traverselife

Is it time to address the imbalance?

2012-02-09T11:04:00.001+11:00

His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama:

We have bigger houses but smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense;
more knowledge but less judgement;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicines but less healthiness.

We've been all the way to the Moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet our new neighbour.

We built more computers to hold more copies than ever,
but have less real communication.

We have become long on quantity,
but short on quality.

These are times of fast foods but slow digestion;
tall men but short characters;
steep profits but shallow relationships.

It's a time when there is much in the window

But nothing in the room.

GM foods - why is the public suspicious?

2012-01-31T17:21:00.000+11:00

The video link to Science Under Attack from SBS On Demand will only be available for 13 days from the date of posting in this blog - it will expire by the 12th Feb 2012. The documentary looks at the responsibility of scientists to present their findings in a way that is understandable by everyday people. Link here.

The programme is described as follows "Nobel Prize winner Sir Paul Nurse examines why science appears to be under attack, and why public trust in key scientific theories has been eroded - from the theory that man-made climate change is warming our planet, to the safety of GM food, or that HIV causes AIDS."

It's well worth viewing to get a feel for the complexity of the scientific process and the challenges scientists face. However there was one aspect that I felt could have been explored in much more depth and that is the suspicion surrounding GM foods.

I've read that the advances in technology of genetically modified food and disease resistant strains are what will be vital for our very survival as our climate becomes more volatile. That I understand.

The missing link in my mind was the discussion about how companies doing the research into GM foods take complete control over seed 'ownership' and via laws such as the NZ Food Bill, threaten the health, livelihood and resilience of communities the world over.

Powerful companies could also manipulate data to hide adverse findings and gag or dismiss whistle blowers such as is reported to have happened with United States FDA scientists and doctors studying medical devices for patients including those with cancer. Link here.

The Food and Drug Administration secretly monitored the personal e-mail of a group of its own scientists and doctors after they warned Congress that the agency was approving medical devices that they believed posed unacceptable risks to patients, government documents show.

It would appear that business interests of the FDA took precedence over the safety concerns of its own reputable professionals. These professionals are reported to have since been dismissed.

"Information garnered this way [accessing private emails] eventually contributed to the harassment or dismissal of all six of the FDA employees, the suit alleges. All had worked in an office responsible for reviewing devices for cancer screening and other purposes".

There was apparently a claim that the whistle blowing "improperly disclosed confidential business information about the devices" even though the the scientists and doctors working on the devices "believed [they] posed unacceptable risks to patients."

I'll now move on to a bill (NZ Government Food Bill 160-2) which apparently allows for a range of very restrictive controls about what citizens may or may not grow in the privacy of their back yard, and how they choose to sell or barter their produce, how often they can sell it, as well as how they gather and share seed.

New Zealanders are understandably outraged. They have a fantastic system of roadside stalls and vibrant local communities interested in becoming increasing self sufficient.

They grow interesting varieties of fruit and vegetables for sale at roadside stalls, for trading at food co-ops, for bartering as well as for fun!

The NZ Government Food Bill is reportedly backed by the very same FDA mentioned above. The same group who appear to have gagged and bullied their own employees, the employees who alerted the US Congress to concerns about unacceptable risks in some medical devices. If it is indeed the same FDA, no wonder New Zealanders are concerned.

A comprehensive discussion is here with links to more in-depth commentary. Here is a short excerpt from the post:

I read that the bill is being brought in because of the WTO, which of course has the US FDA behind it, and of course that is influenced by big business (Monsanto and other players). It looks like this NZ food bill will pave the way to reduce the plant diversity and small owner operations in New Zealand, for example by way of controlling the legality of seed saving and trading/barter/giving away; all will be potentially illegal. The best website to read about the problems with the new bill is http://nzfoodsecurity.org

By controlling seeds, the bill takes the power to grow food away from the public and puts it in the hands of seed companies.

Growing food for distribution must be authorised, even for “cottage industries”, and such authorisation can be denied.

Under the Food Bill, Police acting as Food Safety Officers can raid premises without a warrant, using all equipment they deem necessary – including guns.

Seed banks and seed sharing networks could be closed down in they don't get sufficient approval.

More information here.

Globally we're facing increasingly severe and extreme climate events. We face immense challenges associated with rapidly depleting fossil fuel reserves. Resourceful communities do not need restrictive bills that could erode their vital formal and informal networks as they face these challenges with courage and hope. They need support, not demoralising restrictions.

Already communities around the world are working diligently to be more self reliant and self sufficient. This should be celebrated and supported by all levels of government - not dangerously restricted. That these bills play into the hands of companies and organisations some of which have a track record of not having the best interests of the community at heart is disgusting.

Too few people in too few companies have too much power. They are showing obscene levels of greed and manipulation to ensure they rule absolutely. They are acting like bullies. Unfortunately many governments are bowing to the pressure. That's wrong. We all suffer.

No wonder there is a climate of distrust surrounding GM foods and some of the companies promoting them.

It's a shame this aspect wasn't covered in the programme as I suspect the problem lies not so much with the food produced but with the companies involved.

A petition objecting to this bill is here.

And, just in: Monsanto voted worst company of 2011 by Natural Society -- for "threatening both human health and the environment." here

and Monsanto to face biopiracy charges in India here

What do you think?
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Where are our wise leaders?

2012-01-30T14:48:00.000+11:00

Even though this post isn't about our physical health, it's a good analogy for the scenarios unfolding with some restrictive laws worldwide. Bear with me for a few moments while I explain that there is a cost to us not taking an interest in and acting on information about censorship of the internet, and how it's a little like not having a health checkup and acting thoughtfully on any scary results.

As men and women we are advised to regularly have check ups and for a good reason, they can detect problems before they become serious so they can be treated appropriately.

The same as it's wise to understand your personal health issues, it's important for all of us to understand the current issue with censorship (as best we can with the information available). I urge you to be informed and make up our own minds independently of those who have vested interests in filtering information for their own ends. It's not fun, but it is sensible to know what is at stake for our collective and societal health.

Below is a video that gives easy to understand information about internet censorship as currently proposed and/or has been legislated on depending on your country. From what I can understand, those in positions of power appear to have been caught up in the fear mongering about issues like child porn, piracy and terrorism. They appear to have made hasty knee jerk decisions that result in the cure being worse than the disease - apparently most countries already have adequate laws and ACTA is an additional act.

Child porn? Yes it's an issue. It won't go away with passing this draconian law. People into child porn will find another way to get their fix. To pretend otherwise is wishful thinking.
Piracy? Is it really the issue the big media companies and their mega million dollar industries claim? Not according to specialists in the field. Sensible alternatives to the censorship bills have been suggested.
Terrorism? Bad stuff, but have you noticed that terrorists don't seem to worry about laws? They overlook them. Terrorism in one form or another has, unfortunately, been around for millennia. They'll find a way around these censorship laws as well.

The possibility of excessive legislation being used inappropriately and in the interests of big business to gag whistleblowers is huge, and could be a serious threat to our respective democracies.

We need whistle blowers in our society. These people show amazing courage in exploring and shedding light on corruption. We mightn't like what they tell us, but they expose injustice, corporate wrongdoing and coverups. Ultimately society is strengthened as a direct result of their actions. People, groups and communities who share information on social justice issues could be gagged by those with vested interests. That's wrong. In addition, the bills appear to be unwieldily, cumbersome and staggeringly expensive to implement effectively, fairly and ethically.

These bills can apparently affect free access to all sorts of information from educational material, open political discussion, discussion about the how our food is manufactured and tainted (think of the melamine scandal in China) environment, health, and scientific matters is frightening.

Personally I'm glad there were courageous whistle blowers in China. Companies shouldn't have been lacing milk products with melamine - this is the kind of thing we need to know and be able to share without fear of retribution.

This video is quite long. However it's a very informative presentation of copyright (which sounds impossible, but it's true!) It's easy to listen to and clearly presented. I urge you to listen - the main speaker begins about 10 minutes in.

And if after listening, you decide to take action in the form of signing a petition you can do that here.

Hyperlink signature for the A-Z Blogging Challenge

2012-01-28T12:48:00.000+11:00

Non technical, non threatening instructions for making a hyperlink signature!

Why do you want a hyperlink signature?
• You've signed up for the A-Z April Blogging Challenge
• You plan to comment on other bloggers posts in a caring and sharing way after The Challenge has finished
• You hope the person for whom you crafted a kindly word, will come to visit your blog in return
• You want to make it easy to visit your blog. You don't want them to have go to your profile page, scroll down, find you have 3 or even 8 blogs, and wonder which one to look at first
• Sadly, people give up in frustration if it's not easy to work out which is the relevant blog
• The nifty signature will take them to the specific blog (or post) you'd like them to visit. Easy!

How to do it:
The letters and symbols below are what the computer needs to navigate to your blog or post, (and you wouldn't believe how hard it was to find a blog title that hadn't been taken!) I've colour coded it for ease, normally it's all in black, and appears more or less in one line. It's only broken up like this because I put it on a powerpoint slide so you can see it. (Otherwise it goes straight into a hyperlink signature which wouldn't help you at all.)

All you do is copy those letters and symbols out - the whole lot up there, exactly the same (but of course with your personal, relevant information) - including the space after the a - into a Word document or equivalent. Don't add anything else. Save it where you can refer to it easily.

Next. Where it's red is where you put your blog address (what you originally called your blog - if you can't remember click on the title of your blog and check in the address bar at the top of your page.) But of course you do it in black, not red.

Now choose your signature. Are you going to use your real name, the name of your blog, a nom de plume or what? Type that in where I've used blue. That will become your hyperlink or 'clicky' signature, and is what I should see in the comments section when you copy/paste from your saved word document.

That's all! It should work.

Please, please, please, feel free to give it a go here. I was nervous the first time I tried it in public, thinking I'd stuff it up (which I did about 4 million times before I got it right). I won't be critical if you get it wrong...honest! Please ask for help if you get stuck I can usually help via email.

If my fictitious Ruby really did have a Machinima blog, this is what she'd be working on. I'm envious!

The demise of democracy?

2012-01-25T10:35:00.000+11:00

East Side Gallery. Berlin 2009.

I wonder how many citizens of the US are aware of the deep concern many of us in the rest of the world have about what is happening in your country right now.

The passing by President Obama of the NDAA bill on New Year's Eve is truly frightening.

Are you aware that US citizens are able to be detained indefinitely without trial in their own country?

We know this happens in China, North Korea and other countries around the world. We see the fear and anguish of family and friends not knowing what has happened to their loved ones. They're not allowed to visit, they lose their rights - and they have no ability to speak out, to complain, to prove their innocence.

We get all self righteous and complain, often loudly, when innocent people are detained indefinitely in "other countries", we march, we write letters, we stick our noses in and agitate for change - for them to be more like us.

Is this the 'us' we want them to be more like?

This video is a mere 6 minutes. It's worth watching.

What would you want your loved ones to do if you were detained indefinitely without trial? Who would you turn to?

Wouldn't you wish they'd at least tried to have the bill removed? Wouldn't you want them to say "I did my best, I agitated, I wrote letters to the papers, I marched, I spoke out."

Is it better to speak out and fail than not to speak out at all?

The power of words -

2012-01-23T19:43:00.000+11:00

and the effects can last a lifetime.

I would like to give full credit to the artist/author of this powerful, thought provoking shot. If anyone knows where it came from please let me know.

Why vote?

2012-01-18T14:59:00.004+11:00

"In the face of all the challenges we face today, is my optimism about the future of humanity idealistic? Perhaps it is. Is it unrealistic? Certainly not. To remain indifferent to the challenges we face is indefensible. If the goal is noble, whether or not it is realized within our lifetime is largely irrelevant. What we must do therefore is to strive and persevere and never give up." His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

Some years ago I was flabbergasted when a friend I had previously respected said he had never voted. He insisted it wasn't because he was lazy or disinterested, but that it was his way of objecting to the whole political system and what he perceived as corruption and politicians being bought out by big business. At that stage my primary objection was that thousands of men and women had fought to preserve our democracies. They'd lost their limbs, minds and lives to ensure we wouldn't live under tyrants in various guises. The choice not to vote seemed a cop out to me.

I've thought about that conversation a lot since, and here's my current thinking about why I believe it's important for everyone to vote - particularly in countries where voting isn't compulsory.

I've counted electoral votes here in Australia, where voting is compulsory, and have seen first hand how important every vote is. Individually it doesn't seem to matter much, and it's easy to imagine your single vote is insignificant. But when your voice joins in with hundreds and thousands of others it has an effect. It can unsettle some candidates who thought they were sitting pretty and encourage others for next time. (Interview with a new candidate here) It can make candidates think - they listen to the mass of voices.

Are you visible?
Some people, I know, are concerned that voting undermines your freedoms. A position I admit I have difficulty understanding. Consider the following: When you choose not to vote, you become invisible. Well orchestrated, powerful groups with vested interests and very deep pockets will mobilise their forces and take over to manipulate the result to support their ends. Do lobby groups sit back complacently and do nothing? No, because they know how important voting is - they want to have the loudest voice, they want to be visible.

Who speaks for you?
Each time you choose not to vote, each time you remain silent and don't speak out against corruption, injustice and environmental degradation, you willingly give your power to others who are prepared to make the effort. They speak on your behalf whether you agree with them or not. You give your freedom away to those who will happily grab and run with the mandate to do what they will.

There are repercussions around the globe because our systems are so interlinked.

By choosing to take an interest and voting "with intent", you make it more difficult for extremist and special interest groups to manipulate: You make it difficult for them to manipulate the economy, to manipulate the finance sector, to manipulate the environment - for obscene profits and payments, all of which are unsustainable and frankly, disgusting given the inequities around the globe.

You give away your freedoms. The result is the potential undermining of our collective freedoms. The outcome of elections in one country impacts on those of us in other countries, and not always for the better.

Once freedoms have been lost, they're incredible difficult, and possibly impossible to claw back. Don't let that happen.

To use the excuse that elections are a foregone conclusion is completely unconvincing. It's as pathetic as not applying for a job because you don't have the perfect set of requirements. If you sit back and don't do anything, of course you'll get a crap result.

I've heard people say "I don't vote, it just encourages them", "My vote won't make any difference so I won't bother" Pah! There's another saying down here in Australia, we vote to "Keep the bastards honest".

Of course it doesn't always go the way I want, but I enjoy the liberty, the freedom, the joy and frustration of democracy in action. Having travelled extensively in countries where freedom is a dangerous dream, where to speak out in favour of democracy and against corruption can lead to indefinite detention, where extreme censorship is part and parcel of everyday life, the ability to vote freely for the candidate of my choice is something I don't take lightly.

Voting is your opportunity to voice anger, disapproval & frustration about things like inaction on climate issues, our addiction to fossil fuels, the need for sustainability, dreadful social inequity but also to encourage those who are working towards a better world.

Be a supporting voice
The people, companies and politicians working toward a more sustainable, equitable world - those who think globally - need all the support you can give them. It's lonely being a dissenting voice, particularly when well funded, vested interests are nipping at your heels and perhaps offering a bit of incentive to encourage you to sell your soul.

Let the 'good guys' know they're doing well! Write to them - even a simple one line comment - it'll lift their spirits and help keep them on the right track! Write to the tardy ones and encourage them to lift their game.

You know the expression: "Silence is consent" ... if you don't vote, if you don't write to the politicians and agitate for change, if you're silent, they assume you agree with what they're doing.

Politicians listen to the loudest voices. Make your voice count.

Link here to NY Times article on compulsory voting, published in 2006, but still relevant today.
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Internet Censorship

2012-01-17T12:52:00.001+11:00

A short explanation of the effects of the proposed SOPA & PIPA bills that have been tabled in the US.

The US and many other countries have been trying to pass internet restricting policies ostensibly to prevent pirating of movies - which of course all the switched on users will be able to circumvent.

Unfortunately for all of us, one of the ripple of effects is that these bills play into the hands of governments in the future who may not be entirely pro-democratic. They have far reaching implications beyond pirating movies.

Reddit co-founder explains why it's important to protest. Further information is available here

Economic growth at all costs?

2012-01-14T15:31:00.000+11:00

How much are we prepared to gamble on continuous economic growth?

Some of you will be aware that I've been reading widely and deeply about climate change, global warming and peak oil in preparation for the A-Z blogging challenge in April. It's been a remarkable journey so far; I've met some amazing people, attended scientific lectures and corresponded with scientists, journalists and super switched on people around the globe.

What has been surprising is that far from being the devastating, miserable, depressing experience I anticipated, I've become more resilient as I've begun to discuss openly and understand the implications of the change we're experiencing. Perhaps it's a bit like the expression: "Know thine enemy", or possibly "Knowledge is power", or as Dr Russ Harris (ACT and mindfulness expert) says: "Make friends with your demons".

With greater knowledge has come a shift in the chasm of fear I'd experienced earlier - intriguing!

That's not to say I'm not pretty spooked at times, particularly with the lack of foresight and action on the part of governments and some major companies, but far less so than 6 months ago. (I'll save my anger at the greed, lies, obfuscation and lack of ethics and integrity for another time.) Hoping that climate change, global warming and energy depletion is all a bad dream that will go away when I wake up isn't, unfortunately, going to work.

The following 6 minute video produced by the Post Carbon Institute is one of the many informative, accessible explanations of looking at the change that we are beginning to experience as cheap plentiful energy begins to decline.

They explain that the Industrial Revolution was possible due to the harvesting and use of cheap energy. We imagined that this energy was inexhaustible, and many of us in the western world have enjoyed the abundance of goodies available as growth and rampant consumerism overtook values of restraint and moderation. Many of us, including governments have borrowed against the future and are not sure how we're going to repay the debt (or even in some cases if it's possible at all).

More and more economists are questioning the wisdom of continual growth, and are expressing their concern that our current measurement of Gross Domestic Product isn't working as well as they'd been taught. It isn't measuring the health our our economies adequately - as any carer or parent knows, their work isn't included even if they're working 24/7, yet the quality of many people's lives depends on their unpaid work.

We know growth can't go on for ever. There are practical limits to our energy sources and disposal of the wastes we're producing. The earlier we address these and aim for improvements in our lives that don't include increasing consumption of fossil fuels and other resources, and work to build local prospering communities, the easier the transition will be.

How would you measure the health of our economies?

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"The Best Moments for Women In 2011"

2012-01-06T10:11:00.000+11:00

Midst all the corruption, ineptitude and obscene financial rewards to executives who've overseen poorly managed companies, and temporarily ignoring the appalling incompetence at government levels on addressing our collective sustainable futures, it's great to focus on something positive!

On Jan 5th 2012 The Huffington Post presented a selection of 50+ significant women who made great contributions during 2011 in areas as diverse as comedy, science, film, politics, sex and sexuality, business, religion and writing, here.

Playing the automated slide show doesn't take long, however I found it more interesting to tap through manually so I could pause and absorb the information about each of the women and why they were significant. The next phase is to watch all the videos!

How do you sum up what this year meant for women? It's easy to think only of what needs to change and hasn't, or of the really awful things that are being done to women around the world -- this minute, in fact.

But plenty of things happened for women this year that are worth celebrating, too. Here are the 50 moments in 2011 that struck us as particularly important or astonishing or lovely. They include wins, memes, athletics, an inauguration, a birth, songs, dances, books, movies, speeches, and feats of precociousness. You probably won't agree with all of our choices -- so tell us in comments what we left out.

And whenever you need to be reminded what good company women are in, we hope you'll return to this list. While 2011 wasn't perfect, it certainly had its moments.

PHOTOS/VIDEOS: The 50 Best Moments For Women In 2011

As you click through, make sure you stop to watch the little girl annoyed at pink toy aisles for girls. I love that her dad listened and explored the issue with her.

Because I seem unable to embed the slide show, I'll whet your appetite with one of Huffpost's selections: how women are perceived in the media.

Jennifer Siebel Newsom's documentary makes everyone who's thinks they've heard it before refocus on how badly the media depicts women -- and how we can change that.

Would you give your car keys to a stranger?

2012-01-04T15:18:00.000+11:00

I was at a barbeque just before Christmas when the conversation got around to phone scams and how each of us manage the calls.

You know the calls I'm referring to. The phone rings and you're greeted by someone with a heavy accent, and it goes along the lines of "Are you (insert name here) of (insert phone number here)?" They may even mention your suburb.

If you've been deeply involved in something, you might even confirm the details.

The standard spiel continues along the following lines: "I'm calling on behalf of Microsoft to let you know there's been a serious issue reported with your windows programme. I'm from X company and need to perform an immediate mainteance check to ensure the problem doesn't happen again."

They're full of tech talk and use words designed to bewilder and confuse the average computer user, but most of all they're working hard to make you worried that all is not well with your computer, and are insistent that this needs to be fixed NOW! The caller is insistent, persuasive and convincing. They use phrases like "corrupt files", "viruses" and "error code".

They create a sense of panic.

Reports of this particular scam have come in from London to Brisbane, New York to Christchurch and most places in-between. Far too many people have been caught on the hop; the figures are sketchy due to many people being too embarrassed to report the theft once they realise they've been taken in by scammers.

from "The Little Black Book of Scams" - Australian Competition & Consumer Commission

They've been gullible, trusting or naive or maybe ill, elderly or confused and followed the instructions thus enabling the scammer to instal viruses and spyware on their computers. The scammers could be using payphones or disposable cell phones, so they're well nigh impossible to catch even if you get a number and report them. The victim may have paid for 'Life Time Support' by PayPal, credit card, or given bank details, thus enabling accounts to be emptied as they sit and watch.

Each of us sitting round the table had had up to 10 calls a week over a period of a couple of weeks - the calls stop for a while, then start up again. The calls are invasive, irritating and time consuming.

They've been known to leave some people feeling that their privacy has been invaded, and if the scammer has become abusive, people can be left feeling insecure and rattled. This is the reaction of people who haven't succumbed to the scam. If you had lost money and thought the scammer could appear at your front door, you'd be sick with fear and apprehension.

The conversation got around to musing if there could be some sort of a link between anger towards Indian students in Melbourne and other Australian cities, and anger about the scam. Could someone with a short fuse, who has perhaps been "got" or who knows someone who has lost money and peace of mind, react physically? Might some people target an unsuspecting student who appears to be of the same ethnicity as the scammer? We have no idea, but it's possible.

We put our heads together to try and come up with some different ways to use the experience as a chance to do something worthwhile. Amongst other things, we decided we wanted to express our concern to the scammer about the possible repercussions to foreign students in Australia as a direct result of their scam.

Being rude - nope.

Appeal to the scammers better nature - no.

"I'm recording you" - a recording could be used as an instructional tape so people know what to listen for. Could be useful.

Putting the phone of speaker so your children can listen - discuss how language can be used to persuade - good!

Tell the caller you're expecting a call from their Embassy to discuss scams. Could work.

Ask them if they believe in Karma - remind them of the repercussions of their actions. Seems to work.

Most recently though, I've decided simply to say "This scam has a direct impact on students living in Australia. Your action makes them unsafe and encourages racism." This seems to work although it needs to be refined so the word scam comes later - strangely they usually hang up when they hear the word scam. I'm probably tempting fate here, but since using that one, the calls have tapered off significantly.

If you have been caught off guard and given the scammer access to your computer: Disconnect immediately, phone your bank to alert them to what's happened and cancel your credit card, and as your bank statements come in, check them carefully. Contact a reputable company, (trusted friends and neighbours are a good source of information) let them know what's happened and they'll remove any malware that's been installed.

How do you manage scammers? Do you hang up immediately, are you rude, do you play along for entertainment value or have you devised a wonderfully creative response?

More information on scams:

The Microsoft scam page information is here
Information on how to recognise different kinds of scams is here
An A-Z of fraud is here
A Police warning about the above scam is here
The Little Black Book of Scams can be downloaded for free from the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission here
... and I'm sure there are many, many more links and that this is just the tip of a massive scammy iceberg.

The title of this piece came from a forum where someone asked "Would you give your car keys to a stranger? That's the equivalent of what you're doing if you allow a stranger access to your computer."

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All this social media is doing my head in!

2011-12-30T18:24:00.001+11:00

I knew the attraction of social media had got a bit out of hand when I failed to keep two chat conversations running simultaneously (one on G+ the other on Facebook) while making witty repartee with a friend regarding her latest droll status update. I know for some people that’s nothing, but this is me, the person who was sneered at for not having used a computer not that many years ago!

It had started off innocently enough. A friend and I were arranging to meet for coffee. We’re both introverts and appreciate the ability to arrange get togethers without the need to talk on the phone – Facebook to the rescue!

The other conversation was on G+ with someone I haven’t met, but with whom I share thoughts and links on the environment and sustainable energy. English is not his first language, so I like to think carefully about what I want to write so there are as few misunderstandings as possible, hence my style of writing is more formal and “correct”, with no slang. I need to concentrate for that!

I was doing ok for a while, but the toggling between links, people and social networks began to play havoc with my brain.

Was I arranging to meet for a coffee locally, or had I got mixed up and perhaps arranged to meet someone in a far distant land, complete with ice and snow, for a coffee in his hometown? Definitely time to call it quits!

It’s said (by those who say they're in the know) that it’s important for businesses, and particularly solepreneurs, to have a strong presence on line. The more you want to be seen to be an expert in a particular field, the more they encourage active participation in a range of social media settings.

But, let’s be honest about social media, it can be a whirlwind of aimless chatter and links to content of dubious quality that have the ability to distract us from what it is we want to do and achieve. It can be like 'Whistling into the wind'.

“They” say we should be on Twitter. I’m trying, really I am, to take Twitter seriously, to give it a fair go and make something meaningful of it. But, honestly, whenever I take a peek it feels like I’m opening a door and staring down a hurricane. It’s frenetic! I doubt would anyone notice if my meagre contribution disappeared. I’ve chosen to keep it though, for the links that come in, and of course when Adam Hills has done his Mess Around shows, it’s fun – now there’s someone who uses Twitter to advantage!

Personally, though, I sputter on, occasionally making tweets: Little reminders about slowing down, making time for exercise, uplifting sayings and mindful exercises. If anyone drops by they won’t be overwhelmed with a barrage of data or links. If the reminders help someone else to pause for a moment, then that’s great. If not, meh, there’s no damage done.

I use Facebook as I mentioned mainly for family and friends. A few other people have snuck in, and that’s ok. I like the ease of sharing happy snaps and informal tidbits – the sort of things I choose not to share with professional colleagues!

Linked In is my professional social media hangout. It is what I use for professional contacts, for catching up with ‘lost’ colleagues and seeing who is up to what in my field of Career Development. My Linked In groups are where I can ask for advice, share experiences, comment and interact with other professionals in my field. It's great for that.

I’ve used Linked In to assist some clients by encouraging them to revamp their profiles so it’s there as part of their professional presentation. It’s a good place for them to quickly add experiences and highlight achievements. Having a recent photo is important, and potential employers often check for consistency between your resume and your Linked In profile.

And then, there’s G+
Oh dear.
G+ is the current bane of my life. It’s where I meet and interact with people who reflect my diverse interests.
Different clusters of interests = different circle.

It’s certainly not a time waster, because that would imply that it’s frivolous or petty. No doubt there are places there you can look at cute cats, diverting dogs and a whole range of well, yes, timewasters. But it’s also an amazing opportunity to talk to, debate with, grumble to, be inspired by, and encourage, people from many, many countries, from Iceland to the Ukraine, from India to Canada.

I wasn’t sure how to use G+ at first. I’d been invited to join back in the very early days, and recognised that it was different to FB, but couldn’t quite see how to use it. No family, no friends, and only one blog buddy – there didn’t seem to be much opportunity for interaction. I didn’t know how to find people, or what was expected. I wasn’t aware of any tutorials way back then!

Thankfully I’d filled out my profile with some useful information and someone who knew the ropes had filtered profiles for people with similar interests. He was starting a meditation hangout and invited me to join. Unfortunately due to the timezone difference I couldn’t make it, but suddenly I saw that G+ was a whole lot more than a FB lookalike, and with amazing potential.

Through that first contact with a ‘stranger’ a whole range of people with diverse interests emerged.Photography, art, astronomy, social conscience, science, blogging and the environment: I’ve met people I couldn’t have had access to in my normal life. I’ve been stretched, challenged, learnt about SOPA and all sorts of other things, all from the comfort of my laptop.

I enjoy the depth of interaction and that fact that an unsubstantiated comment could well be met by “Can you cite a reference for that please”. WOW! Because of the beauty and ease of use of the circles, it’s easy to keep interests and posts separated and relevant to my different interests - joy oh joy!

I doubt that I’ve explored much beyond the surface layer - maybe I never will. But if you haven’t had a look at G+, I’d encourage you to dip a toe in, spend some time acclimatising and see if it works for you. Remember to say hi when you do!

How do you use social media? What works for you?

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Seasonal job vacancy available at short notice.

2011-12-22T10:28:00.000+11:00

I'm not sure where the photo came from, but isn't it brilliant!
If it's yours, please let me know.

Whilst on a training flight early this morning, tragedy struck the much loved (by children and junk toy makers) figure, known in many parts of the world as Father Christmas or Santa Claus.It is understood that Father Christmas had been whooping it up with his reindeer.

The reindeer, led by the exuberant Dasher, were enjoying stretching their legs after twelve months of idleness and were excited about the biggest event on their admittedly, mostly empty calendar. It's rumoured that the effects of climate change and a warming earth had disoriented the team as they usually navigate by observing glaciers which have been melting at an unprecedented rate.

“Forgetting about intercontinental air space regulations and not beng up to date with the effects of climate change are a bit of a hazard when you take to the skies so rarely” confessed a visibly devastated spokesperson for Father Christmas.

Lawyers are vying to represent the interests of Father Christmas, and figures in the mega millions are rumoured to be offered to the winning firm. A well known company from Australia are said to be in the running! However, given that Father Christmas gifts everything he makes, this figure is possibly somewhat inflated, as he leaves no obvious estate other than some very shaken reindeer a battered sleigh, and the unheated, uninsulated sheds the elves work in.

An international incident is looming with the pilot of the aircraft claiming complete innocence, "I was not flying negligently" he insisted at a press conference earlier today "the mad fool came out of nowhere and didn't even show up on the radar. Then WHAP, I couldn't see a thing for presents, sleigh and reindeer".

In scale the incident will probably top Russia’s rage at America trying to bring the internet to its knees with the proposed SOPA bill, and be even larger than China’s chagrin at America setting up a military base in Darwin, Australia. Aussie annoyance at the government allowing, nay encouraging, a northern US base pales into insignificance compared to the untimely demise of Father Christmas by an aircraft of ***** nationality. Those pesky Americans seem determined to flex their international muscle and will probably try to gain notoriety by sending their most aggressive lawyers to work on this most sensitive, discreet case. Admittedly, it would be a coup for any firm to represent such an interesting figure.

Human Resources representatives for Father Christmas are scurrying to find a suitable replacement. Advertisements for this part time, voluntary position, have been placed on line and they’re scouring the earth to find someone of suitable shape as well as an astounding level of athleticism, generosity and genuine cheerfulness. Candidates are unlikely to have their references or Working with Children checks vetted thoroughly given the short time frame and urgent need to fill the vacancy. All applicants are – unfortunately - welcome. A note just to hand advises that the successful applicant need not be fat, Anglo-saxon or male. The situation is obviously extremely dire and tension is mounting by the hour.

Historically, Father Christmas wore a green suit, but it’s understood that when Coke Cola (oh dear, Americans again) commandeered the image, this was changed to the current vibrant red. The incumbent will naturally be provided with a tailor made suit as the current one is in poor shape, not to mention its rather torn and blood-spattered appearance.

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Deja vu - heart shaped?

2011-12-16T08:39:00.001+11:00

Only one post!?

For brevity, I'll share a Drabble; it originally appeared on February 17 2011. My selection criteria? Short because it's a blog hop, but also showing my interest in social justice and careers.

Predatory employers suck the life out of the young and vulnerable, secure in the supreme right of their greed and avarice.

Say it’s for the good of society. That it represents progress and the might of the free world.

Democracy in action!

But really they love the feeling of power and all that that means.

Betray the trust of the innocent; exploit and manipulate vulnerable employees.

Desperate for work, children will take anything,

even washing bloated hearts in a pool, wearing ill fitting uniforms and inadequate wings.

Fixed smiles belie inner sadness.

They unwittingly support

the rampant commercialism

love.

This Drabble first appeared in The Burrow Valentine's feature 17 Feb 2011. Thanks to Burrower's, Books & Balderdash for hosting.

A Drabble is a story told in 100 words. No more, no less.

Picture from Wikimedia commons.

On the 14th December I managed to whittle the year down to choose 12 13 favourite posts, and I thought that was hard! You can go here for a selection of themes, from social justice and workplace communication, to the healing process after being the target of ongoing bullying.

The year in review.

2011-12-14T14:05:00.000+11:00

Well, that was a challenge!

I've just taken Mitch's suggestion about going through my blog posts from the last 12 months and making a short list of my favourites. His suggestion is to do this to bring some older posts back to life, and to give newer readers some idea about the types of things you write.

Mitch is Mitch Mitchell from I'm Just Sharing. He has lots of quality information about all sorts of things including improving your blog. He was recently featured on Arlee Bird's Tossing it Out which is where I met him.

I've managed to whittle away, to list 12 13 posts that include some of my favourites. It was a lot harder than I expected and I kept getting distracted, thinking "Did I really write that?" "It's not too bad at all!" (Which I confess is a pretty good feeling!)

I'm going to present them in reverse chronological order simply because that's how I re-read them.

1. The Great Barrier Reef or to quote from 4 corners "The Great Barrier Grief". I wrote this in response to a TV report on the damage that is being done in and around the Great Barrier Reef by coal seam gas mining and exporting our finite minerals overseas in massive tankers.

2. Exams. Failure is in the eye of the beholder. I was angry when I wrote this piece. Not at any particular person, but at the world in general. The world that puts immense pressure on students to achieve high grades, and which occasionally leads to tragedy.

3. Workplace bullying. Behind closed Doors. Angry again. This time a personal reaction to the classroom bullying of two of my relatives. I've been on both sides, I know teaching is really tough, however, bullying by teachers is unacceptable. I've seen it up close and personal, and sadly, it can happen like this in the classroom.

4. Workplace communication sounds like a bit of a dry topic, but it's fascinating! "If you REALLY..." explores manipulation and offers a perspective on how it can become a habit for some people.

5. Another one on communication, discussing Teams, games and sport. I'd been reading Susan Haden Elgin's "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work"and was intrigued by the notion of 'games' themes and terminology in the workplace. Something to explore further another time I think!

6. Do you bully yourself? is something I'd been wanting to write for a while, particularly after spending April presenting Workplace bullying in an A-Z format as part of a blog challenge hosted by Arlee Bird.

(The link to the 2012 Challenge is in the sidebar to the right). Here's the link to my A-Z posts on Workplace Bullying. It's a bit long and rambling. You can tell I was blogged out - it was a rather intense month.

7. Random acts of kindness is a brief to the point post - it was enjoyable to write and revisit.

8. Another step, recovering from bullying Recovery after being the target of serial bullying can be a lifelong process. This is one tool that can help. I felt it was important to balance the equation after spending April exploring bullying tactics.

9. Recovery from bullying - learning new patterns. If you've been bullied, I believe it's important to be proactive and arm yourself with new behaviours. Here's another idea to assist.

10. I'd never written a book review, and having read so many, decided to try my hand. It was an interesting exercise for an outstanding book. An Extraordinary Year of Ordinary Days by Susan Wittig Albert.

11. I hadn't heard about Drabbles until I came across Burrowers Books and Balderdash, (here) but having tried it out, I became addicted. The discipline of saying what I want in 100 words is good! (I spent April over at jumping aground writing alliterative drabbles. Yup, drabbling is great). This one, on young workers was included in the Burrow February Valentine feature.

12. Have you heard about The Red Light Flashing? Sometimes, something in us seems to sense that all is not right with an apparently attractive course of action. In this piece I attempt to explain without the benefit of waving my arms around to illustrate a point.

13. Another Drabble, Pole Star. I said I liked writing them! This one was featured in the Burrowers Books and Balderdash, December Advent Calendar in 2010. My take on the photo prompt wasn't a Christmas theme, but the words demanded to be written - I didn't think overly about it, just wrote. I'm still pleased with the result, but sad that nothing has changed.

So, there you have it. There were some posts that I re-read and thought, "Hmm, that could do with a bit of a tidy up" but on the whole, they weren't too bad. If you haven't spent time reviewing your own posts, I'd recommend the exercise. It's easy to forget what you've written (or is that only me?) and I found it encouraging to see a general improvement in my writing.

Graffiti on a wall in Melbourne

cheers

Sue

Christmas is coming

2011-12-07T13:45:00.001+11:00

Tourists pause, aimless and free, fondle market wares, hold them aloft, twist and turn, alert for the perfect Christmas gift.

Street market stalls laden with goods

Heels clack clack clack
on the footpath behind me
Loud. Insistent. Demanding.

I turn, maintain momentum, keep pace:
“You seem to be in a hurry. Must be a local!”
A laugh and wide grin, “How did you guess?”

I gesture to the tourist busses, densely packed groups, alfresco diners and coffee sippers, deeply relaxed and at ease.

Muslim women, tightly scarfed, giggle together;

Cheery red poinsettias.

Elderly Italian and Greek women with sensible shoes and bags, closely inspect the local farm fruit and vegetables;

Asian groups of mixed ages and genders, umbrellas angled against the sun, wide brimmed hats pulled low over black hair and tied with bows under chins, ponder whether to try the local Japanese restaurant for lunch – their body language is clear.

No, they’re not local, but they are welcome …
or are they?

I was once lost for words when a friend said “I didn’t know we got that type of person down here” when she saw a group of traditionally dressed Moslem women.

As I watch cars inching down the crowded street, sporting jaunty antlers and red noses under the searing sun, I wonder sadly if that sentiment remains.

Isn’t there enough room for us all?


The Town Crier decked with tinsel making a Christmas announcement.


I cringe at the addition of a Santa hat

The pain of bullying up close

2011-12-05T14:52:00.001+11:00

I've written and deleted, and written and deleted, but my words aren't adequate, so I'll take away my megaphone and soapbox and go and calm down.

What would you say to Jonah?
What would he hear?
What would you say to the perpetrators and onlookers?
What would they hear?
What would you say to the adults around?
What would they hear?
Can any words help?

Christmas questions

2011-12-03T18:04:00.001+11:00

Are you galloping towards a frenetic bout of over-consumption this Christmas season?

Are your purchases something you've thoughtfully and consciously chosen or are you buying as a habit or in response to the powerful advertising machine and their clever manipulation?

Is the "stuff" you're being encouraged to purchase worthy of your hard earned wage?

Follow the money trail and you find ...

2011-11-25T08:43:00.001+11:00

*Alliterative drabble for the letter D, re-posted from the 2011 A-Z Blogging Challenge at jumpingaground. (edited)

Hundreds of distinguished scientists drown us in detailed data describing the devastation that will dampen our spirits due to our voracious determination to drill for oil continuously and use all the dark coal completely 'till it disappears forever.

Those with vested interests delve deviously to detect a difference of opinion, then jeer delightedly and defame the dedicated scientists calling them dreary, deranged and deluded. They are determined to make a dramatic beat up and decide to discredit the danger.

Oh dear; ruthless dealers, dumping on the deeply knowledgeable.

Dangerously deluded politicians also choose to ignore our Earth’s degeneration.

Dollars dominate.

We need all the help we can get.

***

A Drabble is a story told in 100 words. No more, no less.

The A-Z blogging challenge is coming!

2011-11-13T09:06:00.001+11:00

The A-Z Blogging Challenge: is a fun month of blogging and blog hopping and comes with a huge amount of camaraderie and lashings of support from the amazing organisers.

The idea is that during April, you link up with a thousand or more other bloggers to post each day of the month (except Sundays) starting with A on the 1st and working through the alphabet to Z on the 30th.

It was so good that I'm diving in again in 2012 even though I was blogged out by the time I got to Z in 2011!

You can see some of the things people blogged about this year towards the end of this post, and whilst you don't need a theme, it works for me and provides a good structure. Last time, I really wanted to blog about climate change. But it was too hard, too complex, and to be honest, too darn depressing. But the idea has been playing on my mind all year, niggling and asking for my attention.

Even though I don't want to spend months researching climate related issues and immersing myself in the facts and figures, if I'm going to live according to my core values it's something I'll choose do.

Core Values:

one of my vital core values is to connect with and spend time in the natural environment. I'd like future generations to have the opportunity to enjoy it as I do.
another is to be part of a community, to connect with, and be part of something bigger than my own little space in the world. It'd be great to connect with others doing their bit to make a difference.
a third core value is to do with education and personal development. I like to extend myself. I enjoy being educated, informing, sharing and trying to explain concepts clearly

To live comfortably with myself, I'll embrace my values and move in a direction where I act on them, even though it may be difficult. I'll try to ignore my inner demons of "Nothing's going to change", "I'm setting myself up for disappointment because no-one's interested anyway" and "Who do you think you are? You're getting too big for your boots if you think you can make a difference".

ACT: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
To help me through, I'll apply the principles of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and mindfulness meditation and make space for the feelings of anxiety and self-doubt, find room for my demons and breathe deeply into any discomfort. (Information on ACT here.)

Preparation is the key!
Rather than leaving the preparation to the last minute (silly me) like last year, when I blogged about Workplace Bullying (list of areas I covered here ), I've been thinking ahead, mulling over how to present the whole depressing schemozzle so it’s not a major turn off.

Pilfered from Burrowers, Books and Balderdash here.

But, first, I needed to drag myself out of the chasm of despair and fear that envelops me when I think about climate change and the destruction of our eco-systems. So I took some time off to relax, be inspired, blow away the cobwebs and re-energise. And it was fun!

Once upon a time, this was the seabed.
The track is at the top of a range of hills in Mutawintji National Park NSW

After rain, the dry river bed becomes part of a river system
extending for many kilometres
Mutawintji National Park NSW.

North west NSW.

Menindie Lakes

Click here to join the A-Z blogging challenge in 2012 with Arlee Bird and his great band of helpers.

Themes
It'd be great if you join me and the other participants who'll be blogging from A-Z in April. Not all the topics are heavy! Participants cover everything from gaming, film, books, writing, photography, painting, gardening, birds, grammar, haiku, travel, art, artists, anime, stamps, science, the solar system, old postcards, craft and everything in between. You'll meet witty, wise, poetic experienced bloggers as well as people who started blogging purely to join the fun of the challenge. It's simply amazing!

I'd like some encouraging company! I'd been feeling insignificant and scared when I allowed myself to think about climate change and environmental damage in the privacy of my head. It was only when I made veiled comments to others, including my doctor, that conversations opened up and I realised I'm not alone in with the continual sense of fear and doom.My doctor commented that he is treating more people for depression than ever before, and suspected that isolation and fear about the future may be part of the cause.

Click on the ENGAHC button at the top for more information about my theme. Please 'follow' if the topic is something you're interested in, or can contribute to. I'd like you to share your insights, stories and comments.

Do you have something you'd like to blog about?
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The Great Barrier Reef - or to quote from 4 Corners "The Great Barrier Grief"

2011-11-11T08:03:00.001+11:00

What are Australian politicians at local, state and federal levels allowing to be done to our beloved Great Barrier Reef?

How can they possibly look themselves in the face, look at their children and grandchildren, family and friends and tell them that they condone massive dredging in not just one, but up to 6 or more areas along the coast near this exquisite world heritage area?

Dredging for massive ports to allow huge tankers to transport coal seam gas for export - for sale to the highest international bidder.

Exporting our natural resources to countries which have even less interest in environmental sustainability and clean renewable energy than we do. Countries which have fewer community members who are able to take a stand and object. Countries where fewer people will understand the potential cost to Australians and anyone who has ever gazed in awe at the Great Barrier Reef and wondered at the beauty and amazing colours in the astoundingly diverse range of marine plants and animals who call it home.

I'm appalled at what's happening up in Queensland near the town of Gladstone. I knew the Great Barrier Reef was a World Heritage Area and assumed that that meant it would be afforded some protection from the voracious mining interests nearby. It appears not.

A disturbing documentary from our most reputable investigative reporters on 4 Corners explored what is happening and the extremely concerned response from UNESCO (United Nations' Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation which is responsible for protecting world heritage listed sites like the Great Barrier Reef).

4 Corners report here

Millions of cubic metres of sea floor (a mix of toxic sludge from land and waterways runoff including pesticides and contaminants from the recent floods) are being dredged inland of the Great Barrier Reef, and dumped close to the World Heritage Area to make way for massive new coal seam gas export facilities. The sludge is to be dumped within 1km of the world heritage site. It has the so alarmed UNESCO that they're warning the Reef could lose its iconic world heritage status. If that happens the ripple effect to the tourism industry affecting jobs there could be huge.

The areas being dredged include sea grass and mangroves which are important fish breeding grounds, as well as being home to marine creatures including turtles and dugong.

The reef is already stressed. Being so close to major shipping will expose it to further risk of spills and groundings which happened recently during a storm, resulting in kilometres of damage to the fragile corals.

The fishing industry is concerned as stocks appear to be showing the effect of exposure to toxins in the water. Locally caught fish have bleeding lesions and 'exploding red eye'. With breeding grounds being dredged, the fishing industry will be sorely affected. Fish suppliers are concerned about the quality of the local fish, and some are refusing to sell local catches.

GetUp is an independent, not-for-profit community campaigning group who were concerned enough to create a petition calling on the Federal Environment Minister to "Immediately halt all dredging in the Gladstone Harbour and Great Barrier Reef and not to approve any major coastal developments until the UNESCO strategic assessment has been completed." GetUp will deliver the petition to UNESCO in Paris.

(The following is quoted from GetUp) "As The Age recently put it- what's of primary concern is the "vast dredging program" associated with the construction of three coal seam gas plants located inside the reef's World Heritage area. "The Gladstone Ports Corporation (GPC) has approvals to dredge 46 million cubic metres from within the harbour boundaries, inside the World Heritage area, over the next 20 years...a volume equivalent to 27 Melbourne Cricket Grounds.

Environment Minister Tony Burke has so far refused to stand up for the Reef, a priceless and fragile site of significance not just to Australia, but to the world. Imagine if the Pyramids were being bulldozed or the Grand Canyon mined -- the global community would be furious ... UNESCO are sending a special delegation in March to investigate what is happening - but that's too late to stop the damage happening now.

Meanwhile, UNESCO are being lobbied hard by the insatiable coal seam gas industry. And although they failed to even tell UNESCO about the project, the state and federal governments would have us simply trust them to monitor and regulate this crazy project -- claiming it's possible to dredge up 46 million cubic metres of reef inside a world heritage site provided there's sufficient environmental oversight. If the Australian Government won't stand up for the Great Barrier Reef as it's ripped up for corporate profit, we will.

That's why we've created an urgent petition, as we prepare to launch this campaign on the global stage. www.getup.org.au/dredging-the-reef

The fragile and unique ecosystem of the Great Barrier Reef is already under intense pressure due to earlier floods and a changing climate. We've witnessed a steep increase in the rates of death of endangered marine wildlife this year -- including dolphins, dugongs and turtles. The massive development for the coal seam gas industry may well prove too much for it to handle.

Coal seam gas mining is now affecting our communities and environment, from the family farm to the deep blue sea, and once these areas are destroyed, no amount of money will ever bring them back. Sign the petition now, and if you're on Twitter and Facebook, be sure to share this emergency call to action with your friends.

Thank you for using your voice now, The GetUp team

What do you think?

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How to fail an exam

2011-11-06T19:00:00.000+11:00

I love presenting workshops on exam technique to adults. It’s immensely satisfying to explain the "magic" that helps some students sail through exams with flying colours. These are techniques that my adult students can easily adopt to help them succeed.

Adults returning to study often share how, at school, after failing an exam dismally, they put a brave face on, pretended to be cool and not to care. But in the safety of our classes they often open up. Some still burn with the shame of failure and occasionally break down in tears reliving the humiliation of their school days and failing exams.

When students are fearful, they don’t learn or remember easily. They clamp up. Not a good start when going into an exam.

There’s often be a collective wail of despair: “But I don’t know how to study. I don’t know how to answer the questions. I hate exams. I can’t do it.”

In an effort to break the ice and have a laugh, I ask in all seriousness if anyone knows how to fail an exam. The looks say it all – “Oh crap, she’s lost the plot entirely, what do we do now?”

But of course they know how to fail an exam! They’ve done it often enough to be very familiar. So, if they know how to fail, they also know the basics of how to pass – start by doing the opposite.

By working from the negative, it proves to each of them that they already know how to study. This lighthearted technique gets them to think about the problem differently, opens them up to another way of looking at the issue.

They know what to do! Now all that remains is to choose which of the (opposite) actions they can incorporate into their lives with as little pain as possible.

This following is a somewhat tongue in cheek list, but still relevant with so many students working towards final year exams.

So, in a spirit of caring and sharing, during what is a very stressful time for many students, parents, caregivers and teachers, I present for your amusement:

How to fail an Exam:

Before:

Attend as few classes as possible during the year
Sit at the back of the classroom and draw dirty pictures
Text friends during class
Sigh, moan and daydream
Disrupt the class as often as possible and get asked to leave
Don’t study - in any way shape or form - ever
Complain loud and often about how you’ll fail - negative self talk really helps
Party the night before

During the exam:

Don’t turn up
Cheat
Panic
Don’t read the question/s
Don’t answer the question/s
Answer the question with what you want to talk about rather than what is asked
In essays, when asked to present a rough outline, you don’t
Write illegibly (deliberately)
In multiple-choice questions, tick all the options. Or none

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but covers most of the tried and true methods my students had become expert at.

What else can you add?

Note: Most went on to successfully pass their coursework exams. There was no magic involved. They were interested in the courses, determined, enthusiastic and motivated to prove they could succeed.

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Exams - failure is in the eye of the beholder

2011-11-01T11:28:00.000+11:00

What are we doing to our young people going into the exam period?

Too many teachers and parents add pressure by ranting and raving about failure, implying that life isn’t worth living if you don’t pass the final secondary school, or university exams. Tragically, some students take this to heart and choose to end their lives. I can’t begin to express the sorrow and grief I experience every time I hear of a young life lost, particularly at exam time.

I wonder if they felt it was impossible for them to live up the expectations, hopes and dreams of those around them. If they were aware that they hadn't worked as relentlessly and hard as they could and had felt that taking their own life was better than facing the shame of failing an exam. I wonder if they had heard, (hopefully mistakenly) and taken to heart, that to fail an exam equates to being a failure as a human being.

Knowing the remote, but possibly tragic consequences of this extremely limited view of success; why is it that when a young person is coming up to the exams, teachers, parents and the news machines put more and more pressure on them?

From the in your face shouting and barrage of demeaning and demoralizing slurs on character, to outright predictions that “You’ll fail if you keep that up” the pressure is unwarranted and undermining on an often fragile self esteem.

I wonder if anyone involved really believes the students have no idea about the enormity of the perceived importance of the final exams. After all, it's been relentlessly hammered into them for years. "If you think this is hard, just wait till you do your *VCE" and "This is going to be the hardest year of your life".

I’ve chosen the words in the above paragraph carefully … Perceived importance.

Worst-case scenario: The student fails the exam.
Of course teachers may see this as a negative reflection on their teaching ability. The school may see it as a negative reflection on it and the teacher. Their ranking may go down, and they may not be seen as so prestigious. The parent may see it as a negative reflection on their parenting. The student might not get into the course they dreamed of. Their pride may have been dented, but the student never was, and never will be a worthless human because they failed an exam.

The student is NOT a failure; they have failed to answer the questions that were asked on that particular exam on that particular day. This is not a direct reflection on their worth as people. The world does not and will not end. It does not and never will make them bad people, undeserving of respect, tolerance, compassion. It does not mean they won’t go on to live lives that are rich, full and meaningful. It does not mean that they won’t go on to satisfying and successful further study in years to come. It is not a prediction about the rosiness of anyone’s future.

Exam results don't predict life achievements
Failing an exam could mean all sorts of things about the student’s stress levels, study habits, adverse outside influences – all sorts of things, but never is it, nor should it be used as a threat to predict a life that won’t be worth living.

As a teacher or parent, you should never make dire negative predictions about any student’s future – it’s cruelly undermining, often leads to loss of confidence and an inability to perform as well as possible. It rarely encourages a student to work harder and should never be used as a tactic – it’s heartless and vindictive, especially when accompanied with shouted, in your face putdowns.

In addition, no one has that fictitious crystal ball. We don't know. We can't predict the future. We're not seers, soothsayers or psychics. Many inspiring citizens have failed exams and gone on to be publicly revered. Please don't ignore their contribution in the push for impressive exam results.

As a long time teacher, counsellor and facilitator at tertiary institutions I’ve seen the result of undermining, toxic, vicious and cruel comments made by teachers and parents up to thirty and forty years after the event. Comments hissed under the breath, laced with venom, or shouted publicly, openly in front of a class. Unfortunately many students take to heart and believe what powerful adults tell them. These comments stay with people, creating churning, nagging doubt and too often a profound sense of hopelessness.

Is that what we want for any young person taking their first steps into the adult world?

I’ve worked extensively with competent, yet academically insecure, nervous adults. Wonderful people, contributing generously to their communities, yet their underlying self esteem is in tatters as they’ve suffered at school with a powerful teacher who has glibly, possibly thoughtlessly or flippantly predicted that they won’t amount to anything. The teacher might not even remember, if they do, they might say: "I didn't mean anything by it, they were just words to get them studying harder."

Just words?
Words are powerful tools, used to inspire, encourage and support, but also to control, dominate or insult. "You're hopeless, you won't amount to anything" - what a cruel prediction, surely designed to erode confidence.

I've seen smart students with undiagnosed learning difficulties who, at school, had been publicly ridiculed, shamed, belittled and taunted for being unable to produce a single page of written work. As adults they are desperate to prove that they’re as good as those who can spell accurately and put sentences together easily.

These people are NOT failures. They contribute to the richness of our communities.

They are our families - they are sons and daughters, cousins, aunts and uncles, mums and dads, grandmas and grandpas.

The last exams of secondary school are part of life, one step. One small step in the path of many, many steps. The exams may be important, they may make it easier to gain immediate entry into university. But 'success' as a wholesome, interesting, intelligent, worthwhile human being does not and never will rest on achieving a high grade at the final exams in secondary school (or university for that matter).

What's been your experience with exam pressure?

The following link to youthbeyondblue.com has some excellent fact sheets on depression. Link here. Please seek help if you think you're depressed or need assistance with exam technique.

If you know anyone who might benefit from this reminder about the place of exams as a predictor of life success, please post the link to FB or share in some way.

thanks

Sue

* VCE/HSC/SACE etc are the final exams at Australian secondary schools. They are scored and used as a basis for entry to many university and tertiary courses.

Graffiti art on the side of a building in Berlin. 2009.

Workplace bullying – behind closed doors

2011-10-30T11:47:00.000+11:00

From the pre-pubescent “Mum, my teacher’s mean” right through to the be-whiskered deep voiced rumble “That creep was shouting in Serena’s face so close she was being sprayed with spittle”, it seems that bullying is rife in the classroom, usually out of view (or conveniently ignored by those in power) and behind closed doors. And who’s going to believe a child anyway and look dispassionately at both sides? The parent finds that even when the most tentative comment is made, the ranks close and hackles rise. “How dare you question my teaching methods?”

This post is for the boys in my family. I want to let you know that whilst I can’t do anything to ease your pain, hurt and anger, I can help raise awareness and call these mean teachers by the rightful term: bullies.

How proud I was to hear that in the face of relentless verbal taunts you acted responsibly and wisely. When confronted by a bully, we advise that you turn and walk away, get out of their vicinity and don’t respond. You’ll probably be labelled as a difficult child, wilful and disrespectful. But in the face of threat, embarrassment and discomfort, you showed bravery and courage. You left the classroom where you were the target of the teacher bully. I can’t imagine how much you were provoked to feel that was the only action available to you.

You are marking time, surviving at school, but not thriving as you should be. Sometimes school sucks big time.

When the teacher bully targets one or two children, humiliates and belittles them publicly, the rest of the class responds with nervous titters - best to side with the bully than become a target yourself!

What strength it takes not to respond, to pretend to laugh off the humiliating comments. But you see the pain of those who are targeted day after day, week after week, month after month and you don’t know how to help. You stick up for them when you can, but see the injustice and cruelty. You’ve observed how the teacher looks for any behaviour that is out of line, draws attention to it, but never notices or praises the good. He laughs and brings attention to your classmates learning difficulty to his utter shame and bewilderment.

A domino - Berlin 2009.

To confront the teacher bully and tell them to “back off” from verbally abusing another student takes a lot of courage. By golly, I admire you for this. You’ve drawn attention to the bully’s unacceptable behaviour, which he may not take kindly to; from experience you’ll know this method can often backfire and you may become the next target.

How proud I am of you, standing up for the underdog who was being unfairly harangued. To be confronted by a large, dominant and angry teacher is intimidating, frightening, humiliating. It’s an abuse of power and is never acceptable. It never encourages a student to work harder or better or showcase their talent.

I see strong boys, acting with integrity, courage, intelligence and compassion. I’m so proud to be related to you. The teacher bullies you’re confronting appear to be sadly lacking in these qualities. I wonder if they’re threatened by these strengths in you.

To be confined in a classroom where abuse if rife, to be the target, or observe another being harangued, needled, provoked is horribly painful.

You rail against the unfairness, and as parents and family, we can’t always help. We don’t have the answers, and often feel powerless too. Sometimes it sucks being a parent. We don’t always know how to put a stop to teacher bullying - but we see your hurt, anger and frustration and are here to listen whenever you need to unload.

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Chaotic Careers

2011-10-26T18:35:00.000+11:00

What role has luck played in your life or career?

Jim Bright is professor of Career Development at the Australian Catholic University and quite a presence in the Australian Career Development field. His Chaos theory of Career Development fits with my experience and that of many of my clients.

An article on the role of luck in careers recently appeared in the Financial Review "How to get luck on your side" link here.

Whilst we might like to think that talent and determination are the key factors in success at work, there is often something else happening too. Bright explains that not everyone with talent will make it to the top of their field no matter how hard they try - and discusses the reasons for this.

It's not simply hard work alone that puts some people at the top of their field. Bright and others believe there's an element of luck, of being in the right place at the right time and of putting yourself in the way of opportunities and being open to change.

Like this tree, many people are able to take advantage
of the opportunity for re-growth after a major unforeseen setback.

Bright's theory of career development is that we live in a world of uncertain events, where the idea of our work-life as a linear progression is simply not how life unfolds. People's careers change direction and often appear haphazard as they hit a wall or another opportunity occurs. Often they 'spin around to do something completely different.'

Jim Bright believes people need to be luck ready and says that even if this doesn't come naturally it can, to some extent, be learnt. Bright and Pryor have devised three tests (link here) so you can see where you fit on their luck scale. You will be asked to create a user name and password and then choose the test you wish to complete.

People who score highly in flexibility, optimism, risk (adventurousness), curiosity, persistence, strategy, efficacy and luckiness will be more open to change and put themselves in the way of chance events more often than those who are less flexible in their outlook.

Random events can cause us to change direction.

Along with many others, Bright believes that our vision of careers needs to include the vision of chance and uncertainty. He encourages us not to stick overly rigidly with a plan, and to acknowledge the importance of the complexity of the world in which we live. This will enable us to make the most of the potential of unplanned and unforeseen events.

Three tests
The Luck Readiness Index profiles your response to chance and measures your awareness and readiness to take opportunities in a changing environment.

The Change Perception Index profiles how you view change in your life and career compared to others. Each comes with an extensive in-depth report. These are available for a fee of $9(Aus)

The Exploring Chaos Reality Checklist is free, and is quick and easy to complete. The checklist is designed to assess your thinking about change in your career and the workplace (and I would add in life in general). An informative interesting and useful printable outline of your results is available on completion.

I've mentioned in previous posts about how change can be very uncomfortable for many people. But even when it's uncomfortable it can be positive and adapting to it can be an indicator of career success.

The future is not predictable - an example is sudden, unexpected downsizing of a company which can leave unprepared workers floundering and stressed. Learning to be adaptable and to reinvent ourselves to take advantage of random opportunities can be extremely empowering.

The free printable report from the Exploring Chaos Reality Checklist has suggestions for ways to think about your pattern of responses, as well as how to use this information proactively in regards to future events. Not bad for free!

Link to tests here.

How have chance and random events affected your life?

Workplace communication - "If you REALLY..."

2011-10-23T19:55:00.000+11:00

Imagine before you a small child and a parent – the child is exploring notions of power. How much they have of it, where it begins and ends – not that they’d call it that or be aware of it, but for all intents and purposes that’s what it is.

The small child says, possibly with not much hope of success: “If you REALLY loved me, you’d buy me a pony.”

The parent, taken by surprise, wonders if they’re doing a good job of this parenting thing, may feel guilty for working long hours and not giving quality time to their child. Desperately wanting to be loved, the parent may not spare a thought about the pattern that could begin to evolve if they immediately satisfy the request and those that will inevitably follow. (I certainly don't mean to imply that life will be forever fraught if you give a child a gift, mostly things are fine!)

The child, grows into a young teenager and is asked to help with household chores, specifically to hang out the washing. Possibly embarrassed to be seen hanging out her mother’s bras and her father’s jocks, but more importantly having learnt to manipulate by trading on love, says in a plaintive, pleading tone (which she’s learnt tugs at her mothers heartstrings and brings the desired result): “If you REALLY loved me, I wouldn’t have to do chores and could go play with the other girls.”

Fast forward a couple of years. The youngster, now of driving age, and fully conscious of the power he holds, it having been reinforced time and time again, uses the proven technique: “If you REALLY loved me you’d buy me a car.”

Lo and behold, there’s a lovely new (to him) car. But, horror of horrors, one night he comes home late, slightly under the weather, with the car dented and bent. He says to a parent: “If you REALLY loved me, you’d tell the insurance company you were driving, so I’m not penalised.”

Obviously what follows isn’t predetermined. This kind of power hunger certainly won't happen to everyone, but for some people, they feel alive and strong when they can manipulate others with language. Feeding this type of addiction to power can become an end in itself. If the person is a bully, this can be disastrous for those caught up in the web.

In the workplace:
The words evolve to be more appropriate for the workplace, but the desire to manipulate others and watch how they respond and capitulate remains. “If you REALLY cared about this department you’d: “work unpaid overtime/not agitate for a pay rise/not lodge a complaint about bullying/sexual harassment.” In fact, the manipulation can be in any sphere and cover many different scenarios.

For those of us brought up to be “good” people, to not rock the boat, and to respect authority, this form of psychological game playing can be very hard to resist. Of course you care about your workplace and the department!

How to respond:
The best exchange I witnessed was so simple, so effective that it’s stuck with me for years. The target, (I’ll call her Jenny and come back to her later on) simply responded to the “If you REALLY …” statement with a calm: “That’s an interesting point of view, I’ll take it on board.” And went on with what she had been doing. This was so simple, so effective as to leave the chronically manipulative co-worker temporarily without words. (And between you and me, looking mildly foolish.)

Sadly, what is simple is not necessarily easy.

The difficulty can be to become aware of the pattern of manipulation. It’s helpful to clarify the scenarios where you get “trapped” so you are aware of them. As the Scouts and Guides say “Be prepared”.
The attacker wants and expects a result. Some want you to squirm and justify your actions, others want to waste your time. Some are bullies. Rarely are they interested in a rational, mature discussion.

Harmless fun?
I once had a co-worker; I’ll call him Tom. He was fun and efficient to work with, but had a dreadful habit of baiting another co-worker who I’ll call James. Tom would deliberately bait James with the tried and tested words “If you REALLY cared about the environment you’d get solar panels installed and get all your windows double glazed. “ Tom didn’t do this maliciously, but simply for the sport of seeing James get totally wound in knots trying to justify how his home was heated and cooled.

James would become flustered and go quite red in the face. Tom just sat there dropping in a word here and there, a bit like a fisherman winding in a fish. At the end of the embarrassing experience when James had been unable to justify why his home wasn’t powered with solar cells, and had flounced off, Tom would look at his watch with satisfaction and announce how much time James had spent on this fruitless exchange. This happened time and time again with Tom gleefully keeping a tally of the time wasted.

Some verbal bullies are like ravenous sharks feeding on your responses.

As an observer, it was hard to know how, or even if, it was possible, to prevent James getting caught. James took the bait, AND the hook, line and sinker. Repeatedly.

Does James care about the environment? Yes, desperately. Does this mean he needs to justify his decisions about solar panels to Tom? No, not at all. Tom isn’t interested in the reasoning and doesn’t want a mature discussion. As I’ve said, he’s initiated the ‘conversation’ for a very different reason.

What could James have done? James consistently gave his attacker Tom, exactly what he wanted and expected. As well as feeding Tom’s feeling of power, by taking the bait, James was agreeing with the implication that he didn’t care about the environment.

How would my friend Jenny who you met earlier have responded? I suspect she would have stuck to her line: “That’s an interesting point, I’ll take it on board.” If James had learnt to say something like this, even after a history of being trapped in an ever tightening circle of half finished, awkward sentences, Tom would have had little room to manouvre.

Some other possible responses could go along the lines of: “Of course I care about the environment, I’ve got some brochures to look at and am comparing solar options.” And then James casually wanders off not waiting for Tom’s reply.

Or perhaps, “Yes, of course I care about the environment, there’s a lecture at the local college next week, would you like the information so you can attend?” Your tone of voice won’t be dripping with sarcasm and it shouldn’t come out as a put down. You are simply, respectfully replying, adult to adult, as if the initial bait was an honest request for information.

Elgin in ‘The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense at Work’ (p118-9) says: “What the verbal abuser wants is the confrontation. The scene. The fight. The row.” She goes on to say that the abuser doesn’t want to be ignored, but “wants your full and undivided attention. The bait itself is trivial to verbal abusers, (and it is) valued only for its potential to provoke you”. “They care about demonstrating that they have power over you and can control your behaviour”.

“Therefore, anytime you take the bait in a verbal attack and participate in the verbal violence loop, you are letting them get away with it.”

If something like this has happened to you on more than one occasion, identify the themes that catch you and rehearse your responses with someone you trust. It might feel awkward to change a pattern, but the benefit will be well worth while.

All the above are true stories in which I've been involved in some way.

You might find the related post "How to say 'No' graciously" interesting. It's here.

Suzette Haden Elgin's web site on Verbal Self Defense is here.
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Workplace communication – teams, games and sport.

2011-10-19T18:33:00.002+11:00

I’ve been reading Susan Haden Elgin’s “The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work”, (Prentice-Hall 2000) not an easy read, but very interesting.

Elgin is writing about business communication and mentions the fact that dominant adult males control most of the power in America and that many of us spend large amounts of time interacting with dominant adult males. (I have no reason to think things have changed since 2000 or are significantly different in Australia.) She explains that “… most American men today define anything that involves negotiation as a game, at least temporarily, and they switch to gameplaying behaviour for the duration of the negotiation.”

She states that women, other nationalities and different ethnic groups don’t always agree on the meaning of ‘negotiation’ or understand the terminology of gameplaying behaviour and that this leads to massive communication breakdowns in many business settings.

What is your experience at work? Certainly in the workplaces I’ve been in, gameplaying terminology is prevalent. Such comments as “The ball’s in your court”, “Are we all on the same team here?” “We’ll get some runs of the board with this one”, “Don’t waste the play”, “That meeting was a bit of a free for all” or “Good play”, are commonplace.

Often there are a lot of non-verbal signals too, with the action of passing a ball to others at a meeting to denote the next person to speak. There are visual gags and asides that leave the non-initiated perplexed, out of it and wondering what on earth is going on.

Sometimes it’s even more pronounced with the expectation that personnel will attend football, tennis and cricket matches and entertain clients at these venues on weekends and in the evening. If this fills you with dread or loathing, perhaps you and that particular workplace aren’t entirely suited.

I want to make three points relating to games, sports and teams.

Firstly: What does the word game mean to you? Is it something light-hearted and perhaps trivial? Did you love sport at school? Or was it a time of purgatory? Does it matter one way or the other if you win or lose? How do you view the language of games?

Are games to be taken seriously, to be won, do they mean something to you? If they do to everyone but you in the office, what will the effect be? If you’re not speaking the same language, how does this affect your workplace dynamics?

If we don’t understand or relate to the language that is being used, where does that leave us?

Secondly: How do significant people at your workplace use game playing terminology? Does it pepper their speech? Are you talking the same language? Do you know how they view games? Do they love team sports or do they prefer non-team sports? How does a boss’s love of sport, the fact that he or she takes sport extremely seriously affect everyday work interactions and negotiations?

Do you like being part of a group or team?

Thirdly: How do you view team sports?
I listened to an interview a while ago where two groups were debating the benefit of team sports at school. They were rational adults, full of goodwill and respect for the ‘opposition’, but it was glaringly obvious that they simply couldn’t (not wouldn’t but couldn’t) understand the perspective of the other side.

Those in favour of team sport were adamant about the many benefits of belonging to a team that weren’t easily achievable elsewhere. They talked about the pleasure of belonging, being part of a team (that word again) working towards achieving something together, of having a goal, focus, discipline and purpose. They revelled in the joy of winning! Their entire lives, on field and off, were viewed in a sporting context.

Those against spoke about the pain of not being chosen, of being reluctantly included when the Phys Ed teacher insisted, of being clumsy, not fitting in and of being perplexed about the rules, confused and uncomfortable. They remembered doing anything to get out of dreaded sport at school, forging notes, faking illness - anything to avoid the humiliation of participating. I think it is fair to say they abhorred sport and everything to do with it.

Neither side understood the others perspective, they weren’t being difficult, there was simply a deep gulf separating them.

How do these perceptions, prejudices and beliefs about teams carry into the workplace where sporting terminology and game playing is prevalent? If you hated sport at school, how does that affect you in a workplace? How does your disinterest and lack on knowledge affect the sport lovers?

What do the words team sports mean to you? What images thoughts and feelings arise? “ Be a good sport” (and do something you don’t want to do) “It’s not winning, but how you play the game”, “Don’t be a sore loser”, “This game is for the boys, we don’t want sissies here”, “It’s a bit of a boy’s club here”, “Can’t take the rough and tumble?” (said in a derisive tone)

You might like sport but prefer to work alone.

If you don’t like games and have residual negative feelings regarding team sports, could this affect your body language when the terminology is used in a work setting? How does this affect others?

Like Elgin, I firmly believe effective workplace communication matters. When the terms are unfamiliar and come from the world of sport and games, which not everyone is familiar with, mis-communication can and will take place. Expectations about roles can, as Elgin says, lead to outright confusion and clashes; there will be hurt, baffled and angry people. Unlike her, my experience is that both men and women can be alienated by game terminology - personality type is more relevant than a division along gender lines.

It’s a bit like being in a foreign country for those who aren’t natural games people. They don’t understand the terminology. At best, they may watch and listen with curiosity, but it’s a closed book, which needs courteous, patient, respectful explanation.

Some turn tail and run when team sports are mentioned.

I believe it’s incumbent on both sides, whether male or female and of whatever nationality or ethnic group to work hard to communicate maturely and clearly in terms the other can relate to and understand.

I also believe it’s incumbent for all people involved to listen to any questions or confusion with your whole attention, without interruption or derisive, insulting comments.

It makes good business sense to get the best from the WHOLE workforce without alienating those who are not in the “in group”. It is simply good manners to try to communicate clearly and to work at it ‘till you succeed.

One last thought: If you don't understand team sports and games, does that necessarily make you a poor employee where gameplaying behaviour is prevalent? Is there a place for all personality types which makes for a richer work environment?

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Happiness tip - Move!

2011-09-27T20:23:00.000+10:00

Have you thought of having 'Happy hour' at home? Not the Friday afternoon one, guzzling cheap wine and warm beer (no offence meant to my British readers), but something a lot more personalised.

I'm referring more to doing something for yourself, something that makes you feel special and which supports your values. It doesn't have to be a major change to your routine or even take a whole hour.

I've been pulled up short a couple of times recently by friends who have ever so tactfully pointed out that I'm not practicing what I preach.

One of the things I value is feeling healthy, but I wasn't allowing any time for exercise. Not good Sue.

Movement other than from desk to car and back again had gone by the board. I'm not keen on sport and don't like gyms - but I knew I had to do something, or my poor little body was going to seize up or atrophy or something horrible. I know exercise is good for my brain, I know it's good for my body, I know I feel better when I move - but I hadn't made it a priority in my daily schedule.

If I truly value feeling healthy I need to allow that value space to flourish. It simply can't happen if I crowd the day with other stuff (including work). But how to squeeze it in to an already full day? Happy hour for the body? It's a good ideal and might work for some, but nope, that's not going to happen for me, not every day - that would end in frustration, failure and feeling defeated.

But what I can do is start where I am, and take small, achievable steps, non threatening tiny steps, in the general direction of my value.

What I've done is set my phone alarm for twice a day to remind me to move. The alarm is a chirpily sweet bingly beep, it's lighthearted and cheerful to remind me that exercise is possible and achievable NOW! 2 or 3 minutes doesn't sound much, but it's in the direction of a core value and that's good, right? Happy minutes for my body, brain and spirit!

I've been moving more (could this be called exercise?) for a couple of months now and it's not scary or intimidating. I can do 2 or even 3 minutes (stop laughing!) and sometimes more. I have a small wooden box, just the right height to step up and down, up and down - 20 reps, twice a day, and then some twisty things to help my middle become more mobile. I know I need to keep it up for a bit longer for it to become a habit, but it's very much part of my routine, equal to brushing my teeth after meals - not a chore, not disliked, just there to be done.

The benefits so far:
a) I haven't noticed any particular loss of time from other things (like work).
b) I feel generally better physically and more energised and alive after even this small amount of movement.
c) I feel good about myself - I'm supporting a core value and feel good at achieving my simple goals.
d) I was able to walk and walk and walk in China, up steepish inclines, along rough tracks, for kilometres around Shanghai with no stiffness at all. Now, that was a real benefit and far better than any commercial 'Happy hour'. I could so easily have said: "Oh, 2 minutes is nothing, it's not worth doing". It was a direct, tangible benefit ... yippee!!

Have you been ignoring any core values that would enjoy being nurtured for a few minutes each day?

Could you spend time reflecting on your thoughts and feelings, relaxing or being mindful?

How will you benefit?

Ping An - looking up - lots of steps! The terraces contained rice
and a wide variety of vegetables.

Ping An. Is it possible there were less
downward steps? We seemed to get back very quickly.

More China reflections over at Jumping aground.
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Stepping on an aphorism - or not?

2011-09-24T14:00:00.001+10:00

Seen woven into a carpet in a Shanghai restaurant:

The darkest places in hell

are reserved for those

who maintain their

neutrality in times of

moral crisis

or not

Shanghai

What do you think?

More photos and comments about my recent trip to China are over at Jumpingaground.
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Making space in a crowded schedule

2011-09-18T13:16:00.000+10:00

Has anyone else noticed how easy it is to give sound advice to others, but how hard it is to take that advice yourself?

I’ve mentioned before how important good sleep, healthy diet, adequate exercise, mindfulness and hanging out with friends are for general wellbeing. Of course I know these things are equally, if not more important to pursue when things aren’t going so well. Having said that, it’s then that they seem to go down the gurgler.

A local employer, BlueScope Steel at Hastings, has recently laid off 270 people, and I’ve been involved in the services offered to help these employees retrain and find future employment, all of which I am not only good at, but thoroughly enjoy. I like being part of a professional team using my skills, lateral thinking, knowledge of retraining options and career development to help make the path from redundancy to re-employment as smooth as humanly possible.

These men who have worked with steel, have loved their work and the culture at BlueScope and many are really suffering with new, painful, raw emotions: grief, loss, frustration, panic, anger and fear. Being able to assist and support is a great privilege, but there is a personal impact as well.

Other than not getting enough exercise, eating poorly and having too much sugar and coffee, (all of which I advise others to beware of) one of the other things I’ve skimped on is blogging. Blogging has come to be surprisingly important in my weekly schedule by giving me a space to reflect and grapple with issues of values, ethics, integrity and many other things as well. But it’s also very time consuming: writing, visiting others, reading, commenting and replying to comments has gone by the board.

I’m keen to get back to discussions about bullying, as well as the recovery process and techniques for healing, including mindfulness, and I’ve missed visiting your blogs! However, for the time being, blogging and all its pleasures will have to wait as I focus on this work role, cook healthier meals and get adequate exercise and rest.

cheers

Sue
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a question

2011-09-08T16:05:00.000+10:00

Can you identify what's involved in walking the extra mile so that you can achieve your current goal?

Frankston pier.

Illness strikes 'the Report'

2011-09-02T15:21:00.000+10:00

Isn’t it frustrating when something goes wrong with Blogger. If you’re like me you fumble around trying to see if it’s something obvious, grumble a LOT, then in desperation head off to the Help Forum to see if others have had the same issue. More often than not, an unknown person, usually operating under a pseudonym, will take up your question and do their best to help us fix the problem.

Sometime last year, I was extremely frustrated by a Blogger issue that I knew would be obvious to someone in the know. So being the sort of person who insists that “the only stupid question is the one you don’t ask” thought I’d better hightail it to the forum for help.

My confusion was sorted with the minimum of fuss.

It’s easy to forget that the help forum is “staffed” by real people who want to share their knowledge and contribute positively to the blogging community. They are unpaid, often unacknowledged, and, I suspect, rarely thanked.

One Blogger Help Forum bloke (who I’ve never met in person) has provided me with a great deal of technical support. the Report is peppered with outstanding Blogger information, good screenshots and explanations - that for the most part I can understand!

Unfortunately, Bob of the Report (and around 30 - yes you read that right, thirty - other blogs) has had an Ischemic stroke, and is pretty much out of action for the moment. I’m sure he’ll be working his guts out to overcome the problems he’s being faced with and will show the same focus on contributing to his own recovery as he’s shown in helping us overcome Bloggers irritating glitches.

Bob is very frustrated, not only by being unable to contribute on the Help Forum or write any posts, but because he can’t communicate as he’d like to. He hasn’t suffered any obvious paralysis, but finds typing excruciatingly slow and difficult. He has trouble interpreting words and his fingers simply won’t hit the keys he wants them to.

I’m sure that anybody who has dipped into Roberto’s Report or been helped by Bob on the Help Forum will agree that Bob has contributed significantly to easing the frustrations we experience with Blogger all too often. His help will be sorely missed, but he assures me he'll be back as soon as possible - "Good onya Bob!"

I just want to thank Bob for all his help. And so, Bob, thanks from me and from all the other people in blogland for sharing your expertise so generously. I'm sure we all wish you a full and speedy recovery.

Get well soon Bob, keep exercising, and look after yourself.

What's in a name?

2011-08-04T13:00:00.000+10:00

What does your private communication with your followers or clients say about you?

I’m going to confess to two scenarios where I made an error when referring to someone hosting a blogging challenge. No big deal you might think, but it got me thinking ...

The first: I published a post where I got the gender of someone hosting a blog challenge incorrect.

The second: via email, where I referred to a co-host of a blog challenge incorrectly, using their last name as if it was the first name.

In the first instance, the error was tactfully brought to my attention and fixed promptly.

In the second, the return email inferred that I was lazy in not checking the name more carefully and stated that I was not giving the co-host the attention they deserved.

In the first instance I was possibly seen as a human being with failings that were accepted, or maybe it was ‘people get my first and last names mixed up all the time’, or even, ‘silly woman, didn’t she see the very masculine photo on my blog, it’s obvious I’m not female!’ I felt a bit silly, but it was all fixed with a minimum of fuss.

In the second instance the message appears to be that I’m a sloppy, careless person who shows a lack of respect. I can apologise of course, but at the moment feel that further communication isn’t going to achieve much - I feel that I have been judged and found to be inadequate.

I then began reflecting on the reasons people make ‘mistakes’ that may on first glance appear to be careless and how in all our communication we reflect aspects of ourselves, which can sometimes be misconstrued.

But deeper than that, the response got me thinking about my personal work and how I respond to emails and phone calls. Am I generous in my dealings with clients? Do I give them the attention they deserve?

Of course many of us are time poor. Life gets pretty busy with work, family, friends, blogging and all the complexities of life. Sometimes we aren’t as careful as might be ideal, but if added to that was the pressure to be perfect in our communication, would we get anything done? Do I respect this when I receive an awkwardly worded email?

If I was dyslexic, would I even notice the error of a name being reversed and possibly misspelt? Am I tolerant of misspellings?

How does living with chronic pain affect your communication? If you’re recovering from a medical procedure, and the after effects of an anaesthetic, how does that affect your ability to communicate, and the way others perceive you?

People live with ADD, ADHD; there are diseases of the brain and body that make concentration difficult, even alien. Many people who communicate with us are functioning as best they can, some will be suffering the effects of low or fragile self-esteem, having been bullied at home or work. How does this sound in an email or tentative phone call? Do I remember to 'read between the lines'?

How much courage does it take for someone to make the first tentative step to call for an appointment? If it’s taken 6 months, could my response set them back even further, perhaps never to seek help again?

Do I judge before I think?

And perhaps equally as important, do I allow myself to make mistakes, or do I bully myself for being less than perfect?

It's always interesting to see where thoughts lead - I think I'm almost grateful for what at first seemed an inconsiderate, condescending email.

Q: What do you think? Has illness or some other life event affected how you communicate? How have others responded to you?

**I'll be away for a few weeks in China, and due to their restrictions will be unable to access Blogger or post replies. I look forward to catching up with you all when I return.

I've shared a couple of photos of Macau over at jumping aground - link here.

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A path to Happiness - Meditation

2011-08-01T19:29:00.001+10:00

At the recent Happiness and its Causes conference in Brisbane, the former scientist, now Buddhist monk, Matthieu Ricard (who is often described as the happiest man in the world), spoke about how the mind can be transformed from being agitated and anxious to a state of focused calmness, if we train it systematically. (Wiki bio here) Anxiety will be reduced, loving kindness and compassion will be increased and life is worth living because we find more meaning in it.

The unfocused, agitated mind can be trained in focused attention
We are unable to control the outer world, but we can train our mind by sitting quietly and focused, to decrease stress and improve our sense of well-being and fulfillment.

“It was only in 1998 that neuroscientists discovered that new neurons are continually being generated in the adult brain” the term that is being used is brain plasticity – great news for those of us who had believed that we were on a downhill trajectory after the age of about 25.

But it also means that just because you've been stressed, hypersensitive, or lived with ADD or ADHD all your life, it doesn't mean it has to stay that way for ever - you can start today to create positive change.

Using brain imaging and behavioural tests it’s possible to look at the inner workings of a meditator’s brain, using Western research techniques, to begin to understand the beneficial mental states achieved through meditation.

Photo of Matthieu Ricard by Waisman
Brain Imaging Lab,
University of Wisconsin - Borrowed from here

Put simply, it means that scientists can point to the parts in the brain to show that meditation works to create a happier person.

Happiness
Genuine happiness results from the deep fulfillment that arises from a healthy mind; it enables us to deal with whatever comes our way. We hear of people who appear to live in paradise, but are miserable - we know that what happens outside us doesn’t necessarily make us happy. By adopting a few achievable techniques from the 'super meditators' like Matthieu Ricard, we learn to become less vulnerable to the vagaries of negative life events.

Highly regarded doctors, psychologists, scientists and others have been systematically gathering evidence for many years that practicing techniques such as Mindfulness Meditation, can have profound effects on our psychological health, general wellbeing and overall happiness.

Throughout the conference it was emphasized that successful meditation rests on discipline, not wishful thinking. But, most encouragingly, it is completely unnecessary to trade in your day job to become a Buddhist, or indeed any kind of monk. Just a few minutes of sustained voluntary attention each day as you pause from your regular chores is powerfully beneficial. That’s great news for those of us for whom meditation seems awkward and somewhat alien.

Interesting article about Matthieu Ricard and meditation here
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Do you bully yourself?

2011-08-01T15:13:00.001+10:00

Last month some people dropping by might have thought; “Workplace bullying? Nope, that doesn’t apply to me; all is fine here".

You might have a comfortable home life, nothing out of the ordinary in the line of illness, your relationships are loving and secure, with no particular problems.

You may even have wondered what all the fuss is about regarding bullying. I've heard the comments such as "Suck it up" "Toughen up" "Stop whinging" to name a few.

A few people contacted me and said something very similar. But there was a niggle, a sense of unease and it turns out that although they’re not on the receiving end of serial bullying at work, they’re definitely on the receiving end of their own well crafted and highly personalised bullying. Could this apply to you?

The uncensored cruelty some of us dish out to ourselves – and that we believe – can be as damaging as serial bullying by a co-worker.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking: “Oh I couldn’t do xyz, I’ll never be as good as … so I won’t try.”

“I stuffed up last time, so I’ll give it a miss now”.

“Gees you’re crap at this aren’t you. Why are you wasting your, and everybody else's time?”

“Eeeew, you’re getting a bit big for your boots now aren’t you; better quit before you make a fool of yourself.”

“You don’t really think you can compete with x do you! What a joke! Oh, they’re going to laugh long and loud when they see the drivel you’ve come up with.”

or even: "You know they'll realise you're a fraud really soon; better stop now."

Nyip nyip nyip all day long, it can be utterly exhausting. It's no wonder life can feel utterly draining sometimes, is it.

That critic sitting so brazenly on your shoulder can be a malicious, vicious, undermining sod; sniping, whinging and moaning and with direct access to your ear. Very difficult to escape!

In summary, what we hear, day in, day out in the privacy of our own head can be equally as vicious, malicious, undermining and relentless as what I’ve described regarding workplace bullying.

What to do?
Kurt Vonnegut often wrote about how we should behave towards one another, and believed strongly that we should treat each other with kindness and common courtesy. I’d like to add that ideally, we should treat ourselves in the same manner.

Do you treat yourself with common courtesy? With kindness, compassion and tolerance?

The Dalai Lama in Sydney 2009.

Treating ourselves kindly is a choice, and we can learn to treat ourselves as we would treat others, although it ~~may~~ will take time and effort. As the Dalai Lama said at a lecture I attended - and I'm paraphrasing here - we can take a pill to make ourselves feel better for a short time - this is easy - but we need to make wise choices about how we will live for the effect to be long lasting.

While shaking his head in wonder he described a person taking anti-depressant pills to feel better, yet continuing to abuse the mind and body with unhealthy life choices.

What can we adopt in our lives to begin loosening the grip of the negative sniper on our shoulder and stop bullying ourselves?

In one of last month’s posts I mentioned in passing, a television series that aired here in Australia called "Making Australia Happy". In the next post I’ll look a bit more at the ideas presented, and the ways we can address those snitchy undermining comments.

Until then, “How do you treat yourself?”

Thanks to Roberto at Roberto's Report for describing how to continue posting even when the Spinning Wheel of nothingness strikes!
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Law of threes

2011-07-29T12:05:00.000+10:00

You know how it is, something happens three times in a short space of time and your ears prick up; the rationale being that the universe is giving you a nudge and here’s something you should take seriously and act on.

But I’m not superstitious (hmmm, maybe just a bit) so perhaps that should be lore of threes?

However, to the point - last week I received:

1. an email from a loved and respected friend suggesting I join Twitter
2. information from a respected blog-buddy sharing information about Twitter as a support for your blog
3. and noticed that a number of non-loopy bloggers who had been sceptical about Twitter have joined and begun tweeting.

Crap. That’s all I need, another distraction.

Tweeting = Fear
So being me, I took notice of the lore of threes, dug out my Twitter account, dusted it off and promptly felt like a right prawn.

I don’t know how to Tweet, I don’t understand the etiquette, the language, the genre (?) in fact I don’t understand much about it at all. And I especially don’t like that prickly, unpleasant out of depth feeling that could be called fear. You know the one, where the tummy harbours energetic butterflies resulting in queasiness, the hands sweat and the brain goes blank. Nope, I don’t like that at all.

Rationality prevailed! (...possibly) This is my standard reaction to being out of my depth. It’ll pass sooner or later - best just to forge ahead.

I haven’t lost my marbles (I hope).
So far, I’m using Twitter as a personal reminder about the importance of regular exercise, general well-being, brain health and connecting with others. But in the spirit of giving this a fair go and not being totally self-centred, I aim to share links to information on bullying, mindfulness, well-being, education and brain health. But then again, that might not happen at all. Maybe I’ll hate it, get bored and give it away as the time waster that I labelled it years ago.

For the moment though, I'm diving into the unknown, full of curiosity.

Getting some exercise and looking for interesting things to share:

Searching, searching:

Ta daaa:

cheers
Sue.

Random Acts of Kindness

2011-07-27T09:20:00.000+10:00

are known to improve self esteem, happiness and overall well-being.

With no money spent
and no strings attached
what kindness can you give
to whom
today?

Boat sheds - Mornington

Norway

2011-07-24T11:29:00.000+10:00

Today I'm over at jumpingaground sharing my thoughts for Norway and my blog friends with a Drabble (here). For well expressed information, check out the Giraffability of Digressions, Here.

East Side Gallery. Berlin.

Delectable sweetness?

2011-07-22T17:52:00.000+10:00

It's yummy, but is it having a negative effect on our wellbeing?

Of course we're aware that biscuits, cakes and soft drinks are generously laced with sugars or sugar like products. But when you're buying packaged and processed "convenience" foods it's a real challenge to decrease your sugar intake as it's been added to so many foods.

It's possible to avoid the obvious ones if you're determined, but as David Gillespie says in his blog How Much Sugar here:

"A smoker is addicted to nicotine. Nicotine is found in cigarettes, cigars, tobacco, nicorettes and insecticide. It’s not the kind of thing you’re likely to come across by accident. In fact anyone consuming it, is doing so very much on purpose.

If you decide that you no longer wish to be addicted to nicotine, there is a very short list of things you should stop doing:

Do not put cigarette in mouth.

If you discover a cigarette in your mouth do not light it.

Do not drink insecticide.

There. Done. Now you just need to wait about three weeks for the addiction to pass. Easy.

A Sugarer (the collective noun for people addicted to Sugar – and yes I did just make that up) has a much more daunting task ahead of them.

The active ingredient (from an addiction point of view) in sugar is fructose. Thanks to the marvels of modern food production, fructose is now embedded in almost every single food item on the supermarket shelf. Imagine how hard it would be stop smoking if everything you ate or drank contained the addictive ingredient.

Giving up fructose is far harder than giving up nicotine. You still have an addiction to fight but before you even get that far you’ve got to pick your way through a minefield of fructose filled foods."

Well said David! Visit his informative website and blog for further information, Sweet Poison is (here)

I was shopping this morning and dare I say, feeling just a little smug, after all I choose mostly fresh foods, and cook from scratch. I enjoy cooking (mostly ... when I have time). I'd been rabbiting on about hidden sugars and just out of curiosity had a look at some baby foods marketed as first solids, all pure, nothing added. All had at least 1 teaspoon of sugar per serve! Not just the fruit mixes, but the vegetable ones too. I hate to think what that does to the little ones emerging teeth, and so often you see young mums feeding their children convenience foods, then a fruit juice if not a soft drink that has been decanted into a baby bottle.

A browse through my pantry was in order now ... and were there any surprises?

You bet! The innocent looking and very handy herb blends have between 2 and three teaspoons per hundred grams, and are also stuffed with salts. I'm regularly adding a teaspoon or more of unnecessary sugar to meals that wouldn't be there if I'd used fresh herbs, and I don't want to think about that extra salt.

I knew tomato sauce was laden with salt and always choose the low salt option, but discovered that for each 20 ml (a modest sized dollop) there is one whole teaspoon of sugar. It's very easy to have double that at a barbeque, without really trying. However, if I chose my favourite Eggplant Pickle, there's a whopping two teaspoons per serve. Ouch.

What you can do
Sugars aren't always labeled to be consumer friendly, so you'll need to check out the labels of all foods very carefully if you want to cut down on those secreted away in foods.

There are a number of alternative names for sugars to look for on package labels - glucose, fructose, sucrose, lactose, maltose, corn syrup, dextrose.

No added sugar
What exactly does that mean? Simply that the manufacturer hasn't added any extra sugar to the product he's purchased. However, the product itself could be positively stuffed with sugar (or salt, or MSG or whatever) and the label may be seen to be true and accurate.

I remember hearing about a rather scrumptious juice available at a juice bar here which claimed to have no added sugar. It emerged that whilst the juice bar didn't add sugar on the premises, their suppliers had already laced the beverage with generous quantities of sugar, but called it (correctly) fructose. I'd use the word obfuscation for that practise.

Health issues
As David cited, all of these extra sugars are creating massive health problems when they're over consumed, and as I've found, it's extremely challenging to be aware of all the food items where sugar is stashed, even when you're a relatively savvy consumer.

Given that the negative health effects may increase the risk of obesity, type 2 diabetes, leading to insulin resistance, not to mention tooth decay, I think it's worth being a wary consumer. How about you?

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Reality TV meets the science of Positive Psychology

2011-07-20T19:21:00.001+10:00

Making Australia Happy

Doctor Anthony Grant, one of the three presenters of the TV series, Making Australia Happy (2010) spoke at the recent Happiness and its Causes conference in Brisbane.

I wrote briefly about the series here (link). The excellent web site for the show is here (link)

The goal of the series was not to make the participants happy, but to introduce them to a number of interventions including Positive Psychology. It was hoped these would improve their levels of happiness over an eight week period. “The overarching aim of the series was to introduce positive psychology concepts to the general Australia public in order to encourage the use of scientifically validated approaches to the enhancement of wellbeing on an individual and community level.” says Dr Grant.

Participants were chosen so that the general public could identify with them; essentially they were 'the person next door'.

How happiness was measured
Dr Grant and his peers devised a happiness test, which incorporated a number of well-validated measures; this became known as the “Happy 100 Index”. (You can take the test here.) However, because the professionals wanted to go beyond a self-reported assessment, a range of physiological tests were also included, including blood pressure, stress, and sleep. Brain activity was measured before, during and after the programme.

The programme was holistic and acknowledged that diet and sleep can affect wellbeing significantly. As such, physical exercise levels, sleep patterns and diet were all examined. The participants were given feedback about the results, and sleep, exercise and dietary changes were encouraged as needed.

There was not a ‘one size fits all’ approach, but an acknowledgement that different interventions would suit different individuals.

The interventions included
   1. Eulogy. Write your own funeral speech including what you hope to be remembered for. It helps us focus on the goals and values that are most important to us.

   2. Random acts of Kindness or altruism. It’s known that doing something good for another has a positive effect on wellbeing. Participants were encouraged to engage in some form of meaningful activity for others.

   3. Mindfulness activities, exercises and training. Participants were introduced to ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) by Dr Russ Harris who also spoke at the conference. (More on this another time).

   4. Gratitude. Participants were encouraged to express appreciation and praise of others.

   5. Forgiveness. This tends to be the aspect many of us avoid addressing in our lives, and can be scary to confront. We harbour resentments, and these can be like a cancer of the soul.

   6. Reflection, review, renew. Participants were encouraged to pause and look at what was working or not.

The results
Dr Grant openly acknowledged that while he has expected some improvement in self-reported wellbeing, he had not expected the substantial improvements in the biological markers of well-being.

Participants with high blood pressure and cholesterol experienced a substantial drop in readings; levels of immunity increased as did measures of resilience.

Most interestingly, the brain scans showed less activity, participants were calmer, and as Dr Grant said in the presentation “a quiet brain is a happy brain”. A calm, happy brain is less agitated, with its owner more at ease with themselves and others.

The participants reported an increase in satisfaction with life, and this affect remained at the 6 month follow-up after filming was over. That's excellent news about things we can all adopt relatively easily.

There was no single overall most effective intervention, and although Positive Psychology sounds like it focuses only on pleasant emotions, participants were encouraged to embrace the full range of human experience – not to avoid or shy away from more challenging emotions such as sadness, grief or anger, but to build a full, rich and meaningful life accepting these emotions as part of that richness.

One of the beauties of the series that the viewer was able to relate to the participants, there was no embarrassment, cringe-worthy moments or feeling superior. I would describe it as supportive, and encouraging. These were real people trying to improve their lives. No winners, no losers, just people very much like you and me.

So if you’re feeling a bit down, a couple of things you can do RIGHT NOW (yes really) are check out your diet, turn off the electronic devices when you go to bed (all of them!) and right now, stand up, and do some gentle exercise.

If you're interested, you can do many of the exercises presented in the programme using the materials on the web site. Here it is again!

I'm going to head off now and do 2 sets of step-ups before I begin getting dinner then I'll complete the Happiness questionairre. I wonder if I'll be game to share my score?

*If you're think you could be depressed please seek professional support - if you don't know where to start, try Beyond Blue (here), Lifeline (here) or your local GP (General Medical Practitioner).
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Blog break continues.

2011-07-04T09:14:00.000+10:00

I'll be back in a couple of weeks as I am unlikely to be have internet connection on the journey home. The plan is to return to Victoria via western NSW. Hope to see you back here then.

South Bank. Brisbane 2011.

The Transformers Choir & the power of music to heal.

2011-07-01T12:50:00.000+10:00

Songwriting as a tool to process grief.

Dr Felicity Baker at the Happiness and its Causes conference discussed research into the power of music which showed that listening to music helps people who have had strokes improve their cognition and ability to think. She also discussed the therapeutic value of songwriting as a tool to help process grief as well as joy.

It’s like telling healing stories in a musical way.

We heard in a panel discussion that musicians are sensitive souls who need to understand the depth of human emotions to be able to express them through song and music.

“It’s a gift to be able to move people to tears. Musicians are sensitive souls and need to understand emotion and to share, to be vulnerable in front of an audience for a living, to lay oneself bare, for the emotions to be bare, as a gift to the audience”.

The Transformers Choir
The Transformers are a group who experience extreme disadvantage in their communities and may experience mental health problems, general disability and homelessness in inner city Brisbane. Nonetheless they rehearse weekly and perform regularly. Their motto is a quote from Hans Christian Andersen: “Where words fail, music speaks”.

Transformers Choir - pic from here

The goal in creating the Transformers Choir was to bring people together as part of a community, to connect with others and let music do its magic. Creating music added a new focus to their lives. Participating in the group has given meaning to many and some group members say they feel less depressed. Apparently focusing on creativity in one sphere of our lives can encourage us to be creative in how we deal with ourselves in other areas.

The Transformer’s songwriter Brian Procopis, listens carefully to group members and collaborates fully with the contributors, it’s their experience he’s writing about, not his, and he’s very respectful of this. The bad stuff in life isn’t ignored or denied, and is incorporated into song, but the primary focus is on creativity and the process of writing the song. This was a really powerful illustration of the therapeutic effect of music and song that Dr Felicity Baker mentioned.

So much to think about. I’m in awe of the courage it must take to perform on stage when you are vulnerable, not only as a musician but as a member of a group disengaged from mainstream society.

This comment moved me deeply: “The Transformers want to be inspirational and give to the audience”.

There we were, a privileged audience, consisting of professional, medical, creative, religious, artistic, and generally well to do people, being offered a gift from those who have little to give, expect themselves, their voices and their experiences.

It's really the greatest gift of all isn't it, to give yourself. Not a thing, not something with a dollar value, but yourself. They have nothing, but they gave everything.

I felt gratitude, but also humbled, privileged, honoured, energised, uplifted, and moved to tears.

They received a standing ovation.

***

Creativity. Music. Curiosity.

A great combination to begin the healing process after bullying.

Given what we now know about the power of song-writing to aid healing, it'd be great if those who have been the targets of bullying, and are hurting in other ways, could have a go at writing about your experience in song and perhaps make up a tune for it. Or if that's a bit too daunting to start with, try singing a song perhaps while washing the dishes. See what happens. Be inspired by the very obvious benefits the Transformers experience and see how it pans out in your life.

Articles about the Transformers Choir here and here.
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Happiness and its Causes - Do you want sugar with that? Part 2

2011-06-28T15:02:00.003+10:00

David Gillespie is among many people who believe sugar is an addictive substance and that we should consume significantly less of it than we do. But is it easy to break an addiction when the substance is crammed into most convenience foods which are so readily and enticingly available?

I mentioned here how sugar, MSG and other salts are being added to a greater variety of foods and in grossly larger quantities than ever before in the history of mankind. And we’re paying the price of a fast food lifestyle with obesity, depression, type two diabetes and other damaging and costly health effects.

A number of people have mentioned to me how difficult it is to break the addiction to convenience foods. So, how do you begin to break the vicious cycle?

I'll mention some today, and share information about "The Happiness Diet" later on.

Jan Morrison over at This Crazy Writing Life (here) has been talking about Kaizen – adopting small, achievable steps to change.

In contrast, one of the moderators at the conference talked about removing all sugars from her diet in the space of a week. She suffered horribly the first week, found it really hard for the second week, but after a month she began to feel better than she had for years. It's not something I’d encourage without sound medical reasons. Not only are you going to have withdrawal effects, but your brain will likely panic, have a bit of a hissy fit and retaliate by craving more - just in case it's going to be deprived for ever! That seems to be how it works all too often for most of us, and the result is yo-yo dieting and grumpy mood swings.

I’m more comfortable with the Kaizen path. Instead of munching on a whole Mars bar, choose a smaller one, or leave a bit and keep the rest for later, or throw it away if possible! If you’re used to chewing through a museli bar (they’re packed with sugar, but appear innocent) for morning tea, try eating 2/3 of it and wrap the rest for another time. Celebrate every mouthful not munched with a loving pat on the back and a verbal "Well done!" It might seem daggy, but it's worth it, and your brain will enjoy the novelty.

Bush turkey finishing off some ice-cream in Noosa QLD.
If it's not good for us, it's not good for other creatures, and should be in the bin.

I've been known to suddenly realise I'm scoffing something sweet, mouthful on mouthful, not really conscious of what I'm doing and suddenly notice what's happening. My choice at that instant is either to swallow or not. I try to remember that even one mouthful not swallowed is worth it. And occasionally if I've chosen to spit out one mouthful, it's easier to put the rest aside.

That's a pretty good feeling. I celebrate with a pat on the back and sharing with someone who cares. My husband and two friends have offered to support and celebrate with me. We don't talk failure, we share the success of a mouthful not eaten, or a smaller portion consumed. Every tiny step is worthy of our attention.

Check out the labels on the foods you habitually consume.
I’d become quite complacent about checking labels and had been encouraged to use low fat yogurt (which I don't like at all) instead of the full milk style I usually enjoy. A house guest was scathing about the low fat version, and said his wife wouldn’t touch it, but had no idea why. When I looked at the label, I found that the unpleasant no fat yogurt had 4 times as much added sugar as the full milk one I usually buy. (Handy chart here) There is a big difference between brands too, so it's worth checking.

In the previous post I mentioned that David Gillespie's goal is to have no more than 2 teaspoons of sugar per meal. Yet in one very small 100 gram serve of yogurt, which it's possible to eat in seconds, you can consume twice that. And you’re not even had a sweetened drink yet.

The above picture is from Choice, and whilst it doesn't specifically focus on sugar, you can see some of the other frequent additives in foods. The article is available here, and makes for interesting reading.

It's best to purchase your foods from the perimeter of the supermarket and do some preparation yourself. For all the clever, manipulative advertising, convenience foods packed with chemicals don't make for a balanced diet, and the massive multinational companies don't have your best interest at heart. Their bottom line is profit, not your well-being.

So, take small achievable steps, and celebrate every gram of sugar not consumed.

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Happiness and its Causes - Do you want sugar with that?

2011-06-26T21:26:00.001+10:00

How does your diet affect your state of wellbeing? Are you really depressed and grouchy, or could it be the state of your digestion?

What role do the additives in our food have on our moods and wellbeing?

For millennia sugar was a rare luxury. Our hunter-gatherer forebears would have consumed it rarely, and mostly in the form of honey - when they could find and extract it from wild bee hives.

Our bodies and brains then said: “yummy, let's scoff as much as possible!” Our brains apparently turned off the ‘full’ receptors to allow us to keep scoffing, because we didn’t know when this lovely sweetness would be available again. It was a response that had been developed over millennia and was supremely appropriate for a scarce resource.

David Gillespie spoke forcefully at the ‘Happiness and its Causes’ conference about the research that supported his belief that the added sugars in our foods are having a massive affect on obesity with enormous health impacts. His web site is here.

He attests that is isn’t a lack of willpower that makes dieters feel helpless at their failure to lose weight and keep it off, but that the added sugars turn off the “full receptors” and make us want to eat more food in general. It's a vicious cycle that we are unlikely to win whilst we keep eating sugar which he calls 'sweet poison'.

A little bit of history:
According to some historians, throughout much of recent history (at least the 1600’s onwards) the Western diet consisted mainly of bread and large quantities of fruit and vegetables, which supplemented fish, and smaller amounts of meat. Processed foods were unknown. If you wanted something, you had to prepare it yourself, or buy it from a local supplier. Foods were mostly grown and consumed locally. Exotic ingredients like spices and sugar were transported from distant lands at great expense, and as such were considered a luxury and used sparingly.

Until relatively recently it was impossible to over-consume sugar. It wasn’t ever added holus-bolus to foods, and when it was added, it was with great ceremony and reverence. The stuff was simply too expensive to waste unnecessarily on unappreciative guests. It was a very impressive status symbol.

Sugar was purchased as a solidified lump in a form known as a cone. The hard cone of sugar needed to be further processed in the home before use. Chisels and mallets were used to break off smaller lumps, which were broken down further for kitchen use with strong tongs. In the dining room, even smaller nippers were used to break off pieces for addition to tea or the meal. A mortar and pestle was used to make powdered sugar. Quite a bit of energy was expended to get the cone of sugar into a useable form!

According to Bill Bryson in ‘At Home’ “in 1770 per capita consumption of sugar was running at about 20 pounds per head … Britons today eat 80 pounds of sugar per person annually, while Americans pack away a decidedly robust 126 pounds of sugar per head”.

Just to put this into perspective, 20 pounds is approx 9kg. That's about the comfortable weight of a sweet little lap dog. 80 pounds is approx 36kg, which is equivalent to a big dog such as a Labrador. 126 pounds is approx 56 kg. That’s as heavy as Bull Mastiff - that's a huge animal! A whopping increase for a substance that we are designed to have in meagre quantities.

Food for thought:
David Gillespie describes lethargy and sleeping problems being associated with a sugar rich diet. He believes that the over-consumption of sugar leads to insulin resistance, type two diabetes; that it promotes ageing, feeds cancers and is highly addictive.

David has eliminated all foods with added sugars from his diet including sweets, biscuits, juice and soft drink. If his family wants sweet things, they make them from scratch. This enables them to appreciate the item, they know what is in it, and it is eaten with a mindful attitude.

Prior to cutting out most sugars from his diet, David was 40kg overweight; he doesn't appear overweight now. He says he now knows when he feels hungry, and is able to stop eating when he is full. He trusts his body to let him know when to eat or not and is enjoying the experience of being in control of his food consumption.

David set a limit of 10 grams of sugar per meal, ie 2 teaspoons.

Back to some history:
What it means is that in the space of a couple of hundred years, we’ve gone from sugar being a luxury and treated with great respect, to it being shovelled into a vast array of foods, beverages and condiments by businesses that have a vested interest in us consuming as much as possible, no matter what the consequences to us, the consumer. It is now so ubiquitous that we are unaware of it infiltrating foods at a greater and greater rate and at higher and higher concentrations than ever before in history. We don’t have to work to get it, and our bodies haven’t adapted or evolved to process it any differently than in the past.

If the foods you eat are processed and have an abundance of sugars as well as MSG you are facing an uphill challenge. Anecdotally, MSG is associated with an increased desire to eat the food in question – think potato chips, and even rice crackers. One of my friends talks about how MSG is added to make us want to continue eating. Some people believe it should be labelled as an addictive substance. How do you detect it? Have a look at the label: It’s number 621 and is usually called a ‘flavour enhancer’. Taste-wise, it’s when the food tastes unnaturally scrumptious and you just want to keep munching – but because it is a salt, it can leave you feeling thirsty – and what do you drink? Another item possibly packed with sugars and more MSG – addictive indeed!

So we have two apparently addictive items being increasingly added to many processed foods. In case you aren’t feeling a bit manipulated already, spend a moment thinking about the advertising industry. They target the psychology of eating, and carefully and deliberately select the words associated with encouraging you to eat more, and more, and more. “Don’t stop at just one!” “ You can’t say no”.

Is it any wonder many people struggle with their weight, their moods and general well-being? How does what you eat affect you?

This theme is continued in the next post.

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Happiness and its Causes - Pre conference workshop

2011-06-21T17:41:00.000+10:00

I think a good place to begin talking about happiness is at the pre-conference workshop I attended, and with some attempt at a definition of happiness.

Let’s start with what happiness isn’t: Happiness isn’t having what you want whenever you want it. That leads to a selfish attitude that isn’t good for you or those around you.

In the pre conference workshop "The Attention Revolution", the presenter Alan Wallace* described two types of happiness.

Hedonic happiness

We seek it externally; it feeds the senses and is when we try to feed our inner yearnings with “things” outside of ourselves. It's when we hope or expect a person, thing or event to MAKE us happy.

That’s a big ask of any person don’t you think? It’s a bit like saying “I can’t do it myself (ie make myself happy/content/satisfied) but I expect you to do it for me”. (And heaven help you if you can’t fulfil my wishes!) That’s a huge amount of pressure to put onto another person. I can’t help but think that if you want someone else to make you happy, it's a tad selfish.

Many people are addicted to the superficial feeling that hedonic happiness brings. They continually chase the sensation and are subject to the highs and subsequent lows when the sensation wears off or isn’t fulfilled. The craving is the same as with more publicised forms of addiction.

Alan Wallace described it as being similar to ADHD, and the inability to focus sustained attention. “Where can I go next?” “What can I buy next?” “What can I do to prevent boredom?” We’ve all known exercise junkies, workaholics, alcoholics, TVaholics, people always wired and gaming. Retail therapy anyone?

Many people indulge in hedonism to hide from emptiness and pain and as a “pick me up”. You may have noticed this tendency in yourself. What do you use to hide from yourself (warts and all), and what opportunities do you miss as a result?

Eudaimonic happiness

Alan Wallace and others refer to eudaimonic happiness as genuine happiness. It is an inner happiness which feeds the soul, and stems not from what we get from the world but from what we bring to it. He believes it stems from

An ethical way of life
Mental balance
Self knowledge

Genuine happiness isn’t subject to the ups and downs of hedonic happiness and provides us with longer-term stability and security.

More on how to begin to attain eudaimonic happiness later...

Other presenters at the conference included: Dr Jane Goodall, Dr Paul Ekman, Dr Russ Harris and His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

Topics for discussion included: "Cultivating Genuine Altruism", "What's Happening to our Children?" "Compassion", "Empathy", "The Nature of Depression", "We are what we eat", "Music", "Resilience" and "Sex" - in all a very interesting variety of topics related to happiness!

*Alan Wallace trained and lived as a Buddhist monk. He has a degree in physics and the philosophy of science, and has a Ph.D in religious studies.

Many of his teachings are available in podcasts from here and here

**These are my observations, presented through the lens of my own biases and experience and not a verbatim transcription of the workshop or presentations.
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blog break

2011-05-29T11:16:00.001+10:00

Hello,

I'm taking a blog break, and hope to be back mid to late June when I'll be at the 'Happiness and its Causes' conference in Brisbane. I hope to see you here when I return, full of interesting research into the brain and how we construct our own happiness.

till then

toodleoo

Tweed Heads. NSW.

The End Of The World !s Nigh!

2011-05-25T21:58:00.000+10:00

Today's post is over at JumpingAground here

Looking for the end of the world. Cape Schanck. Victoria

Breathe with awareness

2011-05-23T21:10:00.000+10:00

I've been dipping into "The Happiness Trap" by Dr Russ Harris, and I'd like to share a couple of paragraphs about the importance of breathing. It sounds odd doesn't it; but as I said the other day, breathing with awareness can assist beneficially in all sorts of difficult situations.

Russ is talking about a client whose husband and child died in a car crash and how waves of sadness wash over her which trigger a strong desire to drink heavily. She eventually finds that remembering to take even one deep breath can make a difference. "It gave her a few precious seconds to realise what was happening. Then she could make a conscious choice as to whether or not she would act on that urge."

Sometimes she still chose to drink heavily, but over time, she found that by remembering to be aware of her breathing, she was able to make more decisions to drink less (which she knew wasn't helping her recover). Eventually the desire had less control over her, and she felt more in control of her life. She was still extremely sad, but not overwhelmed and out of control with heavy drinking.

Further on he talks about what to do when you're in a crisis.

"No matter how bad the situation you're in, no matter how much pain you may be suffering, start by taking a few deep breaths. If you're breathing, you know you're alive. And as long as you're alive, there's hope. Taking a few breaths in the midst of a crisis gives you valuable time to get present, to notice what's happening and how you're responding and to think about what effective action you can take. Sometimes there is no immediate action to take. In this case, being present and accepting what you are feeling is the most effective action."

I suspect that many people who are suffering from PTSD can relate to the situation above. I really like the last two sentences; "Sometimes there is no immediate action to take. In this case, being present and accepting what you are feeling is the most effective action." It sounds simple, but it may not be easy.

Tidal River. Wilsons Promontory. Victoria.

Another step. Recovering from bullying.

2011-05-20T19:37:00.000+10:00

Last month I looked different aspects of bullying; I’ve now moved on to looking at the recovery process. If you’ve been the target of serial bullying, you’ll understand the challenges involved in coming to terms with what’s happened and learning to live and breathe freely again.

Not long ago someone said to me, that even after having been out of the bullying environment for over a year, it seems almost impossible not to get caught up in thoughts like “If only…” “What if…” “Why didn’t I…” “How did it come to this?” “What did I do wrong?” and other similar comments, even though it is clearly evident they’re serving no useful purpose at all.

What seems to regularly happen, is that after becoming aware of this destructive rehashing, the target begins berating themselves with negative comments along the lines of “You’re useless, you know this isn’t helping”, “Why are you being so mean to yourself, why don’t you go for a walk…it’s because you’re not only useless, but lazy” on and on. As I said the other day, it’s a real double whammy.

This person’s mind is so used to following the well-worn unhappy paths, that it takes committed and conscious discipline to not fall into this self destructive habit; To nip it in the bud as soon as you become aware of it happening.

Could it be that the mind has become a little lazy?

The path to the familiar story of the past can be easy to take. It’s a well worn track, and while you’re busy doing something mundane, you suddenly become aware that the old hurts and painful episodes are playing out again, and again, and again.

Sometimes I think of it like a virulent ‘earworm’. You know, one of those ghastly songs that as soon as you hear the title or melody, you can’t escape it, and it plays for days and days ‘till you all but scream “Get out of my head and leave me in peace.”

But much worse.

Is it helping?

If yes, read no further!

If not, are you able to pause for a moment as soon as you become aware of what’s happening?

A bit like we talked about the other day. Just pause. That’s all for the moment.

The next bit seems to be tricky. It’s just letting all the crap and hurt just be there without putting a value judgement on it, without the shoulds and oughts kicking in automatically. Can you make space for it, give the prickliness of it a little room?

The idea is to begin breaking the old familiar habit and take one tiny step in the long process of choosing and consolidating a new habit. I don’t pretend it’s easy. In a sense it’s a bit like forging a new track through uncharted territory where there appears to be impenetrable jungle full of all sorts of tricky obstacles. Our brains seem to skitter towards the familiar path, even if it’s hurtful.

What’s happening is that when you’re fighting the painful, intrusive thoughts constantly, and pushing them away fearfully, (because they hurt so much) the pathway to them seems to get stronger.

This old path is clear and direct. It’s so well worn from the countless times it’s been travelled that the sides are up high, way over your head and it’s difficult to see over them to what is around outside. To choose to deviate involves conscious effort, slipping and sliding, clutching at the steep sides, scrabbling up and over, but then and only then is it possible to see that being on this track was preventing you from seeing other options.

And so, one step.

Just one.

When the painful thoughts intrude; pause; breathe deeply, three times if possible, stretch tall.

That’s it.

I wonder how many times each day you can do this. 5, 10, 50 or more? Does it help?

...

Recovery from bullying - learning new patterns

2011-05-18T21:11:00.002+10:00

If you’re on the healing journey after surviving serial bullying one thing you can be sure of, the road could well be rocky.

You’re possibly feeling vulnerable and nervous about rejoining the workforce. You may be thinking, “If it’s happened before, it can happen again”, you may be annoyed with yourself for being "weak" in not standing up to the bully (self bullying information here), and feel fearful. For some there will have been the workplace bullying AND self bullying – as if one alone wasn’t enough, you’re contending with a double whammy.

Basically you’re a nice person who got stung badly. You’ll remain a nice person but ideally learn a few skills to help prevent it happening again. Your character will remain attractive to the bullies in the world, simply because you have qualities they fear/envy/or whatever their motivation is. (Information about what bullies look for in Why me?)

What I'm offering here is not a one size fits all suggestion, but one tool to add to your toolkit that might be useful in some instances.

One of the things that many people have said to me is that they have an automatic "Yes" that kicks in when they’re being asked to do something at work.

From childhood we’ve been taught to be accommodating, helpful, to defer to those in authority, to be kind and help people out when they ask. We have NOT been taught to be alert for bullying behaviour or even to know what it is.

If you’re unsure what bullying behaviour is, have a look at The Angst and Anguish of workplace bullying (A in the A-Z Challenge) or How to Recognize Bullying Behaviour at Work (B in the A-Z Challenge) It’s good to read widely and be aware of what constitutes bullying.

The following is adapted from a post I wrote back in November last year.

Many of us regularly find ourselves getting overloaded at work and may have fallen into the habit of agreeing to all and sundry requests, even if they go against our better instincts for self-preservation. Sometimes however, the power imbalance between us and the boss is such that we feel pressured into agreeing - it's a subtle kind of bullying, and can have some negative long term ramifications if not nipped in the bud.

One client found herself habitually saying 'yes' to any request her boss put to her, even if it meant missing both morning tea and lunch breaks, and working unpaid overtime and consistent 'graveyard' shifts. Her health was clearly suffering and she was burnt out and miserable by the time she came to me. It had got to the stage where her boss had come to rely on her compliance and the situation needed a gentle shakeup.

Firstly, stop and think.

That's all.

It sounds very simple, but many people find this first step overwhelming. Remember you may have been trained from childhood to be a “nice”, helpful person. Learning a new pattern of behaviour goes against the grain, and that may bring a sense of discomfort.

Many of us like to feel needed, and being asked to do things can also make us feel important (and there's nothing at all wrong with that - in moderation). In addition, some of us have grown up in cultures that encourage us to put our own needs down, possibly to keep the peace in our family, for religious reasons, and sometimes because one gender is seen to be more powerful (and deserving) than the other.

Some people describe a sinking feeling in the stomach when they pause to assess the situation, and believe they’ll be fired on the spot. It’s ok – pausing may be new and unfamiliar, it gets easier with practice! So, don't be hard on yourself if it's tough to pause before agreeing.

Secondly, ask a few questions. Is it urgent that you drop everything to, for instance, see this client immediately? Will the world fall apart if you use your lunch break to eat and digest your sandwich in peace? Does the patient need urgent assistance that only you can provide causing you to lose your 15 minute afternoon break? Who else is on the scene who could assist?

If you're being asked to take on an additional project unexpectedly it may be appropriate to say "Can I get back to you about that tomorrow morning?" It's a question that comes out as a statement - you may need to rehearse this one.

But please remember, this isn't a 'one size fits all' suggestion, and your response needs to be suitable, thoughtful and respectful, taking into account your personal situation.

Some bosses have developed the knack of catastrophising even the slightest mishap into a drama of world proportions. I worked with a manager like this some years ago, and the department was in a constant state of nervous anticipation waiting for the next 'catastrophe' to fall. It was draining, and led to increased staff 'mental health day' breaks simply to counteract the emotional exhaustion of dealing with the unreasonable and unnecessary demand for immediate action. Need I say, we weren't dealing with life and death situations, but routine, predictable everyday events.

By asking a couple of questions, your boss will quickly see that the pattern is changing. In the best scenarios, this leads to an increased level of professionalism and mutual respect. Interestingly, my clients who've begun using this technique state that their view of themselves begins to change from being a bit of a pushover to more confident and assured. Workplaces haven't fallen into anarchy, and in fact, the workplace culture has often improved.

Thirdly, if the request is reasonable, of course you'll agree graciously. You may choose to drop what you're doing and fulfil the request. In the process however, you'll have regained a sense of control, and a pattern that may have outlived its usefulness will begin to crumble.

If possible, find a trusted person to practice this with. There are times when rehearsing in your head is fine, this isn’t one of them. You need to hear your own voice and find the right words. To begin with, it's awkward and unfamiliar, and hearing yourself saying these new things can be quite unsettling.

Skype
If you think this technique could help you, and are interested in being a guinea pig using Skype please contact me via my web site. (First person FREE!)

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The Making of Happiness

2011-05-16T15:42:00.002+10:00

In my last post, I mentioned a television series called Making Australia Happy, and promised that I’d introduce you to the ideas behind the show. This link leads to the web site attached to the show, as well as to a self assessment Happiness Test. You'll also find suggested guidelines for worksheets, links to the episodes, and the research behind the show. If you're think you could be depressed please seek professional support - if you don't know where to start, try Beyond Blue (link), Lifeline (link) or your local GP (General Medical Practitioner).

Whilst I found the format of the show a bit gimmicky in that it mirrored the games show format of ‘The Biggest Loser’ etc. I stuck with it because of the calibre of the presenters and quality research behind the programme. Normally I’d turn this kind of show off because I’d be very critical of, and skeptical about the validity of the content.

Eight people were selected from a miserable inner city suburb near Sydney. The promotional blurb states “Hoping to find greater fulfillment and meaning in their lives, they’ve signed up to an eight-week happiness program ... they discover that the road to happiness is tough, but that the rewards can be immense…”

They found that happiness changed their biology and the functioning of their brains in a very positive way.

Three professionals from different walks of life explained how their particular intervention would work and how it interlinked with the other two. It is known that each alone is beneficial, but the idea was to encourage each volunteer to adopt all three because of the positive gains when they’re used in combination.

Three strategies

1. Mindfulness was introduced by Dr Russ Harris. When I realized he was one of the presenters I was confident the show would be reputable. Russ trained me in the Mindfulness technique called ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy). I found him to be honest, trustworthy and he acts with integrity. I figured that if he was on board, the quality of the other techniques presented would be equally as good.

Dr Russ Harris taught the eight volunteers some simple, evidence-based techniques for cultivating mindfulness. These were taken from a model called ACT which teaches mindfulness skills through quick, simple exercises rather than the more traditional method of meditation.

The promotional material goes on to say that Mindfulness means paying attention with openness, curiosity and flexibility. The technique (along with other meditation techniques) is gaining the attention of leading medical researchers, psychologists and neuroscientists who are studying the long term benefits for stressed people.

2. Positive Psychology focuses on the value of positive emotions, character traits and environments. The ideas behind Positive Psychology were pioneered by Dr Martin Seligman, and are based on a model of wellness and positive human functioning. A lot of research has been done which supports the benefits of this model. Dr Tony Grant introduces this section.

3. Physical health. A huge amount of research has also been done into the importance of improved physical health to support happiness. A physiotherapist, Anna-Louise Bouvier worked with the participants to look after their bodies, sleep patterns, diet and exercise. As the blurb says “in order to get the most out of their mental training, it was vital for the volunteers to be in good physical shape".

Check out the links, take the test if you want, and have a look at the show if you have time. There's a huge amount of good information and things to do.

Next I'll have a look at other strategies to support those recovering from bullying. I'll revisit ACT and mindfulness later on.
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Justin Bieber meets Casey Heynes - the target of bullying attacks at school

2011-05-06T09:47:00.005+10:00

Justin Bieber isn't someone I'd usually associate with shedding light on the insidious issue of schoolyard bullying. I'd assumed he was a teenager being manipulated and exploited by greedy entertainment types determined to get what they could from his popularity before he got used up and spat out without ceremony. However, it appears I've been proven wrong and he's highlighted at a concert in Melbourne, Australia that he's prepared to take a very public stand on an issue that has such a damaging negative effect on so many children.

Bieber heard about a boy in Australia, Casey Heynes, who'd been the target of serial bullying at school for far too many years. The bullies had taken a video of one of the episodes, presumable to enjoy later. In the clip, we see Casey being harassed by the bullies, no onlookers supporting him, and he snaps.

Heynes was invited to meet Bieber and appear on stage with him. It's interesting how the tables have turned. The target has received worldwide acclaim, been interviewed and appeared on stage with Justin Bieber. The bullies? I wonder what has happened with them ...

Bieber later reveals that he had been bullied at school. It is well documented that serial bullying at school can have a negative impact for life. The target rarely achieves their expected grades, and this can continue for life. As an adult, the person who has been bullied at school can have flashbacks, and doubt their ability to achieve. The brain goes into defensive mode and is simply unable to function as smoothly as it could.

I wouldn't expect Bieber to analyse or articulate the complexities of serial bullying, but I'm so grateful for him using his extremely high profile to highlight the issue.

Maybe, just maybe those in power in the education system will stop, think and adopt, across the board, one of the outstanding programmes that educates everyone to be aware of schoolyard bullying, to acknowledge that it is OUR problem. To accept that together we need to tackle bullying, including every person who steps into the schoolyard, from the cleaners, canteen staff, librarians, administrative staff and teachers, but crucially the student bystanders. We need to teach the Casey's in our communities how to respond effectively and assertively at the first instance of bullying, and to get the onlookers involved to prevent recurrent episodes.

Right now, I'm eating Humble Pie. Justin Bieber certainly appears to be much more than I gave him credit for, and with all the bad and sad news this ~~week~~, ~~month~~, year, I'm grateful.

Thankyou Corey for sharing this clip with me.

Further information on bullying at school here. For schools, teachers and other interested parties: CASSE (Creating a Safe, Supportive Environment - link here) has an inexpensive conference in May 2011 in Melbourne, link here. Another reputable programme by Twemlow, Sacco and Twemlow here.

A-Z Blogging Challenge. Reflections

2011-05-01T20:33:00.006+10:00

What a journey, what a month.

Firstly a humungous thankyou to Arlee at Tossing it Out and his very able crew for hosting. It's been a massive job for you all, and I appreciate the time and energy that you've all put into this event.

Congratulations, well done!

What I've learnt:
Most importantly, don't tackle two blogs in the A-Z Blogging challenge without preparation! It wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. It was utterly exhausting, demanding, draining and I'd never recommend it - ever - to anyone who has an ounce of common sense.

I'd seen the buttons around the blogosphere and wondered what the A-Z challenge was about and thought it looked like fun, so entered my 'for me' blog - jumpingaground - that was all fine and good. Then, on March 31st I had a rush of blood to my head and decided at that late stage to enter my more formal blog. That's plain crazy!

One entry? No worries.
Drabbles? Fine.
Two entries? Insane!

The alliterative Drabbles were fun to write over at jumpingaground , although I found it hard to turn off once I got on a roll. All stories are based on real people and events except Yolanda and her yellow yacht. Many are environment or climate related, others are to do with learning difficulties.

I suspect the idea of writing about bullying had been floating around in my head, lurking, just waiting for an opportunity like this. The structure worked for me. I think if I'd been left to my own devices I wouldn't have attempted it at all or I would have drifted and dithered, with a bit here and a bit there. A-Z provided the scaffolding I needed to do it in one hit.

My list of A-Z Workplace Bullying posts is here.

Before I started, I had no idea how long each post would take. I spent 1/2 a day getting a vague outline together to make sure I would have something for each letter, realised I had something sort of workable, and plunged in. I hadn't anticipated each post would then take many many hours, revising, rewording, checking for accuracy, editing and adding pictures. Some are a bit long, but that's the way they are.

I'm tenacious. This is not good if you're being bullied. It could be possible to hang on and try to make something work when it's destined not to. But for a blogging challenge it's invaluable!

I'll try to remember never to post a comment when I've had a glass or two of wine. It's not good. Now you know why some of those comments were, erm not so clearly written.

It would have been difficult to have completed the posts without the support and input from other bloggers. Each and every comment helped me get through. This topic isn't fun or popular or sexy - to read or to write. Your comments were, and still are, welcomed and cherished.

Why tackle workplace bullying? I hope these posts might be a resource beyond this challenge. I'm horrified at the prevalence of ongoing bullying in workplaces. As a Career Development Professional, my clients tell me what happens in supposedly reputable organisations. The people I work with are honest, ethical, have strong morals and act with integrity. Too many workplaces don't value those attributes, they chew up employees, take everything they can get, then spit out what's left. I felt my addition to exposing some of the tactics used by bullies was a small something I could do to support others and perhaps shed some light on this appalling behaviour.

Knowledge is power. My aim was to share my knowledge in a hopefully easy to read form to empower others.

What I've learnt about others. People are generous. Of course I knew that, but it's been underlined hugely. People have supported me by encouraging others to read the information, they've forwarded the posts on and have commented in a very positive way. That's what I dreamed might happen. Thanks to everyone who has shared and commented.

What have I learnt about blogging?
Success is just a word. Running the two blogs in tandem was fascinating. jumpingaground went from something like 22 followers to 83, but I don't get many drop in visitors or many hits. Keyword search data is wishy washy at best. But it's fun, and it's for me!

In comparison, traverselife went from about 22 followers to 52, which in comparison is 'unsuccessful'. Keyword searches however, show clearly what people are looking for, and I get significantly more hits daily but less or no comments. I've had quiet, consistent, steady support for the posts from people within and outside the blogging community. That's rewarding. People who've contacted me have given me a huge boost, It really makes this feel like a strong community pulling together, and is a reassuring feeling of connectedness. Thankyou.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

For me, the month wasn't fun, but it supported my core values and it has been rewarding doing something I truly believe in. I've done the best I can given that it was unplanned and in a sense done on the fly to conform to the challenge guidelines. I'm pleased with the result, and proud I stuck with it. I wouldn't post like that again for a whole month. It took too much out of me. I need a break.

What do I look for in other blogs?
Meatiness, fun, not self indulgent, interesting, challenging without being derogatory or rude.

What next?
I might do a follow up with something about schools and bullying, add some more links to some good information. Editing needs to happen....drat..... I want to pose the question "Do you bully yourself?" and look at how we're often meaner to ourselves than is healthy. I'm looking forward to eventually writing about the healing process after being bullied. Looking at how we can create rich, full and meaningful lives is something I've wanted to post about, but haven't yet found a structure that feels right. I also want to revisit assertiveness and How to say "No".

Would I recommend this challenge to others? Definitely!

I've just had some insight when I was making a comment on someone else's blog. I went in to this Challenge asking myself what I could GIVE to others. I wasn't focusing on how many followers or comments I could GET. Hmmm.....

Lastly, I have a newfound respect for everyone who has written a book. How do you do it and stay sane? Characters who wander off and create mayhem, plots that refuse to co-operate - gosh you guys are impressive!

How to make a hyperlink (clicky) signature here

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Z. The A-Z of Workplace bullying- An Incomplete Journey

2011-04-30T10:54:00.003+10:00

The areas of Workplace Bullying I've touched on over the past month for the A-Z April Blogging Challenge hosted by Arlee Bird over at Tossing it Out include:

A   Angst & Anguish
B   Bullying behaviour - how to recognise it
C   The Courage it takes to stand up to a bully and the Climate in which bullies operate
D   Danger, Depression and Doctors
E   Ethical behaviour
F   Friends, and how important they are to support the bullied person
G      Guilt. The target may feel guilty for being 'weak'
H   Harassment and Health
I   International students and others
J   Journal - The importance of keeping a Journal
K   Known causes of bullying
L   Lies - bullies tell lots of these
M   Mind, Mates & Movement
N   Nurses and other Nice people
O   Obstructive and Outrageous behaviour
P   PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Q   The Qualities we instill in our children
R   The Responsibility to tackle bullying
S   Sociopaths and Serial Bullies
T   Targets and Teachers
U   Underestimate and Unrelenting
V   Vulnerable - the vulnerabilities a bully looks for
W   Why Me? The personal and professional characteristics that make you attractive to a serial bully.
X   The X factor - why some people act with integrity and others go to ground.
Y   You can do something if you're being bullied.
Z The A-Z of Workplace bullying. The A-Z April Blogging Challenge, 2011.

The focus of these posts was the serial bully in the workplace, however much of the information may be relevant other types of bullying, including:

abusive, manipulative and violent partners and family members
abusers of those in care
bullying neighbours, landlords, authorities
cruelty to animals
cult leaders
child bullies who will evolve into adult bullies
paedophiles
racial abusers
sexual abusers, rapists
violent offenders
...
...

There's so much I haven't touched on, including bullying between tribal or clan groups as we're seeing in the Middle East and human rights abuses throughout the world: Australia, America, Canada, China, Africa, India, we all do it. As societies, we treat people who have different beliefs as lesser human beings. (Think health care reform, religious intolerance, rational climate discussion in the US.)

I haven't even hinted at how countries such as Australia shamefully bully detainees (those people who used to be called displaced persons after the Second World War and who were greeted with compassion and acknowledgement of the horrific experiences they'd survived, but who are now incarcerated behind barbed wire for years). I haven't looked at bullying between countries for scarce and dwindling natural resources. It's just too big.

Bullying is a huge topic, overwhelming in it's prevalence and complexity through all segments of society in Australia and other countries. The A-Z challenge is finished. I'm tired, I need a break.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

If I've raised awareness, and helped someone, somewhere, then it's been worthwhile. I'd love to hear from you if something in these posts has supported or encouraged you or someone you know. If they're reposted elsewhere, please let me know and credit me with the huge amount of work I've put into each and every post, as a courtesy if nothing else. It'd be a real buzz to see the hits here go up and not be siphoned off elsewhere. If there are errors, let me know and I'll amend them.

Making Australia Happy was a short TV series which involved reputable health care professionals. The idea was to invite some very unhappy people to follow specific interventions (nothing weird or outlandish) to see if their happiness levels could be improved. Their Happiness Index was measured before, during and after the interventions. It's well worth looking at. This link to the show includes a further link to the Australian Happiness Index.

How these posts came about
These posts are by no means an exhaustive coverage of Workplace Bullying. I had anticipated writing entertaining Drabbles for the challenge over at jumpingaground, but on March 31st (ie the day before the challenge began) suddenly thought I might be able to do an additional A-Z blogging challenge looking at Workplace Bullying here at traverselife. It wasn't anything I'd consciously planned ahead, although I do have some professional and personal experience.

The posts were never intended to be academic in tone, but very user friendly with pictures complimenting the words. Each post took many many hours of writing and editing, trying to make them as accessible as possible, but even so I'm well aware many need extensive re-editing. However, I've done it! I doubt I'd have tackled such a big topic if it hadn't been for this challenge and my last minute decision to be involved. The topic is complex, nasty and difficult and has had a personal impact - I'm totally drained.

The Photos
Many of the photos I've used were taken at The East Side Gallery in Berlin in November 2009 as well as around that city. I happened to be in Berlin for the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall and spent hours wandering along, jaw dropped in awe at the extensive, edgy, confronting and fantastic art at the East Side Gallery.

The idea of the gallery was that it would be an international wall for freedom and encourage discussion about walls and borders. It's a short section of the Berlin Wall that has been retained and is used as a huge outdoor art gallery, it extends for around 1 kilometre, and is simply amazing. For some of the history of the East Side Gallery see here. Workplace bullying seems to me to be a variation on the theme of walls, borders and obstructions.

All photos are my own, unless otherwise credited. Please don't steal them.

Other stuff
I'll add a resource page at some time, as well as extra links as people share them. I've come across a couple of places that run forums and I'll include them here and on FB when I've had a second look to see if they seem legit.

I haven't worked out the Facebook thing in the side bar, but you should be able to click here to wander over for a visit, share resources, and work together to support others. This is new for me, and I'm not sure where it'll go. I'm not an expert, nor medical practitioner and don't profess to have "the answers". But I do believe that connecting and sharing are an important part of being human. eBossWatch is well worth a visit, click here.

I'm going to take a break from blogging here for a while after Monday's review, though I'll possibly post some more lighthearted words and photos over at jumping aground. I'll be back with my haphazard non scheduled posts when my brain has recovered. I hope to see those who've become Valued Visitors as well as many of you who've dropped by without commenting. I'll probably focus on assertiveness and healing but if anyone has some ideas, please let me know - no promises, but input is welcome.

from Terry Denton's book Flying Man.
Terry's TV series "Gasp" has been nominated for an
ANNECY award in France as Best TV series. Good luck Terry!

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

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Y. You can do something if you're being bullied. Workplace bullying

2011-04-29T08:01:00.002+10:00

You can do something if you're being bullied:
Read everything available and decide whether you want to
a) leave quietly
b) fight
It's a personal decision that only you can make. Discuss your decision with trusted professional/s (healthcare, union, legal etc) as well as family and friends who you may need to lean on for a significant period for support.

Awareness of the insidious nature of bullying is growing, particularly in Australia with some positive changes in legislation happening recently. However, many people would prefer to bury their heads in the sand rather than face the issue proactively.

Pros and cons.

Official complaints
may involve the police

If you leave quietly you may feel guilty for allowing the bully to enjoy finding their next target. After all you're one in a long string of people who have suffered. Some people find this intolerable, and will choose to fight. "No one else should have to go through what I've suffered". Others are too worn out, and need to leave for the sake of their family and own health. There is no shame in this and it takes courage too.

If you fight, it can be frustrating, exhausting, demoralising, take a huge toll on your health and the patience of your family and supportive colleagues. It ~~may~~ will take significantly longer than you believed possible to come to a resolution.

The resolution may be unsatisfactory with the bully being paid 'hush money' and go on to work elsewhere and continue their murky nastiness, meanwhile smirking that they have won once again.

You need a strong support network - fighting bullying will take a toll on your health. The bully will be vindictive and do their best to discredit and distort anything you bring up as evidence.

Your journal (see J) is vital, and you will have (hopefully) recorded everything in writing, kept copies of emails, text messages and the time, date and place of the undermining comments. You will have also kept copies of the time date etc of any complaints you made, and what was done about these. The bully will lie and blatantly deny what you're saying. You need hard evidence.

Good investigators look for patterns.
Remember, for an investigation, it's the number and pattern of repeated comments or actions that are significant and meaningful. You will be called petty and jeered at for your fastidiousness, but it's important to be able to verify the pattern .

You may feel you've been chewed up and spat out.

This information also applies for children suffering with bullies at school, and with school authorities.

It's extremely hard to accept that the person you're dealing with isn't normal. The serial bully doesn't recognise their wrongdoing and will only pay lip-service to making amends. They remain deviousness, ruthlessness, cunning, and deceptive. Once you accept that the serial bully is a sociopath or has a disordered personality it becomes easier to keep fastidious records.

It's during the phase of trying to force yourself to believe that this person is a normally functioning adult that it's extremely difficult. Most of us want to accept that our colleagues are good people, and we keep making apologies for unacceptable behaviour, we're happy to accommodate difference, and try to force ourselves to accept that the behaviour may just be temporary or a quirk. However, if you've called the person to account once, explained the behaviour is unacceptable to you, and there has been no reliable shift or change - start keeping records. The sooner you begin this process, the better.

I'll mention those three things again:

At the first sign of unacceptable behaviour:

1. Call the person to account

2. Explain that the behaviour is unacceptable

3. If there is no change, start keeping records.

(I can see that there is another whole series of posts to do with confidence and assertiveness. Thankyou to C who mentioned the healing process AFTER serial bullying. I've begun researching and will come back to that when I've had a break.)

Something else You can do

If anyone can walk me through the FB logo in the sidebar that'd be great.

I've come across a couple of places that run forums and I'll include them here and on FB when I've had a second look to see if they seem legit.

Here tomorrow: The A-Z of bullying - an incomplete journey.

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration.
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X. The 'X' factor - why some people act with integrity and others don't - Workplace bullying

2011-04-28T06:42:00.000+10:00

The 'X' factor

Why some people go to ground and others act with strength integrity and support the target.

Those who so stand up to bullies, whether by surviving the assault, as whistle blowers or by adding evidence to the growing file against the serial bully are showing courage, determination and integrity. Their motives are as varied as the people. Some say "It's wrong, I have no choice" others " I'm not prepared to compromise my own values and watch this wrongdoing, I don't want to, but it's necessary", others "If I don't do something, who will?" and on workplace sexual predators "I want people like this ousted so my daughters never have to put up with this evil". One client said "Management have allowed this to go on for over ten years. Most people stay a maximum of a couple of months then leave. I'm going to fight it." Some simply want the world to be a better, more harmonious place.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009

Too few onlookers have the courage and strength to stand up against bullying, harassment and corruption. Many otherwise good people turn a blind eye in the presence of an aggressor, particularly a devious, manipulative and possibly charming one. They may feel vulnerable themselves, and are relieved that they have been spared the trauma and are glad they can sit back and watch the unfolding drama. Some may even feel guilty for being complicit in the charade of protecting a serial bully. To speak out may force them to face their own inadequacies.

Understanding of bullying is improving, but too many uninvolved onlookers still state the target should have been stronger and stood up for themselves. I've often heard the phrase: "if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen", or "that person was so weak they left".

Some colleagues will say "I didn't know what to do" (so they don't do anything) or deny having been present when the bullying occurred. Turning a blind eye is less stressful, and at least it keeps the focus off them. They choose not to see what is happening.

Others will refuse to assist in providing supportive evidence when invited, possibly adding to an "us and them" culture and creating divisions in the department that are may be difficult to heal. I recently heard the statement: "I was curious to see how the new person would handle x" (x being the department bully) much the same as if this was a bit of a game. This same person enjoyed being an onlooker at school when there were fights, and appeared to get some pleasure from the exchanges. It reminded me of the descriptions of the Roman Circus where people were fed to the lions in front of thousands of enthusiastic spectators or when watching a hanging was considered a fine form of entertainment.

In instances of sexual predators, some colleagues will try to normalise the bullying attacks as "Oh you must have misunderstood, I'm sure he didn't mean it", or "He's a sad and lonely man, I feel sorry for him" and by implication you should too. No, a serial bully should be exposed and held to account no matter what prestigious position they hold. Normalising the behaviour encourages the bully to continue unabated and immune from censure. Silence equals consent in the eyes of the bully, and when there is a perceived power differential, they'll use this for their own end, confident that the weaker person will remain silent. Co workers can be a life line for the target.

In environments where the bullying is deeply entrenched, it may be regarded as "normal" behaviour. Where employees have not experienced a genuinely normal work environment, they are conned into believing this is how all workplaces operate. When they eventually leave they express astonishment at how much stress they were under and how they had come to accept the bullying as something that happened in all workplaces.

Unless you have experienced serial bullying yourself, or know someone who has, it may be incomprehensible to understand the level of torment dished out relentlessly and maliciously day after day, month after month. If you're in a workplace where a bully operates, think about what small contribution you could make either to expose the bullying behaviour, or to support the target. Sharing stories, supporting the target, kind words and networking with other like minded people - the smallest effort is so much better than choosing to condone behaviour which is completely unacceptable.

These words on part of the Berlin Wall at the East Side Gallery
are also appropriate in tackling workplace bullying.

Why else do onlookers stand against bullying?

What other support can they give a bullied colleague of friend?

Here tomorrow Y: You. What you can do?

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration.

W. Why me? Personal and professional qualities. Workplace bullying

2011-04-27T06:35:00.000+10:00

Why me?
Because you have professional and personal qualities the bully is envious or afraid of. You may also be able to see through the bullies manipulative tactics. The bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; your presence, feeds that fear.

Professionally, you may be:

very good at your job- successful, respected, trusted, enthusiastic, creative, conscientious
popular with people (colleagues, customers, clients, pupils, parents, patients, etc)
an expert, the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional (ie you get more attention than the bully)
your work may be published in respected journals
having a well-defined set of values which you work not to compromise
having a strong sense of integrity
you may be vulnerable (see V) in some way (tough home life, a minority group, different sexual orientation, sole breadwinner etc)
refusing to join an established clique
showing independent thinking, questioning decisions may be seen as challenging
refusing to become a corporate 'yes' person
quick learner

The normal boss is happy to have you on board! Not so the bully.

The following edited list is from bullyonline and pinpoints the personal qualities of many targets of bullying. Follow the link for a comprehensive look at the target's qualities.

slow to anger, tends to internalise anger rather than express it
quick to apologise, even if not guilty, seeks approval
low assertiveness
high coping skills under stress
may defer to those with authority
diligent, industrious
a strong sense of fair play
a strong forgiving streak (which the bully exploits and manipulates to dissuade you from taking grievance and legal action)
giving and selfless
helpful, enjoys share knowledge and experience
strong sense of honour
high expectations of those in authority and a dislike of incompetent people who abuse power
indecisive
desire to tackle and correct injustice wherever you see it
high moral standards which you are unwilling to compromise
perfectionism
difficulty saying no
desire to be reasonable
a tendency to self-deprecation
sensitivity - including empathy, concern and respect for others
thinks well of others
tolerant
undervalues oneself
a strong well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise or abandon
a need to feel valued
avoids violence (prefers to resolve conflict through dialogue rather than through violence or legal action)

The target is often a high performing employee who is used to negotiating maturely through any difficulties or conflict in the workplace. They want to go to work to do the job, not to experience constant harrassment, this is not weakness, but a choice to act in a mature and responsible manner.

Here tomorrow: X - The 'X' factor

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration.
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V. Vulnerable. Workplace bullying

2011-04-26T07:50:00.001+10:00

Vulnerable: Exposed to the possibility of being harmed physically or emotionally, susceptible to attack. The bully will home in on those who they perceive as being vulnerable is some way.

There are many and varied reasons why targets are vulnerable; they may include one or more of the following:

being alone in the world
being seen as 'brainy'
being a caring person
having caring responsibilities at home, being primary carer
having a disability or perceived disability
dressing differently or being unable to afford modern clothing
choosing not to join in with drinks after work
strong sense of fair play
feel guilt quickly
being scrupulously honest
suffering an illness, or taking time off to be with an ill family member
having integrity which you are unwilling to compromise
suffering an injury
having a learning difficulty
being unable to change jobs, limited job opportunities, being a specialist
belonging to a minority group, with a different religion and culture
having no other means of support
the need to pay the mortgage
very reasonable
being a single parent
being a student
being unsure of yourself

Graffiti art on the side of a building in Berlin. 2009.

If you are being targeted by a bully, it's valuable to have a support network who validate your experience and don't brush your concerns aside. Professional people who have expertise in the area, as well as family, friends or colleagues can support you if you choose to stay and fight the bully, or decide to look for another job. (See Y: You can do something)

Here tomorrow: Why me?

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, many with an environmental theme.
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U. Underestimate & Unrelenting. Workplace bullying

2011-04-25T08:32:00.000+10:00

It's best not to underestimate the tenacity of the serial bully. They will have bullied before, possibly for their entire life. They may have started in the rough and tumble of the playground and advanced to the more sneaky secondary system, to graduate into the workplace where their years of practice culminate in holding power over other adults who expect to work with a mature human being.

The bully may have manipulated themself into a position of power where they can bluff and bluster by appearing busy doing important tasks which they tackle with a frenzy of busy work, meanwhile letting everyone around know how busy they are, how vital to the smooth running of the department.

When tackled about bullying behaviour, the bully will profess innocence, insist there has been a misunderstanding, and they are in no way bullying. But they will go on with the same behaviour; they have no desire to change. The trusting target/s forgive again and again, underestimating the seriousness of the problem they face.

Equally, don't underestimate the power of a friendly word to a friend, colleague or family member who is being bullied. A simple "good on you", a supportive email or text message, a friendly comment can strengthen the target's confidence. Your assistance can make the difference between the target feeling completely alone and knowing that others are in the background; reliable and solidly dependable. I've found it best not to assume that those close to the target will be there when needed (for all sorts of reasons). Kind words are usually very welcome.

"Thoughts are like traces of birds in Heaven" as are kind, supportive words.
East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

The serial bully is unrelenting in their desire and ability to systematically undermine the target. The bully will continue leaving devastated co-workers or subordinates in the wake of their malicious, vindictive behaviour. On closer investigation you may find there have been a number of unexplained dismissals or staff leaving without a specific reason. There will be a feeling of tension around the department where a bully operates, a sense of unease and possibly talking behind closed doors. Co-workers may give veiled hints alluding to a lack of harmony behind a blustering facade of togetherness.

The serial bully will manipulate situations shrewdly and deviously to gain any advantage, their goal is to underminine the target and possibly avoid being seen for being out of their depth. Their self serving goals are obtained at the expense of others and they may have no scruples about tampering with data or systems to make the target appear incompetent. One person I worked with found that whenever data needed to be entered on the computer system, it inexplicably 'crashed', but whenever those on the inner group needed access, all was well.

Bullies are masters at manipulation and deception and are operating from a different set of values and moral code than normal, mature adults. It isn't possible to use the same sort of rational discussion or assume they will behave in ways that are calm, considered, rational and reasonable. Bullies manipulate shamelessly, they are devious, cunning, unreliable and simply not to be trusted no matter how many times they promise to change.

***

Here tomorrow: Vulnerability

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, many with an environmental theme.

T. Targets & Teachers. Workplace bullying

2011-04-23T09:50:00.000+10:00

Target: a person, object or place selected as the aim of an attack.

Targets of bullying go to work to get their job done and are rarely interested in office politics or conflict, they're not interested in power plays. They may have high moral values, integrity, a strong sense of fair play and dislike arguments and aggression. The target often has a mature understanding of the need to resolve conflict with dialogue and negotiation. Many are reluctant to make a formal complaint against the bully and would prefer to forgive and get on with the job at hand. They are often extremely strong individuals who are able to withstand serial bullying for years.

The target may be vulnerable (see V) is some way, for instance need to pay a high mortgage or may be a sole parent living off one wage. They may need to stay in a work environment to cover expenses, even though they may be experiencing daily torment and feel locked in, as if there is no escape. They are not weak because they stay.

The target may be artistic, imaginative, creative, academically above average, or may be different in some way. Many targets are caring and empathetic, forgive easily and are unwilling to resort to the lying and deceptive tactics of their tormentor. They are often criticised by the bully as being soft and overly sensitive, but in reality are showing a mature ability to respond to the concerns of others gently, with respect, dignity, consideration and tolerance. In addition, the target may show a strong sense of independence and self reliance, they have little need to be part of the 'inner clique'.

The bully on the other hand will generally try to recruit others into the 'chosen' group. They are malicious, callous, and uncaring about the needs of others. The bully manager may refer to his or her management style as 'tough', 'rough and tumble', 'strong', or 'if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen' and respond with impatience, irritability and aggression when this style is questioned or when he is referred for management mentoring.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

Teachers as targets (link to information for Queensland teachers who are being bullied. Some of this information is relevant for others)

Teachers who are independent, self-reliant, self-motivated, imaginative, innovative, and full of ideas may be targeted by others in the profession, particularly if they have an envious, malicious, bullying department head. The bully boss may be threatened by the competence and popularity of this staff member.

Sadly, many excellent teachers who are keenly aware of the difficulties faced by their caring, gentle students - the loner, the nerd, the learning disabled, the child who is a bit different in some way - may be hounded out of the profession. The hierarchy appears afraid of the very qualities that make them excellent teachers, and often does little to support them in the face of ongoing, relentless bullying.

Sometimes these very teachers have been able to protect the student targets from bullying by other students and staff. When they are "let go" the students are again vulnerable.

Teachers as bullies
Teachers who are serial bullies may also delight in targeting vulnerable students as well as other staff. They are devious, cunning, vicious, undermining, cruel and vindictive when they have found their target. These malicious teachers not only restrict the child's access to enjoyable activities as punishment, but devise humiliating, belittling punishments on a daily basis for the target, possibly making fun of a mild physical deformity or a learning difficulty. They make cruel and callous criticism of the child's work, calling them 'dummy', 'failure' or bringing the classes attention to the simple fact that the child is different is some way.

This constant undermining and bludgeoning of a fragile self esteem can affect the child for life. Many adults have told me that whenever they try to prove that they can do something challenging, the face of their teacher tormentor and the onlooking class appears in front of them, and they hear the belittling, undermining, cruel and malicious comments, even 50 years after they've left school. Many never achieve their potential.

East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

"You'll never amount to anything, I don't know why you try", "What a loser", these and other cruel phrases prevent the student from learning and actually encourage the child to go into a protective mode and should never be used in the guise of "It'll make him try harder".

Uncontrolled shouting is excruciatingly painful for a child with certain hearing difficulties. They cover their ears to prevent the pain, which increases the rage of the out of control teacher. Students in a classroom with a teacher like this will have difficulty learning.

Teacher Training
Teacher trainers please take note: all trainee teachers should be explicitly taught how to manage a classroom effectively so all students can learn, this must include thorough training in effective management of child bullies. Every primary teacher trainee should be given thorough training in how to teach mathematics, reading and spelling to all students including those with learning difficulties. Sending trainee and new primary teachers out without these vital basic skills is appalling, and that it is happening in 2011 is .... (words fail me)...

The importance of tackling bullying in Primary schools is well documented, and makes obvious sense. Twemlow, Fonagy & Sacco have written some excellent papers that I hope to discuss at a later date.

Further information on bullying at school here. For schools, teachers and other interested parties: CASSE (Creating a Safe Supportive Environment) has an inexpensive conference in May 2011 in Melbourne, link here.

What is your experience as a student, teacher or target?

Here tomorrow: Underestimate & Unrelenting

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, often with an environmental theme.
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S. Sociopaths & serial bullies. Workplace bullying

2011-04-22T10:11:00.000+10:00

Sociopaths
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is the current term used by clinicians to refer to what most of us refer to as sociopaths or psychopaths. The condition is considered in part to be "...a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of the rights of others.”

Some professionals estimate that about 4% of the adult population could exhibit these symptoms. Many never commit crimes, or if they do, they aren’t convicted because of their skill in manipulating superiors and their general deviousness and outstanding ability to lie and twist the truth. Many bullies behave in similar ways to a sociopath.

A sociopath lacks interpersonal, social and empathic skills. They may be described as being silver tongued; the can learn to talk the talk, but are unable to consistently walk the walk. They will persistently and aggressively deflect attention away from their own failings onto the target/s while appearing to be extremely busy and needed by other departments. (There is a checklist at the bottom of this post.)

Genuine heartfelt empathy is lacking, expressions of remorse, concern or respect are shallow and glib.

Sociopaths learn to reflect traits of empathy,
but the emotion is shallow and fragmented.

Psychopaths

Whilst the professionals debate the definitions and differences between sociopaths and psychopaths, many non professionals consider that psychopaths are less interested in learning to show compassion and that the sense of feeling inadequate and insecure is lacking.

Years ago I worked in a teaching facility for difficult teenagers where I heard one boy describe a vicious street fight. He expressed no emotion at all about the victim who was being kicked repeatedly and violently in the head. He described the bloody situation analytically, dispassionately, chillingly, and with apparent pleasure. The other students were very aware that he wasn't like them and were disturbed by his description, even though they were all living with violence themselves. Some were fearful, others wary, but none wanted to be involved with him and his callous coldness. This behaviour may have been psychopathic (Please note, I am not a clinician and am in no way making a formal assessment).

Serial bullies
As adults, bullies of all kinds are extraordinarily skilled at deflecting questions, comments or concerns away from themselves. To the observer it’s uncanny how smoothly and seamlessly this is done. People describe being stunned at how the bully seems to be able to anticipate and say what is needed in any given situation.

The bully will often protect anyone accused or suspected of sexual abuse and will frustrate or obstruct investigations into that person. Complaints will go unrecorded and uninvestigated. It is extremely difficult when the bully is the person to whom any complaint must pass through, and incredibly frustrating when information about a bully or sexual predator is not passed up line. The bullying supervisor becomes angry when anyone goes above them to report serial abuse. They enjoy the power of being a gatekeeper and use it to their own ends by filtering information coming up and down.

Bullies are very clever at creating conflict between those who would otherwise pool negative information. They like to divide and conquer. Bullying can be a cover for a deep fear of being found out for being incompetent. They hate to be held accountable but may be able to deceive and evade responsibility whilst manipulating co workers into looking foolish. In reality, they have low self esteem and poor interactions with others. If you have high or normal self esteem you have no need to bully.

The serial bully seems to be able to avoid responsibility for their actions
(Photo: Eastside Gallery. Berlin 2009)

Bullies fear exposure of their inadequacy, immaturity and insecurity. They want to dominate or control and have never learnt how to interact with others normally. The manager who is proud of being "tough" hasn't learnt how to manage maturely and wisely. Some bullies revel in attention seeking behaviour and like to be the centre of attention, they may overdramatise to be noticed and constantly refer to how busy they are - they need to be noticed. Many are emotionally needy, and are unable to act like normal, mature adults.

When recruiting
Employers who are recruiting should always check qualifications and references extremely carefully. Sociopaths, psychopaths and serial bullies are shameless in their ability to lie and deceive to gain a position of trust. Some have been known to recruit allies to pose as respectable and reputable referees by giving misleading information and false names and contact details.

The bully may appear angelic to some
people, but NOT to the target.

Check list
Have any of these terms been used about any of your co-workers?
If so, it's possible they may be a bully.

callous, cold and calculating, conniving, clever and cunning
devious, disinterested
won't negotiate
ruthless in the extreme
scumbag
slime
snake in the grass
tough manager in the extreme
twofaced
unreliable
untrustworthy
wolf in sheep's clothing
scheming
obnoxious

This website gives a layman's checklist of qualities to beware of in the sociopath or psychopath.

Do you have any stories to share?

What words would you add to the checklist?

Here tomorrow: Targets & Teachers

There are many outstanding resources on line. A few I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, CASSE and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, often with an environmental theme.
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R. Responsibility. Workplace bullying.

2011-04-21T09:29:00.002+10:00

Responsibility
As a society we all have the responsibility to act responsibly, ethically and courageously to spotlight cases of bullying, particularly where the targets are unable, for whatever reason, to speak out for themselves.

Is it easy to report bullying? * No, it takes courage; you may feel out on a limb, extremely insecure and vulnerable. However, once you become aware of bullying in your workplace, and choose to turn a blind eye, you are in effect condoning the behaviour in the eyes of the bully and helping to perpetuate it.

Some targets of bullying resort to sharing their story with the media. They feel let down by those in power who they should have been able to trust to act. Many are vilified and are further targeted with disciplinary action.

Sometimes the burden of reporting bullying can be very heavy.

Environment

Children growing up in dysfunctional homes (independent of class and status) need particular care and attention, as do their parents. Vilifying and excluding them is not the answer. We train people to drive cars, but anyone can become a parent, no matter how ill equipped. Many vulnerable families are left on their own after the birth of a baby to sink or swim. Children die; painfully and tragically when their parents are incapable of tending them. Others are scarred for life, emotionally stunted, and never reach their potential.

Midwives discuss their distress when delivering babies they know will be raised in abusive, dysfunctional homes. They are aware of the abused mothers, the alcohol and drug addicted, those with acquired brain injuries and others with low IQ who have little or no reliable support. The importance of a stable, secure upbringing, particularly in the early years has been well documented.

Who takes responsibility?

Responsible schools
Schools can play an important role in counteracting bullying. There is no excuse for schools not to be proactive. All children need to learn to identify bullying, to understand that the behaviour is inappropriate, and learn better ways of behaving, either as an onlooker, bully or target. Every child has the right to learn in a safe environment. Every teacher has the right to teach in a safe environment.

Most bullies can learn to behave appropriately if taught explicitly, supported carefully and supervised kindly, firmly and without condemnation. They need to learn how to take responsibility for their actions, understand there is no excuse for bullying behaviour and crucially, to learn acceptable ways to manage their inappropriate behaviour.

CASSE's (Creating a Safe, Supportive Environment) approach seeks to understand and address the underlying causes of problem behaviours such as bullying and violence. Their aim is to provide safe and supportive environments in schools so that students can grow, play and learn, which will facilitate the formation of resilience and cognitive development. (from their website)

If governments and schools are unwilling to tackle these issues, teachers, parents and the public may need to exert pressure to have effective programmes adopted in all schools. Further information regarding effective school programmes here.

In Victoria this month (April 2011) legislation was announced to provide jail terms of up to 10 years for workplace bullies. Link here. It's a positive step, but there are many more fundamental steps to be taken before everyone is aware that the behaviour is unacceptable.

Information here relating to bullying which has been ignored at school.

*Some targets of bullying have very good reasons for not reporting the bullying. Every case is different, and each target and onlooker will respond in line with their own personal situation, and should not be criticised for their choice.

A message of hope. East Side Gallery. Berlin. 2009.

Here tomorrow: Sociopaths and serial bullies

There are many outstanding resources on line. A couple I find useful are Bullying. No way! an Australian resource for teachers and students, and a UK site Bully On Line. This is in no way an exhaustive list, and each country will no doubt have equally good or more relevant websites. If you're being bullied please seek advice from a professional health care practitioner experienced in this area.

Over at jumpingaground I'm spending the month Drabbling using alliteration, many with an environmental theme.
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