Sometimes you wake up with a thought, sparked by a recent news story about local politics and the possibilities cascade joyously. You can see the cover captions which inspired this post here.
To clarify for international readers, this is a very tongue in cheek look at one of our politicians - aka the leader of the opposition, who is trying to improve his image and appeal to women. He regularly comes across as a pugnacious misogynist and recently the women in his family rallied around telling us that really he's very sensitive.
Within months of its launch, the New Franchise #sensitivetony, has become a sensation, making a splash across all states and territories of our wonderful nation.
#sensitivetony, reportedly owned by Big Mal, provides door to door, blue ribbon, household services to the domestic market.
You may have seen the friendly, fuel efficient little vans pootling around the suburbs with their fetching logo and tasteful colour scheme. Attractive in the extreme, these have been seen popping up everywhere, dashing hither and thither … some say a bit like an over-excited flea.
All applicants to represent the #sensitivetony franchise are put through a rigorous selection proceedure. Some high profile media identities have been refused a position even though they are desperate to improve their overall community standing after reportedly falling out with some segments of their formerly one-eyed market. Their strident, dismissive and arrogant attitude towards women and divisive and insensitive cultural comments are decidedly at odds with the values of the eco-friendly, ethical, warm hearted franchise.
Whilst #sensitivetonys aren’t selected for their looks (no eye candy here ladies!) they are expected to be able to hold intelligent conversations on a range of social issues with the most discerning of householders.
Unfortunately the occasional #sensitivetony has blundered publicly and exhibited a lacklustre performance, potentially tainting the reputation of the franchise. This occurred due to the initial scarcity of #sensitivetonys and early teething problems, resulting in awkward attempts at covering up by those with closest involvement to the humiliating episode. (In the interests of public awareness and "buyer beware" this is shared here.)
#sensitivetony plugged on bravely despite the very public prime-time gaff, however he was required to undertake remedial training in how to "Comprehend and Discuss Complex Issues". This module has now become a core competency for all #sensitivetonys, with a pass grade of 90% being the minimum standard acceptable.
Sustainability is the catchphrase of this franchise!
All cleaning products used are environmentally friendly. Where palm oil is an ingredient, it’s sourced from rigorously vetted, sustainable plantations. This is a service you can trust!
Some families are fortunate to have a #sensitivetony at their beck and call, and whilst they rarely brag publicly they’re quietly proud to have him around. For the rest of us, however, we’re able to share the love, thanks to Big Mal’s new #sensitivetony home help service.