosity.

But perhaps I could, for once in my life, live with the curiosity, go with the flow and not overload myself with trying to understand the medium?

Mindfulness

I've woken up this morning with my eyes puffy and sore; it looks like I'll need to try a new hay fever medication. I stopped taking horseradish and garlic last year when I got up to needing 15+ per day to stop the sneezing and itchiness. So I'm trying the pharmacy stuff, which so far had been pretty good. But today my left eye is horribly itchy and red and not focusing properly. Sigh. I figured that fresh flowers always lift my spirits so went out and cut some gorgeously fragrant roses all wet with the rain. Why do earwigs love getting between the petals? There's dozens of them scurrying around busily trying to hide from my flicking fingers, so I  tried to shake them off only to have the delicate petals cascade around me like the shredded paper waiting to be composted.  Sigh. Perhaps I'd better put the secateurs down before I drop them on my toes.  And why does spell check tell me I've spelt secateurs wrong? The only option it's giving me is sectors, and that's not what you cut rose stems with is it. In all, I'm feeling a bit out of sorts. Quite grumpy in fact. And my tea went cold. Again. Sigh. I wonder if it's ok to microwave it for the third time?

Perhaps I'll take a photo of the roses and put it in here so it's in front of me. And no, I'm not going to be tempted to put them in the vase anywhere near my computer. Even though they'd smell beautiful. I can just see where that'd lead :(

Grumpy sigh.

Hmm, that was interesting.




This photo didn't do anything for me at all ....

But this one did.

By stepping back a bit and tweaking a couple of dust collectors, it worked :)

Good, strong symbols of challenges overcome. 

A small blue "Nessie" made by a cousin in Uig on the Isle of Skye: family difficulties faced squarely and courageously - yes that's encouraging.

A little bear from Berlin, doing a handstand - whimsical - fun. But also representing so much more - a country divided, reunited. Anguish and heartache. So much achieved, so much further to go - it can be done.

A small Asian figurine: Probably Japanese, but to me representing the courage of the Chinese populace struggling to achieve a greater level of transparency and democracy in their government. Huge challenges, chipping away, confronting massive obstacles, prepared to risk their own safety for the benefit of others.

The grasses: clifftop walks, (hay-fever free) - companionship and love.

Good stuff.

Interesting how my mood is lightening.


And lastly because I got sidetracked when I was uploading the photos: The Young Endeavour, recently moored off our local beach.
Teenagers and young adults overcoming fears, and really pushing themselves beyond what they thought was possible. Laughing, happy and so proud when we got chatting to them and offered to take a group photo. The Bay, tranquil, clear, ozone rich. I breathe deeply just looking at the photo.

Hmmm. In my grumpy state, I'd overlooked the power of Mindfulness Meditation in its various guises.

It's a good reminder to just stop and be. Breathe calmly, slowly and deeply.

My physical symptoms are the same, but my mood is so different.

Sigh of contentment :)

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Add 'yet' to your vocabulary

All too often my students and clients say to me "I can't do it".

It's such a final statement, one which puts a full stop under learning, signs it off and tucks it away in a dungeon somewhere far away. Hands thrown up in despair and with a sense of failure and dejection. You get the picture, and it's rather bleak.

Maybe at this stage in their lives they genuinely feel unable to complete the task even with help and support. But there is one word I encourage them to add EVERY TIME they hear those words come from their mouth, no matter how sullenly uttered. And I get them to repeat the new phrase to me until it begins to roll naturally off their tongue.

Simply, add the three letter word "yet" to the sentence.

Just by doing this allows a breath of hope into the equation. It allows for growth, change and a whole new approach to the task.

So "I can't do it" becomes "I can't do it yet" with the unspoken "But maybe someday I will be able to".

And "I don't have the confidence" becomes "I don't have the confidence yet" with the unvoiced "But maybe someday I will".

It's liberating. Shoulders unhunch, faces relax, the sense of hopelessness and frustration some students and job hunters experience begins to loosen its grip.

Don't underestimate the power in adding this one, three letter word to negative sentences!



Please feel free to share your experience and comments.

My dentist is a plumber?

It's nearly December, hooray :D

No, it's not that Summer is coming and that I hope to spend time at the beach, and it's not the thought of daylight saving and those long evenings inviting exercise (no certainly not that) no, nor is it that Christmas is nearly here. It's something much more mundane, but exciting nonetheless.

What I omitted in the previous blog about The Mind & it's Potential conference I attended so enthusiastically last year is that on the final day, I was struck by a vicious debilitating pain in my head. It was almost impossible to detect the exact location as the pain seemed to be everywhere. I was nauseous and uncomfortably disoriented, I felt so ill it was horrible.

Not one to remember to pack the panadol, I staggered down to the nearest pharmacy, gulped 2 tablets, and way before the 4 hours recommended between doses, gulped 2 more - something my nursing friends assure me isn't a good idea, but what the heck, I was desperate.

Once the pain subsided a tad, I was able to locate the source, and trace it to - a tooth, oh, but not just any tooth, to be more precise, one of those grinding ones way down the back.  You know, the ones that are hard for the dentist to explore without fitting a whole armory of instruments in your mouth. (And they only do this after injecting enough anaesthetic for a bull elephant which leaves you dribbling for hours and unable to talk clearly) I think one of the bits of hardware I least like is the one they use to winch your mouth open wider - or possibly it's the one they use to hook onto your mouth that they seem to hang other implements off - or maybe ... perhaps it's better not to go on, I'm starting to dribble just thinking about it all.

I think this is one of the few times I've eagerly looked forward to visiting the dentist. ANYTHING to get rid of the pain, and the swelling, and the red blotchy heat rash on my cheek, and the general feeling of constant nausea - I'd decided by this time that I just possibly had an abscess (nothing like a bit of self diagnosis is there?)

The verdict? Antibiotics and two options.

Option 1:  Have it out  -  just a small procedure. Day surgery with a dental surgeon "WHAT!?", Relatively straightforward ... considering "WHAT!?"

Oh, and an anaesthetist "WHAT!?". But you'll pull through pretty quickly ... considering "WHAT!?"  You're kidding, that doesn't sound  er how do I phrase this, insignificant, in fact it sounds somewhat major, and unpleasant, and not fun at all.

And the other option? Root canal. Probably take 3 or 4 months, a visit a month, but you'll need to see the whiz-bang, super dooper, lots of extra postgrad courses and ultra exclusive dentist to do that, and they'll need to check it out first to see if it's possible anyway. "What do you mean to see if it's possible!?" Oh, and can you take out a second mortgage on your home. To cover costs, you understand?

Ok, that last is a bit of an exaggeration, but only a bit.

The very thought of prolonged treatment brought on sweaty palms, uspet stomach and general unease.

However, strangely it seemed better than surgery. Tangled roots, that was the problem, trying to explore up into my brain, ugh. I'm assured that's what killed Tutenkhamen, an untreated abscess on a tooth that poisoned his brain. Painfully. Oh dear.

"Call me Serena". (not her real name, but fitting nonetheless)

Ok, this is a good start, not a hoity toity, pretentious professional with her impressive array of awards and quals on the wall.

How can I best describe her? Petite. Severely short hair. Exuding an aura of calm confidence (a definite plus) And seriously funky clothes, just glimpsed before she donned the bland white gown. And the shoes. I think it was those that had me convinced that here was a woman after my own heart. Amazing, don't muck with me, leather, attention seeking, fabulous funky footwear. Definitely NOT bought locally. (* Asked her later on; England was the origin of said shoes.) How could I not trust her?

I was just a little alarmed when she described herself as a glorified plumber.

R i g h t.  That's not exactly how I want the person working on this pesky tooth to describe herself. Last time I worked with plumbing students, I'm confident they could begin an apprenticeship in their mid teens. And I couldn't quite visualize any of those blokes having the delicate hand to scrape out the tiniest roots that were giving me so much grief. So her description of her work was a little perplexing; or perhaps unsettling could be a better word.

But she insisted. "It's just the scale that's different. We both work with tubes and scrapers and plugs and brushes to scour out drainage channels". Hmm, I'm still not convinced, but I'll defer to her expertise with this.

However we forged ahead, me with ipod plugged in ear, and eyes firmly closed. Her concentrating, no noise, no distractions, little discussion, just the occasional direction to the nurse, total concentration.  Full marks!

And the reason I'm excited about it being almost December: that's when Serena removes the irritating band that's been holding the whole shebang together. Nine months of scraping and tongue fiddling, and annoyance. It'll be such a relief to have it gone, and replaced with a slick cap. (Should I go diamond studded like one man I met, or just plain gold which they tell me is kinder in your mouth than other metals)

*Serena's professional title is "endodontist", which apparently means 'inside the tooth' not the ends of the tooth as I thought. Well, it gave my regular dentist a laugh at my recent checkup.

No thank you

Have you ever experienced that uncomfortable feeling after you've been shopping, and found yourself at home with a LBD (Little Black Dress) or pair of shoes that is clearly ill-fitting or unflattering, and you wonder how on earth you were talked into the purchase? You go through the whole: "What on earth was I thinking?" scenario. But because the shop was off your normal route or interstate or something, you're stuck with the item in question, and it'll probably clog up the wardrobe for years till you get over the guilt of wasting hard earned money and finally put it out for the op shop.

The scenario may have gone something like this - you spy a funky pair of shoes/LBD, and they're on sale! Wheeee. You squeeze your foot in, try to wriggle your toes ... but aren't they cute! Mmmm, they're just a tiny bit tight, and the heel slips a bit when you walk. You're wavering ...

"No worries" says the sales assistant. "Just pop down to Mr Bootman, and he can put them on the stretching machine/fit an insole/ add a buckle".

They'll be perfect :D

(you put up a weak argument, but it feels ineffectual in the face of all that confidence)

It really isn't a problem at all :D

(You try to justify that is could be a problem, but the oozing confidence seems to undermine your conviction - the item is simply gorgeous isn't it - and it might fit one day mightn't it?)

They're just for dress, it's not like they're a running shoe. They'll be just fine, I'll just ring up the sale now?

And before you know it, you've been manipulated into buying a pair of shoes/dress/whatever that need attention BEFORE you can wear them.

Get a grip! Do you really need to spend money to get something that you know isn't right for you?

But what's going on here really?

Sometimes, it's almost as if we're intimidated by the salesperson, and feel the need to justify our decision.

We don't.

Unfortunately, however, some salespeople aren't going to quietly accept your choice, and will put up quite a spirited counterattack. Many have been expertly trained, and are well practiced in spotting a potential sale. Your purchase may be the final one needed for that employee to be awarded Most Skillful Salesperson, and receive assorted benefits.

Your response could feel a bit unnatural at first, and might take a bit of practice to get right. But remember that there is no unwritten law that says you need to give a reason to a salesperson for your decision NOT to purchase an item.

So at the first nanosecond when you doubt that the item in question is right. STOP. Remove garment/shoes from body, and say politely and confidently "No thanks, I won't take them/it".

That's it. Nothing more is needed, no apology, no explanation, no justification.  But not aggressive, that's not necessary.

:D - oh but they/it looks lovely on you

No thanks I don't want them.

:D - they look fabulous/they're the last pair/they're a bargain/the colour is perfect on you/it's so flattering

And ALL you need to repeat is "No thankyou, I don't want them" as you walk politely towards the door.

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A variation on this technique can be used at FastFood outlets when you're asked 'do you want fries/drink/upsizing' with that? Or at the petrol station when you're offered a miniscule discount on fuel if you also buy 4 litres of milk. Or at the bookstore when they offer a 3 for the price of 2. Or any of the places where you're being persuaded to purchase things you neither want nor need.

It's your choice:  choose wisely and thoughtfully.

A Conference revisited.

I'm not going to "The Mind & it's Potential"conference this year. I'd love to, and it's in a lovely part of the world, but it's just not going to happen.

The advertising blurb is enticing, and the conference will touch on many of the things I'm interested in, education, lifelong learning, psychology, philosophy and unlocking our potential all of which impact on Career Development in all its phases.

"World leaders in neuroscience, education, psychology, business, and the arts will show how we can harness the brain's plasticity to enhance our skills, unlock our potential and change our "habits of mind" for lifelong learning."  

Yep, it certainly sounds like it'd be worth attending.

There was so much talk about brain plasticity and how we don't degenerate as had been thought - sadly, there was no discussion on wallet plasticity, and mine certainly doesn't grow and strengthen with use, and seems to be thinning inexplicably.

Last year was simply wonderful. Three days of high energy brain food, excellent Mindfullness Training, sessions on Learning Difficulties and personality, lots of research on exercise and how we need to incorporate it into every day life without fail. (Why is this so hard to do? I'm sure walking to the letterbox doesn't count as exercise, or does it?)

Each day was chock full of the exciting research that's going on into the brain, its plasticity, and how the new discoveries are impacting on our everyday life. Simply fabulous science presented by enthusiastic people who till then had only been names in newspapers or journals.

The neurosurgeon Charlie Teo showed footage of an operation he'd conducted, and discussed how a tumor had changed the personality of a young girl, and how it's removal gave her hope of living a normal life.  I'm usually extremely, uncomfortably squeamish seeing inner bits of the body being sliced and this was VERY detailed, and projected LARGE to allow everyone to see. But he made it interesting by discussing what he was doing during different phases of the operation. It was simply fascinating. If ever I get an 'inoperable' brain tumor (which I sincerely hope I don't) I'm going to him.


I'd been to hear HH the Dalai Lama some years ago, but hadn't heard of Allan Wallace who'd been trained by him and who conducted a whole day experience in Mindfulness Meditation. This was teaching at its best. From a man who knows and loves his work/life, and is able to share his depth of knowledge oh so elegantly.

It was interesting watching the security surrounding HH the Dalai Lama. His presence certainly gave a whole besuited, earplugged, buff crew a pay day (or more), but he remained gracious to all and sundry no matter how restricted his movements.

This was also my introduction to the Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument (HBDI) and I had a ball at that session. Not only was I introduced to a satisfying new instrument, but the presenter Michael Morgan was outstanding. Some people seem to have a natural knack in presenting, but as with so many things, I expect a lot of preparation had gone into it. I'd like to be qualified in the HBDI as I can see it being of use in so many areas in the everyday life of my clients, from parenting to small business planning to career change and working towards retirement. (Note to self: feed wallet)

So although I can't attend this year, I'm not going to moan; what I'll do is get out the 2009 conference handbook and my notes and reread them, look at the website, and check out the links they send me periodically.

Writing this has made me realize there's so much I've forgotten, it'll be good to make time to refresh my memory and work on its plasticity.